Why is it that people who don't want kids can have them and I can't???

Anakata, Hun, there is no way that any of us can actually tell you why this happens .....although trust me you are not alone. There is no greater pain to a human being than to loose the lives of our children. I am so sorry that you have had such difficulty in having a child as your desire to do so rings very clear. I understand the great void that you feel. I have also lost 2 children in the months of January and October, so I also feel the pain that these dates have for me each year....as I am sure you do. I have been blessed with 4 children and could never even think about aborting a child. Although, I have never had to seriously consider "giving up" any of my children....there are certain circumstances where I can respect a parent's decision, if they are incapable or unwilling to care for the child, then the child is really better off without a parent like that. I have known several women that have adopted or raised "step-children" and have developed bonds as strong as if they had given birth to the child. I know that this is not what you wanted to hear.....but from your heartfelt description of desire to have a child(ren)........this may be what was actually intended for you and you are depriving yourself of a life-altering experience for both you and the child. Again, I am sympathic to your situation and wish you the best.

I sure don't want to sound cold and if it does, I apologize. To me the worst pain is never becoming pregnant period. I am 49 and too old now and health reasons. To me being childless is never becoming pregnant period and never carrying a child not even for awhile. What makes me angry is too many women out there having abortion (Murder).

I'm so, so sorry. I know many people in your situation keep hoping. I'm pro-choice, but my acquiantance who had abortion said she prayed that her child's soul would be resent to someone really wanted a child. If she would've known you; I'm sure it would've been you. Good luck!

I can feel your pain here in many ways. I have never lost a term baby, but have suffered 3 miscarriages. my husband and I tryed for 4 years for my son that is now 2, and before that people were so cruel and jsut said the worst things to me about trying to get pregnant and stuff. I think the worst comment was , it will happen when you least expect it. Trying to have a child is the hardest thing to go through when it doesnt happen. Infertiity isnt any fun especially when your questions go unanswered. I also feel the same way you do about all these young girls having babies so easy and then loving couples go empty armed. It isnt any fair and life isnt either. I hope that you get your take home baby soon and your pain can be healed with a baby of your own to love.

I was diagonsed with PCOS Nov 05 and I am crushed that I may never have kids. I see all these people who don't deserve to have children just pop them out left and right. I do plan on adopting kids at some point. All I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. I am now- almost 30 with only a hubby and animals. I don't understand why it works that way, but it does. Christina

Just another example of how this world sucks. I'm very sorry, I have no idea why things like this happen, it's very unfair.

Life is not always fair. But alot of things depend on heredity or health, two things you can't control. I am very sorry for your loss. Have you been to different doctors to help you understand why you can't have a baby? It is always good to have a second opinion. I know you don't want to hear that you should adopt but maybe you should. Because how many times are you willing to go through the disappointment of losing a baby?

I do sympathize with you. I, too, was unable to have children. I know how it hurts. I always think how unfair life can be, but maybe God has a different plan for me. I have to think this way -- if I don't, I only get more depressed. What I recently did was find a job for two hours a day working in an elementary school as a school monitor. It makes me feel good when the children run up to me at lunchtime and smother me with hugs. Don't give up on your dreams just yet. You're only 38 years old -- you still have time to become a mother. Best of Luck to you.

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I know how it feels to lose a precious baby. I had two miscarriages. One I knew for sure was meant to be. because from the time I was Little I wanted to have a baby in the year 2000. I got pregnant and it was supposed to be born around Jan 1,2000. I KNEW it was meant to be. I had everything planned. but just 3 months into it. I lost it. I was devastated. So I know how you feel. I don't know how it feels to not ever have kids though. I have three boys. So I'm sure it would not be a good thing for anyone to go through. I do know that there is a reason for everything. You will find out what that reason is some day. Then you will understand. I know that doesn't comfort you now. There is nothing I can really say to make you feel better except I'm sorry you are in such pain. I got a shoulder to cry on if ya need it. Hugs.

There's no better words to put into context the realism of true life. I symphatize with what you're going through, anakata. Life is certainly a series of cruel jokes that cast upon us without warning. I wish I can positively tell you to wait for the proper time to have one of your own. But I'm neither God nor a genie to give you this assurance. Though I really hope that you will remain in high spirit that things will come smoothly for you.

