Someone here is not nice?Is it just me?BE NICE
By raydene
@raydene (9871)
United States
April 9, 2007 9:46am CST
I have noticed the last few days that many of the top most positive people here are having things deleted,losing ratings..I mean a big drop....What is going on here?
Last night someone's idea of being a pet activist posted a hurtful comment to a response to my discussion.I immediately asked if mylot would please delete it as I was sure that it would hurt my mylot friend's feelings...They deleted it very quickly which I'm very thankful for.
When they deleted some of my posts it was my own fault because I had answered some responses in 1-3 word replies..It's in the rules so I was wrong..No big deal..
Now one of my friend had her star change and the rating drop ..It happened to another friend about a week or so ago also..I know their feelings were hurt.I also know that they would not hurt anyone so I feel sure that this is some jealous,disgruntle person that is just hateful.
I love this site and you get 100 great responses to a discussion then 1 mean person can come along and make or break your day..
I think that if each person that is feeling mean,judgemental,controlling...would write a discussion and get feedback from like people and stay away from the nice people we would all be happy here.I mean OMG who died and left the world for them to run!!lol
You don't have to agree but you can disagree in a constructive way without trying to make the other person feel bad...throwing in a little hope I haven't hurt you can go along way also..
This is the perfect opportunity to help someone that is feelin,hurt,inferior,used,unloved today..You might be saving someones life..you never know..
So why don't we all try to be nice or not post to nice discussions..
I hope that I haven't hurt or offended anyone...I have not set out to do that..I just want everyone to get along..
Thanks Everybody
17 people like this
30 responses
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yep I must have ticked someone off! My rating went from a 9 to a 7 in just a few hours. I understand though. I started a topic I knew would hit a few nerves. Just trying to make some people realize that there are two sides to a story and being rude is not acceptable. So that's fine, I expected it.
So sorry your friends got their feelings hurt. I hate to see that. But human nature being what it is there are going to be a few disagreeable and downright rude people who are so miserable in their own lives that they feel the need to make everyone else miserable too. It's sad really. Being constructive is just not in their vocabulary.
I can't imagine you offending anyone raydene, you're a doll. :)
6 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
9 Apr 07
Hey honey - well said ! I have noticed this with myself and many other good friends ever since the update mylot appeared!I have not been able to participate as fully as usual to mylot discussions due to health problems add to this that you take the time and trouble to brighten someones day if you can and your discussions get deleted with not a reason given - nor response when you ask why and it does affect your motivation for being on mylot! However the support, encouragement and friendship you can find through wonderful friends can make up for this! I feel as though I am truly blessed with the amazing friendships I have made here and I cannot imagine how lonely and bitter some people must feel to be hurtful and vindictive (luckily they are in the minority!) that I end up feeling sorry for them! If you have nothing nice or constructive to say then it is so easy to just say nothing at all! Grat post sweets - love you!
6 people like this
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Here, here! Well said my friend. I have had a decrease in the number of posts...not exactly sure as to the reason. I know that it happens frequently right before payout though, so I don't get too alarmed. Sorry about your frieds rating though and your posts. I do think we need to take into account that just because someone's opinion is different than our own, is no reason to be rude to them. We are all here to express ourselves. So lets all just get along and realize that just because someone is different doesn't make them a bad person.
5 people like this
@patgalca (18399)
• Orangeville, Ontario
9 Apr 07
Also, if someone's opinion is different from your own, that does not mean you give it a negative rating or report it. These are good solid debates that are shown from every angle with varying opinions. Don't be mean, and don't vote them negative just because you don't like their opinion.
3 people like this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
This has been something I've seen since I joined Mylot 2 months ago.
Unfortunately, the internet makes it very easy for people to be mean and nasty because of the anonimity of it all. You never know who's REALLY at the other end of the PC screen.
