is it wrong to help a friend?

Oh baby, I am so sorry to be the cause of your unhappy experience. And no, I don't think it is wrong of you to help a friend. You have been courageous and loyal, and I appreciate you for that. This said, myLot remains an open forum (if you ignore that myLot may just step in and delete your things without explanation :P) so everyone is entitled to their views. I would just shrug it off. As long as you are sure of your rationale and motivation, your conscience is clear. ;-)

hi,Its a difficult question you asked,whatever you did in the case of your friend is 100% correct.But we can't take it granted in all cases,because many people are adopting use and throw policies.So we have to go selectively in case of on line friends. You both are great friends,because both your USER NAMES are appearing simultaneously in each discussion..wherever you gave response. Any how this is example for you,how to deal further in case of on line friends.

Sweet heart, I am really sorry that you have been attacked so badly. I missed the thread you are talking about but I am sure I would have wanted to respond to that and respond positively. I feel lordwarwizard has been a fantastic contributor and an equally good friend and his leaving would have degraded the place. I know how you feel and what made you posted the open petition. However, when ppl donot agree we can do nothing about it. All good things have a flip side to it. there are a plenty of users you might not agree with us. They have their own reasons and justifications, which we should respect. Dear charms, just be little comforted that you know who exactly share the same vibes with you and do just to them. Now, smile and be happy, always. This is a happy place.

It's truly disgusting that you received that message Charms. its all trust that we friends on mylot have built up by way responding, and you have come forward courageously to defend one of the friends that commendable. theres nothing watsoever to be ashamed of it. the underlying attitude of the one who sent the message seems that rather than facing up to responsibilities of frienship that person should be enjoying himself in a hedonistic way and leaving all the problems to others. considering the huge positiveness poured on you, and assured support from my end, i hope you CHEER UP CHARMS88

I think there is nothing wrong to help out a online friend or a real life friend. I have a small group of online friends on yahoo and if any said they would leave online i would try my hardest to get them to stay. But if they had it set in their mind that they wanted to leave i might not have any way to make them stay. I dont see whats wrong about posting about it. I know i said if mylot kept deleting my stuff i was out of here. But i got mad and i got over it. I am too addicted to here. LOL or maybe i have interesting friends here and i would miss out on the interesting discussions.

Charms, I feel there is nothing wrong with what you did to help a friend. In fact, I find it commendable of you to speak out for a friend at the expense of incurring the wrath of many. I certainly pray that it has helped created more friends for you :) Personally, I do help my real friends, especially close friends. It would be the same principle I adopt for online friends. It takes time to develop friendship and trust. For online friends, other than the 'closeness' of the friendship, I would also consider the effect of my help since the impact would be much greater due to the wider audience, each with his own opinions. I do agree that with online friends we need to maintain regular contact with each other. We may treat a friend as friend, but we cannot speak so for the other party. I find it is only thru 2-way communications between discussions as well as private messages that friendship can progress and "closeness" develops. It is from this mutual understanding that trust develops, and I believe you have done it well.

Charms you know I would have done the same as you You know thatyou did right and you will always get the People that will dispute as for sending you an Insulting PM that is out of order why could the Person not say it openly. You have done no wrong I would have taken the same Action as you as I care about my Friends to and I hate seeing them being driven out of here. You also did right deleting the Person out of your Friends List as that Person is not a Friend. It seems that People here semm to think it is all about Money Well People let me tell you it is not, Charms and I have got a circle of Friends that we care about and that care about us and that is what it is about not money So Carms, my Love, you keep going there Girl you have my Support all the Way you know that. Love and Big Hugs to you Girl xxxx

I do not think that what u did was wrong, and also he is staying and it might be that u had part in that. i am glad that he is staying - and I also appreciated your post about him leaving. You have nothing to be ashamed of!

I think the only thing you did that was wrong was addressing a post to a particular myLot user. It's against the guidelines to do so, so I'm not surprised that some folks got upset about it. That said, I know your heart was in the right place, but we still all need to abide by the rules here.

Well if I'm to help a friend, I should know the reason first and think of the best way to support them. By saying this, it means, I will investigate first, listen to both sides of those involved, always give my best advise to settle things in a more diplomatic way. After that, if I find out that my friend is the one who's to blame, then I don't think I can help him cover or bail them out for their own mistakes. There is a procedure in distinguishing what is right from wrong, as I won't help them just because they are my friends. Doesn't matter if they are online friends or even real friends, we all have our own different lives to tend upon. We all should learn to draw a line between being a friend and a 'good' friend, for us to know where and when we should take a stand.

