my husband is so possesive

I think that your husband is not being fair with you at all. Have you sat down and talked to him about this. Obviously he has some insecurities and from what you have told us he sounds very possessive and controlling. I know that this is a personal question and you don't have to answer it, but is he physically abusive?

Well, what I can see from your story is that you have a loving husband. He really loves you, the only thing is that you don't understand him and may be don't want to understand him. As a wife I think you should have to listen to your husband and all that he is doing on you is just how he loves you. On the other hand, you your self should have to change your life knowing that you are married. You should have to understand him and try to talk to him nicely so that both of you will understand each other. From the picture on your icon, I can see that your husband is a nice person. Try to get the mutual understanding between both of you so this small problem wouldn't get bigger in your life which will makes you feel your marriage life is not happy.

tell him what you think.

WEll i was in that type of a relationship and i did not feel important about it in any aspect. And it can get alot worse than that as well. I dont really know alot about your situation only what i read but i call that control and control should not be in a healthy relationship. Like the words of one of my favorite songs You want to arms that want to hold you and not own you. Sounds to me like he wants to own you not be a part of your life talk to him about it before it is too late.

I think that your husband is just a little insecure about himself so make him feel that he is the only one in your life, but sometimes guys like that are those who is hiding something because they dont trust you..simply because they are doing something behind your back..like cheating..but they dont want you to do the same thing to them... its ok if you are also like that to him..like if he doesnt have an all boys night out or you get mad if he doesnt call, or you tag along with him..etc

some people do not understand the meaning of LOVE. Loss Of Vision and Eyes.

Yes, you are a prisoner. Nobody has the right to be this possessive of another adult, whether they are married to them or not. He may love you but he apparently doesn't trust you! A good marriage is built on mutual love, trust and communication. You need to communicate with him your feelings about his controlling behaviour. Tell him that being married does NOT mean sacrificing one's individuality and freedom to be the person he was, presumably, attracted to in the first place. If it did, how come HE doesn't have to come straight home from work, gets to go out with his choice of friends and can choose what he wears? You have a right to be trusted as well as loved. If he doesn't like that, then he needs to learn. If he won't learn the easy way (by listening to your concerns and respecting them), then there are harder ways you can use if you have to!

I have a very close relative that has the same problem. Her husband is already retired and she is still working, the slightest things makes him jealous and most of the time I think he is being pathetic. Like going out for lunch with co-workers is a big deal for him, he'd say why not just come home for lunch, it is not as if there's no food at home... it is so irritating that I would want to tell him, I'm sorry if your wife has a life and you don't. Love has it's limitations, and it does not include holding your partner as a prisoner. Wanting to cut them off the from the rest of the world isn't fair at all. The thing with possessive people are that, once they are in that relationship, they tend to forget their own life, they neglect the fact that they have friends and family of their own, that is why all the attention goes to the partner, and they hope that they get the same treatment as well. The best thing I think is to be able to maintain our social life, though less but not totally shut yourself off from your world you used to live in. That way there will be balance, cause if you only spend time with your partner, as in all the time. In no time, your going to start to feel you are missing out on a lot and everything is just the same everyday. Life is going to get dull and boring.

Im so sorry to hear of your situation. I can actually relate to your dilemma. There is only 1 solution for this. You must yourself make the change. No one else can make the change for you. If you are un happy with your husband, you must tell him how you feel.

I don't think I would be happy with that! I am married and he lets me do what I want to do and that goes for him too so we both trust each other dearl. We have been together almost 25 yrs in August. I think you should sit down and have a good talk and let him know how you feel.

yes thats normal . that means he loves you so much. lets say if he is not possessive you will ask now that he doesnt love you. right? try talking to him and ask him if he trust you. i know you he is. then assure him that you will not do anything that will ruin your relationship. be transparent . it will let him take away the fears that he might loose you. thats the worst case. just be transparent and always tell him that you love him . im sure later on he will change. understand him first for you to be understood. God Bless

Gosh, I feel bad for you. I would explain to your husband that he does not need to be so insecure. You are married to him and he should trust you, you also need friends in your life and do girl stuff alone. I would also tell him you can decide what you wear yourself, his opinion is nice but if he doesn't like it-TOO BAD. I hope you feel better!!

i think ladies love to be pampered by thier respective loveones right???but i think your husband is way off the limits already.if he trusted you truely,he will not do that to you.i have a friend who hace a hubby like youres.what she did is confront her boo that she dont like to be treated that way(she got the courage).and you know what,thats the only time her husband realize that his to much already and from then on,he started to change.just try,it might work for you also...

i am a guy. I possesive too with my girl but now i already change. Im not possesive anymore. Sometimes when a man loves u so much he just want u to be with him, because he dont want to lose you. My suggestion is talk honestly with your mate. Communication is the best for relationship (with honest), tell him all you feel. If you dont tell him, he will never know how you feel

i too think that it is very irritating,,but its all because he love you very much..i think you should speak to him about the matter and that should do the good

Possessive husbands are selfish. They might be of suspecting nature. Talk out. It is your life and you will live the way you want. Make him understand.

This does not sound like a good situation to me. You are married to him so he is not your father. Why so many rules? It sounds like he is very controlling and very insecure. He doesn't want you anywhere but with him because he is always afraid that he gonna lose you. You definitely need to get some counseling to fix this situation. If not things will only get worse.

If i was you i would put a stop to that right off before it gets out of hand. I dont think you should be running around with your friends to often but maby a girls and guys night out would work a couple times a month.

It may be a trust issue, or something completely different. The only way to find out is to openly communicate with him in an honest and non-defensive way. Be as diplomatic as possible, it won't do any good if either of you get defensive or offended when you talk through this. Draven the Respectful Atheist http://dravenwriter.blogspot.com

Sounds to me like your husband is very insecure. To have someone keeping track of you 24/7 makes you like a prisoner. Does you husband have any friends of his own? Have you considered marriage counselling?