To all parents out there...Do you really know what's best for your kids?
By purplehaze
@purplehaze (661)
Philippines
April 10, 2007 8:29pm CST
Almost a week now and i am still depressed and at war with my dad. I am not implying anything bad..I love my parents very much and have respected them ever since. Just cant help thinking about this question: "Do parents really know what's best for their kids?" I mean in some ways yes,but everything? I used to believe that but now, i am doubting it. In terms of work, sometimes parents think that their kid should be a doctor for example because they "think" being a doctor would bring their kid success and wealth. But do they really know that it's the best choice for their kid? What if their kid would be much happier doing something else not as great? In terms of friends, they would refrain their kids from being friends with some people because they think these friends are bad influence. But what if these friends are the ones who your kid really likes to hang around with and they are really not bad influence?
3 people like this
9 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Parents don't know everything. I am a parent and I can say honestly I don't know everything there is to know! Your dad just wants the best for you I am sure, but you have to do what you feel makes you happy. Take for instance you know you don't want to be a doctor and taht career choice does not appeal to you. You decide you would rather be a teacher. I think as long as you are productive and honest and work hard, and above all you are happy, that is all that matters. Parents are very forgiving for the most part. At least I hope they are! As for friends, most parents find that they don't like some of their kids friends, I know I dont like some of my daughters friends, but I tell my daughter that and then I let her make her own decisions based on her own opinion.
2 people like this
@purplehaze (661)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
Thanks mamasan for your side. With regard to my friends,that's actually the thing that i cant understand about my parents. They trust me enough to make decisions about more important things in life but somehow they just judge my friends without really even knowing them. They are against my group of friends ONLY because they have different culture and our backgrounds are not the same. Sadly, you may say it is like discrimination.
@haedescanes (592)
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
Parents are not God. They are here to guide their children especially during their learning stage until they are adult. Don't get upset if they hinder you with whatt you want to do. I'm sure they are talking and guding you based on their own experience. Of course, no parent would want their child to get hurt or have a stressful and a life full of misery, problems and financially unstable. Every parent want their kids to grow and be with nice people because they are the ones being hurt if they see thier kids being hurt by others. try to understand them also. Life is a cycle, sooner or later you will become a parent an dyou would do the same thing so that your child will live normal and unharmed. Hope my message get across you. Good luck and more power! Happy posting!
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Most of the time we parents think we know what is best for our children but when they reach a certain age we need to stop make decisions for our children. Since you are 24 you should be making decisions about your friends and a career. Hopefully your parents did their job and raised you to make the smart decisions. If they did they should have enough confidence to let you go and make your own life. If your father wants you to be a Dr. and you don’t want to be a Dr. you would be a very poor one.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Apr 07
Different cultures have different traditions and values. That being said, I see that you are in the Phillipines and I am not sure how much influence your parents are to have over you. I know that in the Phillipines education is of vital importance.
In America, we do our best to obey our parents wishes, but in the end, you have to do what's best for you. Being a doctor is a big responsibility and it is not for everybody. To me, it is one of those things that you are able to do and love to do or not.
As for your friends, this is a different subject. There are times when I have had to admit that adults have been right about my choice of friends. Sometimes just because they have lived longer and experienced more, they know more. But again, you have to decide what is best for you.
@saheli (79)
• India
11 Apr 07
Hello friend,
first of all I am a parent of a son, so i want to tell you something on the parents point of view. yes i agree sometime what we think is good for our kids must not be best option for them. this happen only because of generation gap. Actually we want to see our children on the high mountains, we want them to do their best in the life.
I believe their should be good communication between children and parents, this is very important, by this way we can get their minds. so understanding each other is very important.
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I am a mother of a 20 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. No, we as parents definitely do not know everything. I do know we want what is best for our kids. If you do not want to be a doctor then you need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your parents. You need to tell them your true feelings and let them know what you want to do. I know they want you to be happy more than anything else. I hope this will help you. We parents want so much for our kids to be happy that sometimes we try to get them to do things they don't really want to do. Again, just sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your mom and dad. Don't let this break up your relationship with them.
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I wanted to let you know that since I responded to your discussion my daughter and I had that same "heart to heart" talk that I mentioned to you. It turns out she is not wanting to go into the field that we thought she did after college. I'm so thankful we had that talk because it took a load off of her mind and a load off of my mind too. She was afraid she would hurt mine and her dad's feelings but we assured her that she would not. We want her to be happy in what she does because if she isn't we know that she won't put everything she has into.
Hope you have that talk with your parents and that everything goes well for you!!
@ironstruck (2298)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
Kids need room to grow. And you can't grow if your parents are manipulating all aspects of your life.
Sure it would be nice if everyone's kids could be a professional at something.
But what if they love music? What if they have a gift for painting or some other art?
What would be better. Being an unhappy, rich doctor, or a starving artist who loved getting up every morning to his canvas? Everyone just has one chance at life. It should be up to each individual how they use the opportunity.
1 person likes this
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I truly beleive that the kids should be able to choose whatever they enjoy doing as a career. The parents and teachers job is to help the kid find that, usually by guiding them, sharing interests, if you have some in common. Forcing career paths has bad concequences. See wht he or he likes when they are 5, sometimes it changes, sometimes not. Encourage learning, growing, pursing new interests.
I would let them have whatever friends they choose, if they choose criminals I would discourage it though.
@betchai (140)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
It's important that parents and kids establish and nurture a good relationship. Parents themselves may insist that a good relationship occurs when the children recognize the sacrifices that parents have made, obey the rules, and show respect to their elders. But still, children know what is best for themselves. We should not forget that they will be the ones who will be responsible for themselves. We are only here to guide them, not dictate them. They should live by with what they feel and want. In the end, if worst comes to worst, parents are not to blame, but the children themselves. Let's give our children freedom. Being strict is not a guarantee that they would live to their best.
