Do you pay for the BIRTHDAY BOY?
@lordwarwizard (35747)
Singapore
April 3, 2007 9:14am CST
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to y----o----u. Happy birthday to YOU! And so the birthday song that was composed centuries back is still being sung today.
How do you normally spend your birthday? For me, it's quite a hushed up affair. I will usually just have a nice dinner with friends.
Last night, my Mum mentioned that her best friend has reserved a place at a posh restaurant for her coming birthday. So I said, "Great. Your friend must be feeling generous to give you such an expensive treat!". She turned around and looked at me with a puzzled expression. "No honey, I am treating her for my birthday, not the other way round."
I find it so strange. Every time I celebrate my friends' birthdays with them, I would be the one paying for the meal. I just feel that if you are the birthday boy/girl, it's your big day so you deserve a treat. After all, on my birthdays, I get a free meal each time too. The situation seems to be reversed for my Mum's case. Instead of getting a free treat, she has to treat everyone on her birthday. And no, she doesn't get any presents either.
I am not sure whether this is a generation-gap thing. I am 6 and my Mum is 26 so it might be that. What is the "birthday situation" on your side? Does the birthday boy/girl have to pay, or does he/she get a free treat? Or do you leave out the treat and give presents instead? Or do you never celebrate birthdays for your friends? :P
Do share your thoughts. ;-)
21 people like this
55 responses
@ricknkae (1721)
• United States
3 Apr 07
It is very rare if I go to the restaurant on my birthday ... Usually I would invite people for dinner at home ....So, yeah , I will treat for the food ... but they bring presents!....Plus I can enjoy their company and I don't have to drive home after the party !!! SO I kinda like it that way
When I was younger, my parents would invite our family on the Sunday coming just after my birthday for lunch, and I would get presents
Once in college, some friends of mine decided to take me out to a pizza place on my birth day ... and they DID pay for me ...
I would think people should treat YOU when it is your birthday .... well that's my opinion
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
I think you are the homely kinda person. ^^
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
3 Apr 07
I've always thought if it was your birthday, you should be the one getting a treat, however it doesn't happen with my friends. It was always the birthday girl/boy treating everyone else. When it was my birthday I would treat my team with morning tea (making sure I only spent a certain amount though). When it comes to family, my hubby and son treat me to breakfast, lunch or dinner (depending on which one I chose) and for presents, I would get $$ to spend on myself or a gift if they had time to buy it for me. Aren't I lucky LOL
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
We stand on the same line. Birthday boys and girls should be treated and not exploited. :P
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
3 Apr 07
If I am not with my hubby ..my birthday sucks..my family never do any thing for me..so I always feel a bit down..If I am lucky and a couple of friends are around we might go out..otherwise the best place to spend my birthday is with hubby..cos he will always take me out for a nice meal for my birthday and buy me a chinese dress or something like that. At least he makes me feel a bit special..because my birthday is so close to christmas I miss out..but my dad this year was kind enough to pay half my air ticket to U.S which I really did appreciate..,even if it was a one off lol.So sorry about your mum..her so called friends should treat her!!
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
Barbie, you and your husband. You are the envy of many! :P
2 people like this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
3 Apr 07
I don't know, I've always been taken out for a free meal on my b-days too. But I guess if no one had offered to take me out, And I actually felt like celebrating, then I would invite some friends to join me, in which case I would have to pay. . . Did your mom's friend invite her out? or did your mom set up this dinner date?
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
Nice people are usually taken advantage of.
2 people like this
@deltax (287)
• Philippines
3 Apr 07
In our country, the birthday boy always treats his friends. But I don't, personally agree with that. I think I should be the one to treat my friend if it's his birthday and not the other way around. Do you like to spend a huge amount of money on your birthday? :)
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
What if I am broke? Goodness.. I wouldn't dare tell anyone it is my birthday. :P
2 people like this
@Suze05 (480)
• United States
3 Apr 07
that is very odd.. the birthday boy ..or girl..shouldn't have to pay. That's just not right. We always pay for them if one of my friends or family has a birthday. We just had a birthday party for my brother on Sunday, and we bought pizza, but we didn't make him chip in any money for it. On my last birthday, my family took me out to The Outback for dinner, and they paid for me and my bf both! lol and gave me lots of cash on top of it.. I loved that part the best. LOL I think your mom has it backwards, and she needs some new friends who will pay for her on her birthday. You're 6? wow..you write really well for someone only 6 years old LOL
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
that is very odd.. the birthday boy ..or girl..shouldn't have to pay.
That's what I thought too!
You're 6? wow..you write really well for someone only 6 years old LOL
Glad you pointed that out. I practised hard in my mama's womb, alright? ^^
2 people like this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
5 Apr 07
when i have a friend that has a bday or even sometimes i family member..iwil take them out for there Bday..maybe a dinner,and a movie then afterwards i usually will take them out for a drink or three if they drink..and i do sing Happy Bday to everyone lol..i either call and leave a message on there machine,or to them..orrr..i will get people out and about either for dinner or drinks and have them sing with me lol..on mine though..the last few years i havent doen anything..and its sucked..its so hard for me to find a sitter anymore,,or have money to do anything..but my parents and my sister will have a nice small party for me..like a small dinner and cake and ice cream and presents..they just dont think you ever outgrow parties..lol lol
@dnatureofdtrain (5273)
• Janesville, Wisconsin
28 May 07
Some people do it the other way around to give back to their friends and loved ones. I know for the last few years I had not made a list, and told everyone I did not want anything for my b-day because I had everything I wanted, and because my parents were putting in so much money for the house, and bills.. I figured not taking b-day gifts would save my parents a little bit of money...
