HEEEEELP my Wife is NUTS.

I don't know but I think my husband wrote this under your screen name =) He is never on myLot but I know he feels the same way!! I amconstantly critisizing myself and he tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky I am to be skinny after having two kids, and not have stretch marks...blah blah blah. I try not to do it so often though because I know it isn't good. Help her try to understand how beautiful she is to you , and others too.

This is soemthing that I've had to deal with with a female friend of mine. The first thing to remember is that she'll possibly think that you're saying nice things about her so as not to hurt her feelings. I've fund a good thing to do is to make lots of little comments about how she looks and what she's wearing when she's NOT looking in teh mirror and asking you. Just notice her - little and often is the way. That way it's not like you're making a big song and dance about it. Very few women are 100% happy with themselves, ebcause of what they see in the media. Also, if YOU look at other women, she may feel that you're making comparisons. I'm not saying you shouldn't look at other women, but remember this! Be hoenst with her and pay her those small, regular compliments. Be proud to be with her - she'll eventually start getting the message.

Ok, first I want to say I do agree with what the others have said before me but I also need to add or ask I guess. Have you ever asked her why she feels she isn't attractive? You may find that somewhere in her past someone, a mother, father, or someone else close to her, told her she wasn't attractive. Something like that can stick with a person long into their adult life. I speak from experience. If she can't talk to you it may help her to talk to someone else about it.

Great same is with me too . I have been with my wife from long 7 years now. I also can admit my wife is incredibly attractive but she has very high self image. She is constantly looking in mirror and making comments , " Oh my god, I'm very attractive. " Even I'm confused what to do regarding this. We are in same boat but have different shores to reach. All I can suggest you right now is avoid and ignore what all she says.

You know what you have done all that you can do. It is up to your wife to accept who she is and realize she is beautiful esp. to you otherwise you wouldn’t have married her?? She needs to understand beauty is within which is far more important. I wish your wife the best and hopes see will see that she is beautiful no matter what =) Take care and Good Luck Stacy

Well maybe she just likes to hear the compliment, dude. Maybe that's because you don't compliment often enough? And, uh, you got lost of guts sharing it with us here. What if she finds out? Coincidences happen sometimes.

Your wife has a deep seated image problem-her mind keeps telling her she is not beautiful enough and it is your duty to reiterate the otherside that she is indeed the most well shaped thing God created. Dont go nuts otherwise the situaton will get worse and your marriage will suffer.Keep the compliment level high, let her see a beautitician, if the worst comes to it, let her see a beauty psychiatrist!

If she's nuts then I am too! I feel the same way. I don't know why. My husband tells me I'm beautiful and sexy and I always say something stupid like "Yeah Right" or "I wish". I have no self esteem (sp?). I've had five kids and I probably do have a pretty nice body for having that many children. I always feel like I hate something about my body, whether it be my hair or my eyes, or wrinkles, blah blah blah. I wish I knew how to fix her and myself. But, I don't. It does help when hubby does say that I look really nice or that he thinks I'm sexy. But, ten minutes later, I feel the same way again. And NO I'm not saying that you should tell your wife every ten minutes that she looks nice (that would be annoying, lol). I guess what I'm trying to say is just keep letting her know that you find her sexy and attractive and maybe, hopefully, she'll start to feel better soon. Also, I agree with the above comment and straight up ask her why she's not satisfied with herself! She might not even realize what she's doing. Good Luck! :-)

I think you should take her out one night. Both of you dress up, start with a dinner and then go dancing or to a club. I'm sure she will get some notice from the men and you should point out that she is drawing a lot of attention from others. This should confirm what you are telling her and have been all along. Good luck and have fun on your night out!

Don't keep trying to convince her...only she can do that. Don't get upset when she says that kind of stuff, just lovingly/gently reinforce the fact that she's crazy...lol. Don't fight about it, and don't get upset...just let her know that you see something completely different when you look at her. Tell her "you can say you're ugly all you want...you're gorgeous and i love you and nothing will change either of those things." hope it helps...best of luck.

better see a doctor..maybe she has that psychological thing that needs to be cured. well, just keep on trying to make her feel more beautiful everyday..that you will love no one else but her alone. good luck, my friend.

