My father

United States
March 30, 2007 8:49am CST
My father just recently learned that he is going to be going into kidney failure. He said that he will not do dialysis and he will not take a transplant from me. He also said that he is not going to tell my mother until it gets really bad because he do not want to upset her. My father is 49 years old he has numerous medical problem and takes pain killers everyday just to be able to get around. Now do I tell my mother about the situation and chance him being angry with me or do i obey his wishes and let him do what he wants. I have been grappling with this everyday.
1 response
inallduetime
@inallduetime (741)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I can see why your father does not want the transplant, as it all comes down to quality of life. If he follows thru with the operation and still encounters further health problems, the the transplant will not solve, then transplant will have been for nothing for both you and him. So I can understand him wishing to skip the transplant. As far as telling your mother, do what he wants and keep his confidence. If she knows, what good can it do? Can she support him anymore than she currently is supporting him? He is probably reasoning, her knowing will do more harm than good, at least to her on a personal level. If it were me, I would do as he wishes. As I wouldn't want to upset my father and break his confidence, not if he is in ill-health. I wish you and your family all the best.