I FEEL like a horrible GRANDMOTHER and MOTHER ...

Well i think ur right there maam.Your daughter shud take care of her own and u can chip in occassionally but u've done a fine job of raising ur daughter and its about time she owed up to her responsibilities.Maybe u've always been available to her is the reason for her taking u for granted.

Hun, you did the same thing i would have done, but i more than likely would have also told her that she should have had the decency and respect to at least help me out when i needed it if she felt that she needed to be there for days. She's old enough to understand that, and with a child of her own she should know that even though grandma is a good woman and doesn't have a problem taking care of her duties at times, she needs help too. With her being angry and you a little upset i don't think it's going to be an easy couple of days for you, but once it all passes, her stress eases and she see's that you meant well, it'll be okay. relax hun, the tide will calm.

Don't put yourself on a guilt trip because your daughter wants things to be her way. It is your house and she needs to respect that fact. She should be helping you clean it. The least she can do is go home and get out of your way so that you can clean it. You were right by asking her to go home so you could clean. Don't feel badly about it.

I don't understand why she would not stay at her own house since she lives so close. If I were you I would not feel bad about telling her it was time to leave. It seems like she is taking advantage of you and your kindness.

You are neither a bad or horrible mother or grandmother. What you are is some one who is taking a stand on the amount of time you are willing to give to your daughter, Some times our children believe we are there to serve them in any capacity they deem fit,While I admire the fact that you daughter is studying, You have done more than your share of child rearing and child minding,It is time for you daughter to accept responsibility for her own life and make other arrangements with regard to getting some one else to baby sit while she studies or sleeps.I know that she may not be able to afford such a thing, but if she cant afford it she needs to look at that as well. You are not being selfish nor mean, You have given up as much of your life as you should and perhaps a bit to much, but now is your time to enjoy your life not be at the beck and call of children and grandchildren, It is with maturity that your daughter will understand this, so she will in her mind be right, and be in a snit for a while, do not back down, You have a right to a life as well. so go and enjoy

your daughter knows a good thing, when she sees it. I would want her to offer to help you clean. So givc her a mop and tell her time is short until Monday, you will be gone for the weekend and need help NOW! Than when she is finished she can take her nap!

ohh dear hun..i fear you are going threw what my friend is..and shes just plain taking advantage of you..I can see if she needs a break here and there..but to come for days..and not help out at all..is rediculous and just plain rude..she has her own place and she is an adult now.,.and she cant be like this.I think you need to have a sit down talk and let her know how you feel and you really must put your foot down hun..or its just gonna get worse and she is never gonna grow up..just tell her that you dont mind her visiting once awhile..but she just cant stay with you days at a time..because u have your life too..and she has her own.and i cant stand the thought of a nice person liek you being taken advantage of like my friend..i wish you the best luck,,.

I would have spoken up and said that she could stay and help. It would have been nice of her, seeing as she has helped dirty it.

First let me say, I am not a grandmother, but I do think since it is your house you have the RIGHT to requestthis from anyone regardless of their relation to you. I think your daughter is being bratty and selfish. I have no idea her age, but it does sound like she may be taking advantage of you and your help. I am sure she did not appreciate you asking her to leave so you could clean. She feels her life and her studies are much more important than you cleaning a house. I probably would have done exactly what you did or I would have asked her to help me clean. Asking her to help may have statred off World War III, so the way you did it was the most pleasant way. Kids never appreciate their own parents until their kids become teen-agers. Hang in there and stand your ground, you are not grandmother or a horrible mother.

If I were your daughter what I would do at the very least is to clean the house because I am in gratitude of you babysitting my daughter. I guess there are just family members that take other family members for granted and what they do to help. Don't feel horrible, what you did is right and it is up to her to misinterpret it that way. If she said horrible mean things to you then she will be the one to apologize first because she needs you to look after the baby. Just wait and see, she will come around.

