My sister is so mad at me.....
By sunshine4
@sunshine4 (8703)
United States
April 9, 2007 7:11pm CST
I run a day care and right now we are on easter break. A few weeks back my sister asked me if I would be babysitting over Easter break. I said, why, do you want Rach to come over here? Rach is her daughter. She said, no, I wanted to know if you wanted to go out of town with me and Rach. I told her that I couldn't because I was babysitting 3 days this week. Nothing else was said about it until tonight. My mom told me that Rach was coming over here this week and I was babysitting her. I told her that I hadn't planned on babysitting Thurs of Fri. My mom said I had better call my sister. I called my sister and she said, "Can Rach come over tomorrow?" I said yes but you are going to be mad at me. I told her that I thought she was going out of town this week and I am not babysitting on Thurs or Fri because I have no other kids coming so my husband took the time off work so we could do some stuff with the kids. My sisters birthday is Friday and she had planned on going to the Casinos that are in our area. She then said, "Great, I guess I won't do anything for my birthday." I was like, why don't you take her to her regular babysitter those days? She said, "I don't want her to go there." I said, "what about a teenager?" She said , "I don't know any" I was like , well maybe this would be a good time to find one. She then said forget about it and hung up on me. Now, I feel really bad. I never have time off from babysitting and I was looking forward to these 2 days. Do you think I should suck it up and watch her daughter on Fri or stick to my decision? btw...she never pays me when I watch her daughter either.
8 people like this
26 responses
@songbirdnaimh (1422)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I think it's unfair that your sister just assumed that you would watch your niece without communicating that to you ahead of time. If she had asked you a few weeks ago when you were discussing this...that would be one thing. But now it seems she wants you to drop your plans.....
That's a tough situation....I suppose you could include her daughter in your plans with your husband and kids. You have to do what feels right to you....
2 people like this
@Minesky (245)
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
Hmm. Since it is her birthday and she wants to hit the casinos :) I guess she is just trying her luck because it will be a special day.
Since you and your husband would be spending some time with your kids, it won't really hurt if you add one more? Unless you would be going somewhere that would entail that an additional headcount may be costly.
I am a sister myself, and I think it is really normal that sometimes we take for granted 'benefits' that we usually get from the other, and there is really no intention of hurting the other as well.
If cost in not a factor, I may suggest that you can take in Rach and enjoy the day with her and your own family. If it requires some money, just frankly ask her if she can just cover her daughter's headcost if it is out of your budget.
But after the fact, after that specific day, do try to talk to your sister maybe within 2 days after, and just tell her that you really care, but ask her to please give some considerations as well, specially on the timings. Yeah, heck, it was her birthday after all that day, you did not expect her to spend that without her daughter in the first place!
PLEASE, do not try to give a piece of your mind before that day!!! If she gets unlucky on hitting the casinos, she might just take it against you! hahaha
Do also evaluate the financial aspect on this matter as well, I guess, family is family, but you should also bring this to her attention, especially if the situation hurts you financially.
Enjoy! Cheers!
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
10 Apr 07
The problem with this whole thing is that I took the day off from babysitting to spend it with my family. I never have a day off from sitting. My daughter and Rach don't get along very well, they always end up argueing. I know if I watch her, it will be a very stressful day. We will just stay home if Rach comes. I am going to suck it up and give in, but I am not happy about it. My sister always does things like this to me. She just assumes because I run a day care she can drop her daughter off anytime~ even though she has her own daycare provider. Anyways, my friends, I will not be in a great mood on Friday!
1 person likes this
@Minesky (245)
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
Hi! I'm sorry to hear that your daughter and Rach do not get along well, that would really mean that this Friday is really a bust!!!
I know it is really hard to get a vacation especially if you have a business to attend to. We sometimes even term it as 'stolen time' :)
After this, I would strongly suggest that you already point your concerns with your sister. This may or may not ruin your current relationship with her, but at least she could be considerate in her 'requests' in the future. Hm, you can even assert that she has to spend quality time with her daughter, that serving meals at home is not counted as quality time.