There are some real losers around on the internet these days and it's those that spoil it for the rest of us. I personally don't get what these people get out if trying to ruin everyone else's days. i think it's those people that need help the most.
We SHOULD be nice to people, and be positive. There's nothing wrong with being pleasant and being that way will be rewarded.
I applaud you for writing this discussions. Some people need a wake up call.
5 people like this
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I have only been here a short time and have not encountered this problems at all...but that certainly does not mean that it doesn't exist.
I think that just about any site that hosts a great number of people will get those "off the wall" individuals that make it rough on all of the rest of us.
Negative feedback may help clear things up...and i think that you did the right thing by reporting it. This should let the perpetrators know that behavior like this is and will not be tolerated. Kudos to you!!!
You seem like someone that i would like to have as a friend on my lot, so i will be sending you and invitation...hope you accept?!??!
meanwhile, i gave you a positive rating on this!!!!
6 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
9 Apr 07
I know some people will think me silly but when my rating went down today I could have cried , I have only ever given 1 person a -rating for being filthy and another for putting 4 web addys in a row and now response on my discussion , I have only had one nasty person who asked if my hubby were a dog , I always have lovely responses and even in my life I have many friends and no enemies , ( maybe that's why it hurt ) I read , rate and answer all of my responses and I do everything I can by the book , I really do not understand why people can be so horrible , are they jealous that we are all fiends , if so why don't they try and make friends they would be much happier people , I have a lot of ill family members to take care of and My lot is my relaxation ,my friends and my hobby and yes I am addicted . You ate all no1 in my book and to hell with the troublemakers , Thank you so much my friend for writing this discussion and bringing it all out into the open , I appologize because I have gone on a bit here , I just feel so strongly , xx
@raydene (9871)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Honey,I'm just so glad you got your blue back.If it's the last timg I do I'll be sure to read and rate all my friends discussions.Even when I can not think of something to write just know I have read and + rated your posts.We'll have you back to 99/100 again...xoxo
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
You see in any big group of people you are going to get people who just love to destroy it for everyone else.
Here it is called cyber bullying. I don't know if they people would have the nerve in public to say some of the things they write on line.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I agree with you and when I questioned why a decent discussion was deleted it was just about guidelines which are really suggestions. Anyway, that discussion is posted elsewhere and I have support. Managment said that the moderators that are invisible and that is wrong would not delete without good intentions. I had only one dissenter and I was not unhappy with her. There can be bad moderators and participants too so we can stay vigil and alert Management if we see the evidence. The tracing of activity on the net is really quite doable and we can stand together for what is right. Being pleasant in the process will get us far. Thanks for starting this discussion and let us support each other the best we can!
5 people like this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
9 Apr 07
If your star rating drops one thing to remember it is based on a percentage so if you have 200 points and you were to drop 5% it would only take 10 negative ratings whereas if you had 2000 points it would take 100 negatives rating so it is easier for you lose with low points. So if you have high points it would take a lot of negatives to drop you but it it also very hard to get a higher rating for the same reasons. I may be wrong but I think if one user gives another person a whole bunch of negative ratings the myLot admin will start watching the nasty person.
3 people like this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thank you so much for BR. Since I posted my response my percentage has dropped 3%...nice huh!
@raydene (9871)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I do believe I read that in their guidelines ..Unfortunately it can be after the rating has dropped that the person gets caught so to speak the damage to my friends is already done.I have gotten so I speak up if someone is mean...I say in a nice way that it wasn't nice to do.Thanks Hun...I really value your response.