There is no reason why your daughter should get upset at you! It sounds like you do a lot for your daughter and she should have some respect for that. My mom rarely wants to have my kids around unless it's a holiday, or she'll invite my oldest to saty because she's pretty self sufficient. My MIL always has my little ones (4 & 1) while I work, and sometimes will just keep them because I look like I need a break. In return I'll send her flowers, or get her a gift certificate to her favorite salon, or invite them over for dinner so she can get a break. Don't get me wrong, we have had our share of arguments, but in the end it comes down to mutual respect. There's nothing wrong with wanting to clean your house and getting a little break. Your daughter should be thankful she has you to help her out, i know i'd be lost without my MIL.

then im an even worse one cause my attitude is I raised mine now you raise yours im getting old and dont have thepatience i used to have and i just cant watch small children anymore fortunately my kids understand so they dont get mad they know i will do so in emergency situations but not just for their pleasure or convenience !we have a right not only to neat hiomes but also to some privacy ,its not that we dont love them its just that as we age we know our own limitations so dont let her being upset bother you i wouldnt !

Well gee whiz...what do you expect....Do you understand the term "enabler" ..she takes undue advantage of you because you let her..from some past discussions of your about your kids, this is not your first rodeo with her...Time you put your foot down..and hard..unless you want to be a doormat the rest of your life with her...If you are old enough to have kids and to keep them...read between the lines here...then you are old enough to bear the responsibility of taking care of them and not dropping them off on anyone gullible enough to take them. Sorry, if I sound harsh....just have heard so much of this kind of behavior from others...So..tough love baby...she is her mother's responsibility....you have already raised your kids..time to kick back...unless you want your own version of Romper Room....

Your daughter is abusing your good nature. She needs to grow up and take care of her own daughter. Sure, babysitting once in a while is a grandmother's pleasure, but you've done your duty, now she needs to suck it up and raise her own child.

No I can see your point of view. My grandaughter is just 10 months old and I absolutely love watching her but it's tiring and also let's face it - we've raised our kids. It really sounds though as if you're daughter is using you as an excuse to get a rest from being a parent which is just not on. It's one thing for her to come and stay for a few days but why does that mean she gives up looking after her daughter during that time? Is there maybe something else going on? Do you think she's maybe struggling to cope? It might be worthwhile just having a chat with her about it when she calms down a bit just to make sure everything is ok. I wouldn't feel bad about it though because you were right to do what you did.

I would have done the same. I am sorry to say this, and don't want to hurt you, but your daughter sounds a bit selfish and taking mom for granted. You have a right to your own life at your terms, not hers. So, get rid of the guilt, you did nothing wrong. You are just to good and soft hearted , and are being taken granted. Bless you dear.

You have a right to feel the way you are doing. I think your daughter is expecting too much of you and you need to set the ground rules although because she is being unreasonable with you this is hard to do. Of course, you want to see your daughter and grandaughter, but if she gave you warning when she was coming it would be different. I think you need to sit down with your daughter and tell her how you feel.

You are only grandmother and you have every right to feel the way you do. Do not feel guilty and don't let her make you feel like a bad mother or grandmother. You have your own life now. You done raised her and now she needs to raise her daughter. She just can't crash at your house when she wants and not help out any. She should be an adult and help out when she is there with you or not come over at all. Set your grounds down and don't let her walk all over you. You are still a good mother and grandmother and your daughter knows that. Kids say things and then regret it later. She will wake up one day and thank you for all this.

I would have done the same thing. I don't think that you are wrong for asking her and if she got that upset then maybe she need's to look at it threw your eyes or put herself in your shoes. Explain to her that you just needed to clean up and if you were staying with her you would of left or offered to help clean up to. Good Luck!

No you were not wrong for wanting your house clean, Texasclassygal. And you shouldn't feel guilty for requesting your daughter to go home so you could clean your house. Children are notorious for pushing the right button to play a guilt trip on us parents; no matter what their ages are. So when my kids go off on me I try not to carry the hurt to bed with me and I ask the Father God to forgive my kids and I tell Him that I forgive them and I bless them and don't curse them. But don't give in to them when you desire your house to be clean. You are an example not only to your children but also to your grand children.