But with me I do not want peoples presents..
I want to enjoy their Presence, their company.
- DNatureofDTrain
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 May 07
It sounds as if you are nicer to your parents than they are to you.
1 person likes this
@ctv101103 (859)
• Philippines
28 May 07
i think it depends on the culture.
here in our country, the birthday celebrant is usually the one who treats his friends. but i've been to countries where the birthday celebrant is treated by his friends.
2 people like this
@ctv101103 (859)
• Philippines
28 May 07
how true! i tend to hide from family/relative/friends when my birthday comes and i'm broke! LOL!
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 May 07
Scary to have birthday if you are broke. :P
2 people like this
@Rexy_leigh (1189)
• Philippines
4 Apr 07
I just turned 23 last week :P and my boyfriend shouldered the expenses for my birthday bash..lol
but usually, it's me treating my friends and family during my birthday, it's a way of thanking God for giving me another year, and them for sharing a good and blessed year with me. Though am not asking them for a birthday present, some just love giving me surprises, and I love it.. lol
well, it was a different thing though during those days that I wasn't earning my own money yet.. of course, how would i be able to treat a bunch of special people if I don't have money at all... so those times, it was them who treated me... :P
@subathra (3519)
• India
28 May 07
I always give treat to my close friends on my birthday either with a lunch or evening snacks depends upon my comfort.I always pay for the treat but i too get a whole lot of presents and cake from them.Not only me if its any one of their birthday they will give the same treat.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 May 07
If you get presents, then naturally, it would be nice for you to pay for the treat. :P
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
I also spend my birthday with friends, and yes, mostly my friends paid for the dinner. And I do get presents from some friends as well. For some friends, the dinner is on me. It is just to balance the equation. I believe in giving after taking. I give donations. I was taught by some religious fellowship that it is good for one to "give" on one's birthday, and I do practice it religiously, donating to my religious school if I am around the vinicity.
Maybe your mum is gracious enough to agree to give a treat, but I am certain it is not the generation gap thing. Maybe ask her why and we will know :P
I remember my uncle celebrating his 60th birthday. We had to give presents as it is a grand affair and held at a restaurant. I attended, and I really labelled it a generation gap event.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
3 Apr 07
Maybe you can paypal/egold each of us some money on your birthday. That would be an event. ^^
2 people like this
@lonewoulfe (585)
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
lol your 6? You must be kidding, typo i guess, comes with ... its the birthday (just jokin). The case is not an uncommon practice in our culture. The general practice in my country (speaking in general) is that for any milestones that comes in your life, birthdays included, its your responsibily to prepare a feast of something not for your self but for the guests that may join you in celebration, bringing gifts is very much welcome but not required.
I wished its the other way around.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
5 Apr 07
Maybe it was a typo. I am actually 6.1 but I prefer to stay 6.
1 person likes this
@lossforredwords (3620)
• Philippines
4 Apr 07
Actually here in the Philippines its been a tradition that the celebrant should be the one to treat the guest or the whole party. Yeah it must be a bit confusing cause you are the one who are celebrating a special occssion then you got to hold the burden of treating them but that is just the way it is here. Its funny cause some people here get more sad when its their birthday cause that means letting money go by making all the necessary preparaion for the celebration.
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I have never heard of the birthday boy/girl buying for everyone else- We always celebrate birthdays-- It's us the friends who always treat- For my really close friends I treat and buy a gift too- At work there are 5 of us that get together for birthdays- The birthday girl picks the restaurant and the others pay- We also take turns in bringing in desert. I don't think the birthday girl should ever have to pay.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
4 Apr 07
There is such a huge variety of answers to this question. It depends on the actual age. it starts when you're a baby...you get a First Birthday Party....and it deteriorates from there. Becoming a teen, sweet 16, coming of age, can drive, drink and vote, marry, go to war.
21, receiving the 'key'; harking back to an old fashioned era.
And so on every 10 years.
Yes, the birthday boy/girl gets presents, treats, a party or dinner.
This is pretty much the case wether one is rich or financially challenged.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
4 Apr 07
My parents always take me out to lunch for my B'day, i did think it sounded odd when your Mum was paying for someone else to go to lunch, when it was her own b'day. Maybe your Mum's just an extra generous person on maybe she was thinking no-one would have a nice day out with her if they had to pay for it, i dunno!
Usually i get presents & get treated out for lunch with my b'day - come to think of it, my mum's always the treater, even when we go shopping, just for the day out she's always the coffee treater & gets all funny if i ever offer to pay for them myself.
I think it might just be a generation gap thing!
@gegegelay (933)
• Philippines
4 Apr 07
Well the first and last time I treated my friends out on my birthday was when I was in 1st year college. The usual stuff that my twin sister and I do when we celebrate our birthday is that we invite our friends over to our house and serve food, of course. After that we just chill out and we always have this birthday celebrants "hot seat" time wherein my sister and I will just sit down and listen to our friends' message for us. It usually takes us 5 hours to finish it since we have TONS of friends, hehe..Ü
However, I've experienced being treated out by some friends to a restaurant and it was really nice and flattering ;)
