I'm 21, and they won't let me go on vacation

United States
March 29, 2007 4:01pm CST
This is simply ridiculous. I have no idea how I put up with it. My parents won't let me go on vacation with my boyfriend of 5 years. They never have and never will simply because he wasn't gone on a vacation with my parents, which is simply because they plan vacations to stupid places and at inconvenient times, like during the school year. I am so fed up with it. I graduate in a month with my bachelor's degree, i have money saved up, and a loving and trustworthy boyfriend. i have all my life been oppressed by my parents they are so strict they have never given me any freedoms. they don't even let me cook. its sickening how oppressed i have been. i will stay this time around to respect their wishes. but im moving out within a week.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
30 Mar 07
One more month of putting up with the rules of living at home and you will be gone.Sounds like you actually have a pretty good life(a boyfriend who loves you,an education and parents who love you),but being controlled by someone else is not a good or healthy thing.Good luck in your new career and remember they may have "smothered" you,but it was not out of spite.
• United States
30 Mar 07
i agree with you, thanks for your response
@gittabest (1946)
• Iceland
30 Mar 07
That's weird, your an adult and should be able to do pretty much what you want. I hope you'll work this out :D Take care
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
yeah, its weird and very annoying, im sure i can figure something out. thanks for your response
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
30 Mar 07
You are 21, so nooe can tell u what to do You are legaly an adult at the age of 18 in my country, but i know that tehere are somethat has the age 21. anyways, you are an adult, and if u wanna go away with your bf you do not have to listen to your parents, just GO!
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Well, you're 21, and that makes you an adult. Period, end of story. The only "thing" your parents can hold over your head is essentially (if I understood your post correctly) that you live with them. So, they can say "as long as you are in our house, you live by our rules." To SOME degree, that may be understandable. But it really sounds like they have major control issues going on, so I think it's probably a good thing that you're planning to move out, so you can have a chance to develop a life of your own. Good luck to you!
@thanuarun (290)
• India
30 Mar 07
as an indian i can't think like u...here most of the parents r like this they r saying this for ur future,they don't like to pull u in darkness.. u may think parents r wrong..may be but i'm going with their opinion, if u want such a such a vaccation u just marry him...!
• India
30 Mar 07
think before going anywhere!its good that you respect them and have canceled your trip with your boyfriend this time.but you say that you would be leaving within a week.i dont think you should do this,this could hurt your parents.they have been strict to you,only thats why you have been respecting them all these years.if they had given leeway to you you would have gone out thus time witout even telling them.so if they were strict then only because for your sake.they love you and i know you love them too.they are not allowing you to go on vications with your boyfriend because they think thats right.your boyfriend is a nice guy but they dont realise it yet.so just agree to what they say and try to convey them.and if they really think that your boyfriend is trustworthy then i am sure they will allow you to go for a vication with him. dont feel bad for your parents. be good.
@joshdale08 (2320)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
shhh! calm down. soon, you'll be a parent, too and you'll be in the same boat. good for you, you live in a country where you're more or less liberated. here in the philippines, we can never go on vacations with just our boyfriend. we can only do that when we're married already. and, we've come to accept that. it's our way of life. so, no big deal really. go ahead, finish your course, land a good job, earn and save a lot and do what you want to do. good luck!
• United States
30 Mar 07
How will you be able to live on your own and make decisions every single day if at the age of 21 you can't even say "I'm going on vacation, deal with it"? It is not disrespectful to be independent. It is part of growing up, a natural part of life. Spread your wings and fly!
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
30 Mar 07
You have come to a point in your life when it is time to move out and make you own choices, congradulations. It does appear that your parents were a little over protective, but I am sure they really care about you. Do not dislike them for it, and do not just do things to get them back, you will end up hurting yourself more then you hurt them.
• India
30 Mar 07
parents only wish our well being. its their care that restricts our freedom. go with them wherever they ask you to come. tell them you have satisfied their wish and now its their turn to satisfy your wish . now you can ask them to come with you.
@camery (26)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I was in your same shoes three years ago. My parents were strict to us especially girls. But when I came to live on my own and after I graduated I came to understand that they only want whats best for me. But you know what, things changed when I had my own job and my 6 yrs boyfriend had his own job too. They allow us to go anywhere. Just cool it down gurl. The right time will come when they will give you freedom. Just make sure you will be able to handle it well too. Parents are parents. Sometimes it may seem so hard to understand but at the right time you will know why they did it. Besides I suggest your bf and you spend some quality time with your folks. He also has to gain your parents trust. :) Good luck...It wont stay that way forever.
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I guess you just have to let your parents undertsand and let them now that you are responsible enough to take care of yourself. Always tel them that every freedom comes great responsible and you are at the right age and you have to prove them that youa re responsible enough for your actions.. Running away or moving out will just worsen the situation. Make them feel that you still need them even though you are independent and make sure that you are responsible for all the consequences of every actions done.
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Wow. I feel you. I mean I think 21 is old enough. Talk about over-protective parents, here in the Philippines, most of us are not allowed to date until they reach eighteen. Some even are not allowed until they graduate from college. But maybe you should try to get them together in a setting where they can get to know your boyfriend more. Do you have any idea why they are that way towards your relationship with your boyfriend? Maybe a scary experience in the past earlier in their lives? Maybe they got traumatized or something. If that's the case maybe you can see some valid reason. Have you tried to talk to them and show you you strongly feel about what they're doing?
@lilpimp (28)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Wow your lucky.My parents get mad if i get a B in school. Your parents should let you make your own decisions.