Being kind and caring will get you to places! I am sure you will be getting soon the vacation that you desire!
Always be happy!
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Amazing how family can really play the guilt trips on a person isn't it? I think you did the right thing and you should stick with your decsision. Your sister was wrong to assume that way and also to try and change your mind once you told her you couldn't. She should have understood that you wanted some time with your family. There was no reason she could not have contacted you prior to this and asked you about it. Even offer to do an exchange of I babysit this day you this one so that way both of you could have some time off from the kids. I know it's hard but stick with your choice and maybe next time she'll think first.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
10 Apr 07
You are so right. Family really knows how to play the guilt trips! If it was someone besides family, I wouldn't give it a second thought.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
10 Apr 07
i think you should stick to your decision. your sister is taking advantage of you. i babysit a little boy at my house m-f so i know what it feels like to be in your spot. if you watch your sisters kid regularly she should be paying you. my sister and i babysit each others kids once in awhile and we dont pay each other..but if i were watching her kid while she worked through the week as i do the little boy, i would expect her to pay me something.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
I honestly wouldn't give in on this subject, regardless of whether you have a good relationship with your sister or not.
She took it for granted that you'd watch her daughter on her birthday without even checking first. I agree that you should have some time with your family, especially while your husband has taken some time off work.
I say stick to your decision. If you sister really wanted to, she could call her regular babysitter. My guess is she doesn't want to because she knows she'll have to pay for it.
Don't feel bad. She's had plenty of time to arrange this, and now because you won't do exactly as she says, she's p!ssy. She'll get over it.
Take this time with your husband and enjoy yourself. You're entitled to relax just as much as anyone else is.
1 person likes this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
10 Apr 07
What kind of a relationship do you have with your sister? If you have a good relationship, I think you're stuck watching your niece on Friday if you want to keep the peace. I'd call her & say it was your bday gift to her and that you want her to have a good time. If you're watching your niece while your sister is at work, I think she should pay you.
My sisters and I watch each others kids all the time & occasionally have sleepovers and never think twice about it. Our kids all get along & enjoy each other's company and we don't trust anyone outside of our family to be with our kids.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
10 Apr 07
We have a good relationship. The problem is my sister takes advantage of the fact that I am home with daycare all the time and expects me to take in her daughter at the drop of a hat. She has NEVER watched any of my kids! I have 4 kids and many times she knows I am looking for a sitter and she has never offered to watch them.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Keep you plans with your husband. She should have asked you if you wanted to babysit. She should not assume that you would watch her child whenever, without asking. Your plans with your husband are more important than her birthday. Can your mom watch her child? She can make her own arrangements for her child, she is not your responsibility. Your husband is......... If she is mad, Oh well, she will get over it. Don't let her make you feel guilty or obligated.
1 person likes this
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
Wow...this is very unfair and selfish of you sister to expect that you are watching her daughter. She is trying to make you feel guilty for making the decision you did..and I wouldnt stand for it. Running a daycare is hard work and sometimes draining on one self...so I say, take your two days and enjoy it with your husband and YOUR children. You need this, and your family needs this. If your sister is goign to act this way, i guess she will find another reliable babysitter for her Birthday Weekend. Dont let her make u feel bad!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
10 Apr 07
I think your sister is beeing really unfair. She assumes that u have no plans and without consulting you decides to go away and that u will babysit. that is very selfish of her.. Sure it is her birthday - but it also an oppertunity for you to spend some wualitytime with your man..
I think she needs to apologize to you - you didn´t do anything wrong!
1 person likes this
@kareng (59050)
• United States
10 Apr 07
This sounds like a great time for your sister to learn to not take advantage of you. She should not have assumed you would be babysitting. Why didn't she ask you? I would stick with my plans, after all you deserve a break to! Yes, it is her birthday and if she had made plans prior to the last minute and getting approval she wouldn't be in this situation.
Call her Friday and wish her a Happy Birthday. Maybe you could offer to babysit the following weekend for her? And have fun with YOUR family this week as planned.