Sweetie, she will honestly never see what you see. A woman who has poor self esteem will forever feel that way. All you can do is get her to see that YOU see it. Just keep telling her she is beautiful and you love her.

That's a tough one, because on the other hand you probably wouldn't want her to be conceited right? So what I would do, is what you probably already ARE doing-telling her she's beautiful, complimenting her alot esepcially when she get's a haircut or her nails done ect. It's hard for women, there are SO many beautiful women out there and on tv, its hard not to compare yourself and feel lousy. Just keep it up, don't lose hope! She will get it eventually, at least you are making the effort, it's all you can do really!!!

I agree with what kareng said. My cousin has fat on her stomach only. She is one of the most beautiful women I know! She has the most beautiful hair, legs, eyes, those lips that women pay big money to have and most of all her heart is beautiful! My cousin is always saying stuff like, my fat santa belly, my ugly rolls, my ugly hair, my fat lips......etc. I just ignore her comments completely. I only tell her how beautiful she is when she is NOT cutting down on herself. You have no idea how many boyfriends she has lost because of her comments about herself. I have been lecturing her since I meet her two years ago about how much guys hate to hear that when they think they are beautiful and they are totally in love with them. Girls need to realize that most men don't want to become a therapist, they want to be a lover. They want to feel like when they say "You're beautiful" that you believe them because you are the one that loves them. I would NEVER correct my husband when he says that about me. I just follow up with "Thank you" and leave it at that even though I dissagree with him totally. LOL

Sounds like you are pretty much doing what you can in order to make her feel like the beauty that she is!! Has she always been this way - worrying about how she looks and thinking that she isn't up to par to herself?? Sometimes it can be very difficult for those who have low self-esteem to get a grip and realize that they are truly beautiful inside & out!!! You totally sound like a wonderful husband!!!

Just keep on telling her she is beautiful to you! The images women see every day really can do a number on a woman's self esteem. She needs to see pics of models and such before airbrushing and lighting take over. Always respond, no matter how tired you get of saying it, that she is beautiful to you. Another suggestion is to write a poem or something about all the good qualities your wife has, aside from physical beauty to make her feel special and see that "beautiful" is about so much more than what's on the outside. :) Good luck.

I wish I had written this post. Everyone of the responses was insightful. There are lots of sensitive people here. They obviously understand but from different aspects.

this is a hard one cause there are alot of people that feel this way about there self. i believe it about myself. i am not as bad as i use to be but still. when hubby and i first got together my self esteam was so low it was sad. personally mine came from my parents. neither one of them wanted me and my mom would tell me all teh time i was ugly and fat and looked just like my dad. my parents hated each other. it is hard to get through to someone that has been told that. just telling someone they are pretty doesnt always work you have to show them and that is hard. when your wife isnt saying anything about it like when cooking dinner or cleaning house etc just walk up to her and hug or kiss her and tell her how nice she looks. if she starts to complain just put your finger over her mouth and say dont say it cause it breaks my heart to hear it cause i know what you look like i see it. buy her a new dress, have her go get a hair cut, go get her nails done just silly stuff like that and make a big deal of what she looks like when she gets home. little things like that will soon stick in her head. if you are lucky enough it find out why she feels like this though then you have a good start on how to fix it. my husband talked to my mom about it and my mom and i dont get along but she called me one day out of the blue and told me she was sorry i was pretty its just i looked like my dad and she hated him so much she took it out on me. that did wonders. it also helps when you hear it from someone besdies family and friends. like if a guy comes up to me that i dont know and says wow you look good want to go out i feel really good about myself. i dont want to go out but hey its nice to hear. i had a person come up one day and tell me i was really pretty could they take a pic of me at the store that was very flattering. good luck cause this is a hard one and will take alot of time. just be there and try.

Maybe just going to church might help. Is she looking for your recognition? Maybe giving her something else to do would help. Like work or a hobbie. Ever consider her to go fishing and the aspects of being quiet while fishing? Maybe something like even a college class would help her self image. Best of luck, this is a tough one to work with.

hahaha I have the same problem too. What I did was agree with her. When she asked if she looks fat, I said, "YES! But I still love you. So shut up now."