Well I would say something to this person in plain english but hang on a minute..let me find something more exotic.. wait i am multi tabbing on Mozilla..hold on one minute..what about mandarin lol? I would tell him that he is a zhou tou and should go and eat some gou shi if he wants to fill his mouth with kloads of crap and also..he should leave you the hell alone and he has no right to qin wode pigu.. also..tell him you are no chun zi and what you did you did in all hoesty and sincerety and that because you are a lady you will not tell him to cao ni zu zong shi ba dai.. hope this makes you laugh lol.. I won't tell you where I found this out lol..byut I can render it in any language..Mongolian and hokkien too if you like ahahahaaa

You know charms - Don't let the ones against you get to you. You did what you did because of a desire to keep a loyal and well loved member of Mylot with us. I supported you then and I support you now. Friends are friends regardless of whether they're faceless or not. I have many friends on the internet that I've never met, but they are friends nonetheless and if I had to, I would lay down my life for them. My best friend is someone I met online. We've never met but we speak online every day, we talk on the phone once a week and we know everything there is to know about each other. Just because we've never met face to face does not mean that we can't be friends. She's had some major health issues, and she's been there for me through my rough times too. We send birthday cards, Easter Cards, Christmas cards, and cards "just because." Don't let those opposed to what you did get you down. I think it's a good thing you did and shows friends you really do care. Way to go!

All I know is you are a nice person and I admire your efforts for a friend and would turn to you if I'm in somekind of problem . I have a habbit of getting myself in troubles lol so, I would need a friend like you to stand beside me. Take care friend as we friends are always with you.

I trust and help an online friend when I see that he/she encourages me to grow (in this newsite). He/she accepts and respects my point of views. And he/she stands besides me in the time of hardship and trial.! You're a good person Charms and I'm happy to have you as a friend.!! (^^,)

Charms I am truly proud of you, while most don't understand how important online friends, to the ones who understand, you did the right thing dear:) All you did was to stand up for a friend and your efforts paid off, that's the most important thing. When I made my first friend here in mylot I was totally taken aback at how caring and loving she was. She actually sent me a PM wishing me Happy Holidays! I was surprised at how strangers can be so close...it was then I realized mylot is a lot more than just the money and then began my new experience with mylot. My friends here are of course have stuck by me all the time, and it feels very good. Many times I've come back to mylot only to see what my friends have to say, even if I'm not posting. I would definitely help my friends out or anybody else no matter what. There is a certain wavelength between my friends and me (you know that charms) and I believe that's what keeps us together! :) Again I'm proud of you, huggers! :)

charms, what you did for your friend was above and beyond the call of duty and it was very commendable of you to do this. I am happy that you are on my friends list as I would like my friends to do the same for me. You have shown your sincerity in your friendship and it is great to know that their are such wonderful supportive friends here on myLot. I won't qoute what my dad used to say about the type of people who sent you the pms as I would be banned from myLot...lol. Just continue as you are, being a good friend to everybody and forget about the others.

I'm sorry for your unhappy experience. And No there is nothing wrong in helping a friend, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Dont' listen to those who don't do anything but oppose, do what you feel is right.

I think what makes me decide to trust and/or help an online friend just depends on our relationship - have we developed an online friendship beyond for example myLot friends just responding to each others discussions. I have several friends here who we've messaged back and forth on different occasions, exchanged email addresses and have a 'friendship' beyond myLot. I think how we help, encourage or support our friends is an individual personal thing. I will admit, I did not respond to your post supporting Wizard - but I also did not respond to his discussion of possibly leaving. I did however message him privately and encouraged him to stay for personal reasons, I enjoy his discussions, but also offered my support if he did decide to leave. I am pleased that he is staying but also know at any time any of us could make that decission to leave. I do think it was wrong of others to 'condemn' you for supporting your friend in your way. I do think some people will post responses merely to draw attention to themselves but then others will jump on the band wagon and follow others - it's sad but it happens in real life also. I know one young girl here who posts some absolutly wonderful Christian discussions but she has a rating of 2 because some mean person has taken on the task of responding to every single one of her discussions with negative responses and has friends doing the same - one does it so others follow, it's really sad that this happens to good people and I know you are a good person with good intentions... sending you a big cyber friend hug bunny :)

I am really sorry to hear that you received negative emails over it. The whole point of MyLot is to be a friend, and a friend is being supportive and standing by your friend. If you can't comply with that, then this website isn't the place to be. To me the responses you received showed the kind of friend they would be, so why keep them on your list. To diss you over it isn't right. It would be one thing, if they offered an opinion, but then they should have had the decency to post it for all, not go behind closed doors. I am sure that your friend is greatful, and really appreciates your friendship. I am glad you are my friend.

That's just life for you there's always going to be someone that's going to hurt your feelings, it is sort of like the post I wrote of the lady that answered to my classified add just to be unsensative. I guess we'll always be judged unfairly. I see nothing wrong in helping someone not even a complete stranger!