1 person likes this
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
10 Apr 07
You should stick with your decision. It was your sister's decision to hit the casinos on her birthday. She can't expect her family members to take care of her kids then if they have other plans.
1 person likes this
@bonitabiloxi (127)
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
I think you should stick to your plan. It's not like you're the only person on earth who could babysit her daughter. Plus, she seems to be getting so comfy in asking you to babysit for free.
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
10 Apr 07
no stick to your plans...i ran a daycare for 25 years in my home...we never had privacy i worked all the time....your husband has already taken the time off and i'm sure your kids are looking forward to your family time so go and have fun..your sister will get over it..
1 person likes this
@countrylady28 (153)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Ya know what? If you give in then I am afraid that you are perpetuating the behavior. She's not even going to try to find another solution if you fix this for her. On my birthday I want nothing more than to spend the day with my husband and daughter. Perhaps you should tell your sister that maybe she could plan to do something with her daughter on her birthday and you'll watch Rach on Saturday or something...
1 person likes this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
10 Apr 07
well..im sorry but i think she is soo taking advantage of you..first off she was gonna make plans with you her and her daughter untill u said u had to babysit..then out of no where she assumes that you will babysit fo ryou because ou cant go out..I think that was just wrong..I wouldnt feel bad for saying no..even though its her bday,,she needs to have a secondary person to watch her daughter..she cant reply on you all the time..you need a break too..jeez! so let her be mad..she will get over it.especially when she needs a sitter again..right? just enjoy your day off..:)
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
10 Apr 07
It seems to me that your sister is taking advantage of you. I don't think you are at any fault at all here. I'm not trying to be callouse or anything, but when the two of you were talking about easter break you had already told her that you wouldn't be babysitting. You also went a step further and asked her if she wanted you to watch her daughter, to which she told you "no".
I think it's rude to just make her own plans and think you're now going to watch her daughter and on top of that not even tell you or ask you. She went trough mom instead. I understand you want to keep a good relationship and peace in the family, but your sister needs to have a backup sitter. What would happen if you got sick and wren't able to watch Rach? She may be able to stay home for a day or 2 but if you couldn't babysit for any lengthy period of time she'd have to find someone. It's not your fault that she hasn't done that. Now she's laying a guilt trip on you. I wouldn't cancel your plans. Your husband already took off of work, it would be different if you were just sitting home and he was at work. I would speak to her and tell her as nicely as possible that you're sorry about the situation but you made these plans with your hubby after you knew you weren't sitting for any kids and after you asked her if her daughter needed a sitter to which she told you "no."
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Well, I am the type of person who is a people pleaser. My husband is now going to work that day and I am watching Rach. I know that I shouldn't have caved, but I don't like to make people unhappy. My husband is taking Thurs off and we will do something with the kids that day and I will be watching Rach on Fri. Hopefully my daughter and my neice are both in good moods and get along that day.
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
10 Apr 07
You should stick to your decision! She should have made sure it was okay with you before makng plans for her birthday. It isn't your fault so don't feel bad! Enjoy the time with your husband and kids!! Maybe she will learn to speak up and make sure you are willing to watch her daughter!
1 person likes this
@wifeofharvey (1156)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I wouldn't babysit in this case. Your sister is using emotional blackmail on you, and I don't think it is ever wise t!o give into that.
But more importantly, you said you and your husband have already made plans for some family time. This is critically important to your own family, to have some times like this.
If your sister had to work or something like that would be a whole lot different than her wanting you to babysit so she can go out and play. I hope you enjoy the time with your family, you need it too!
1 person likes this
@stacy624 (2776)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
I think that you should stay strong and stick with your decision. I Think your sister should have a little more Respect for you and your situation, I know its hard and I would feel like crap but running a day care is a lot of work and time and I also think with Hubby taking some days there you need to go and enjoy together. She will get over this and hopefully she is just find someone else if its that important for her to go. I Wish you the best and hope you decide what is best for you.
Have a great day
Stacy
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