@lols189 (4742)
•
10 Apr 07
aaawww ray what is going on in here? i am always polite responding to others discussions and i am polite responding back to people on my discussions. i am so sorry to hear about your friends rating and soon it will be back up again in no time. you are right why cant everyone be nice to each other? well said
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I understand your sentiment, raydene. I also have gone through all those you mentioned. There will be users who will rate me negative and tend to be argumentative. As you can see from some of my previous threads, everything are just a simple questions. Something that happened to our everyday lives. Sadly, a lot of the users tend to be abusive. I rarely rated negative unless the response is kind of rude and offensive. We really can't control this community. :)
5 people like this
@CaroleeKaufold (1853)
• United States
9 Apr 07
WOW! Did you answer a lot of my questions. I am really in a haze on MY Lot, what do I do, what can't I do? I + everyone that is kind enought to reply and discussion I read. I would want the same done to my replies and discussions. I might not give a long reply, because I don't want to bore the reader, or I am just not feeling well, but don't want to miss the chance to reply. Thanks for starting this discussion.
1 person likes this
@minki_malink (83)
• New Zealand
9 Apr 07
I have no idea whats going on there, I haven't been on this site long enough to figure that out. Don't worry about the mean people though, they'll say anything to get the attention and theres people like that no matter where you go. Most of them are either loners or little kids just having some fun.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 07
Ray I agree as I have noticed the same
A lot of People are being downgraded because we have some nasty People on here destroying them I really do not know why and what their reasons are and I have to admit I am waiting for it to affect me to soon as there are People joining and turning a lovely Site into a War Zone. Well I desperatly hope that they will not win.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Hey Gabs Angel..The good thing is that we all have each other to give and take support.When one nasty person says the wrong thing we all let them know we won't tolerate it.My friend Shell52 was so surprised at how much support we all give each other..I'm glad we have each other..
xoxoxo
@patgalca (18399)
• Orangeville, Ontario
9 Apr 07
I think the only answer is to report these people when they get nasty because there have been a lot of posts like this one, pleading people to stop voting negative just because you don't agree, stop making nasty comments, etc. They either skip right over these discussions or ignore them. The only way they are going to get the message is to report them.
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
9 Apr 07
Oh that is dreadful well so far I have not had any problems as they say touch wood, Oh this sort of thing happens all the time in regards to ratings it happened to me as well, I was on a 10 reting and have been trying to get it back to a 10 without much success. Yes you are right it is best to stay away from people being nasty if possible. Yes this is right that we don't all agree but we can answer with a different way to some of the members on here. No you have not upset me so far that you have been my friend and I hope that I have also been yours.
@joy358 (491)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
Fortunately for me I haven't yet encountered this kind of people in my two months here in myLot and I hope I never will.
I think that no matter where we are, be it on an online community or an actual community there will always be people who would like to stir up trouble by being rude to others without justifiable reason perhaps they were not taught some manners. The best thing we can do is to report these people and hope that they change or perhaps get banned from myLot as their rude and hurtful words could really harm the community.
1 person likes this
@beaniegdi (1964)
•
9 Apr 07
Try not to let this upset you or spoil your enjoyment here. like you say sometime there have been little rule breaks that account for posts being deleted and sometime what can happen is a whole discussion is deleted and if you have posted in there then you lose your posts from there. You might not even realise at the time that there was anything wrong in the discussion but it may all the same have broken a rule. You sound like a lovely person and caring so try just to enjoy everything else about the site and not to worry about people who may be mean, they won't be worrying about you so don't give them anymore of you valuable time.
1 person likes this
@kaperkitty (1097)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
You know I'm not quite sure what some people get out of being malicious? but i do know there are people out there that just enjoy being rude..For instance a person had wrote a topic a funny one about cats bringing the owners disgusting things lol i thought it was cute being a cat lover too..I of course your a silly comment back out my cat. some person who will remain nameless writes under my name i hate all cats and I'm an idiot
I'm miffed but being NICE lol i write back saying well I'm sure my cats wouldn't like you either lol.. i know this isn't a mean one like some but it just shows how insensitive people can be..i didn't negative rate him why bother. but i do positive rate always good discussions but i dislike seeing my friends and good writers being hurt or offended by people that don't have half there talent yes i said said so there lol
great discussion hon
rated a+
Cheryl
1 person likes this