There's no logic to things like this, and the world works in cruel ways sometimes. I really really sympathize with you. A very close friend of mine can't have children, and all her life it's hurt her one way or another. She has nieces and nephews, she's a godmother to three wonderful children, but every mothers day it hits her that she'll never get a card saying Happy Mothers Day from her own children. I don't know what to tell you. I guess if you're looking for a solution there's the possibility of IVF if you have the financial means for it, or maybe it could be time to have a few tests, if you haven't already, to see why you seem unable to hold a pregnancy. Life is hard to endure, and there are many obstacles to face. I think not being able to have children is one of the hardest things a woman has to cope with. People say it's fate, but I don't believe that - not for a minute. There has to be a reason somewhere along the lines.

I'm sure there's lots of people that don't want children who can't have children. they just never find out, because they're not trying. it's harsh though. the very thought that I could become pregnant and have a baby absolutely terrifies me. the very thought of having a living thing inside me waiting to come out makes me feel a bit ill. and I think it's very sad that there's people who can't, and if only there were a way I could swap the situation, I would.

don't be sad. we are in the same league here. i also wonder why. bt after sometimes, i just leave everything to God. i know he has plans for me. maybe i'm not ready yet to have a baby. only God knows that. i'm not in a good financial situation now, my career is going down the drain, spiritually not good, so maybe God want me to stabilize myself first before i can take care of other people's life. just be patient and live your life as it is. don't forget to pray to GOD though.

I wish I could say some thing to make you feel better but when I was ther I know no one could make it better for me ,They told me I could never have any kids after the misscarige of my twin boy I was eight mo along and they were so pretty.But god had other plans dor them, I went 6 years before I did have a baby and I thank god every time I look at each one of my kids now all three that the doctors said i could not have.I really hope something works out for you

I can understand what you feel as I also went therough the same phase and didn't had any kids till after seven years of marriage and even second on was again after seven year gap. I don't know why this wrks like this but have faith and pray. I attribute my kids to my prayers. they are result of that only. I am totally against abortion and sometimes woinder what ifthe young mother who is going to abort her baby may not have any other after it. Do keep trying. one of my aunt also miscarried a lot of them before she had her son. I know how your heart yearns for them, our thoughts make our world do not give up. Next time just be more careful. I will also pray to the same god I prayed to for my kid. I hope she will answer your prayer too.

There is no logic to it. It's just fate. Sometimes you bdy co-operates with you and other times it doesn't. Don't despair, keep trying. The doctors might be able to work out why you are losing your babies. I read years ago that Sophia Loren suffered from the same thing, but they corrected it (check her biography). Good luck whatever happens.

You brang a tear to my eye. I feel for you and I know exactly where you are coming from. Its totally wrong how it works. I cannot give you an answer but, I do from the bottom of my heart hope that you have a little surprise one day. Best of wishes.

i reall ydont know but i wonder that too the people who really dont need the kids and who dont want them always ends up ahving them and the people who really would be good parents always has a struggle of haveing children

Life can be very hard indeed. Sometimes the things that happen can seem very unfair. My mum lost eleven babies, one at six months, but did manage to produce three healthy kids. My brother and his partner have both experienced fertility problems and have finaly had a child on IVF. I feel very bad because I know the problems that they had, while at the same time I know I don't want to have children, but as I'm not trying, I dont know if I can or can't. Please never give up hope darling. I'm sure that you a wonderful person and have a lot to give to a great many people. Sometimes fate works in a way that is hard to understand, and then one day it treats you very well and brings along some lovely surprises.

I can understand how you feel now, when I say now it's because I'm 43 and have lost babies trying to become pregnant as my second husband is much younger than me and has no children, I am lucky because I have got 2 grown up children, but each month I still pray for just one more little miracle! I would adopt if I could but its still really hard in Britain to qualify, because I have been blessed with 2 children and because of my age friends and family think I'm mad to go through all this pain, but I would just love to see my husband's face if I were ever able to give him a child, please don't give up, I pray that God gives you the chance to have a baby, you have been through so much, If I can't then maybe he can spare a baby for you, I really hope so, lots and lots of luck to you!!!