How do you handle this situation ?

Sometimes, you just have to be honest. Start with the positive of how much you enjoy her as a person or neighbor and then mention that it seems lately more and more people have been borrowing, but with the rise in prices, you just can't do it anymore. If she seems to get the hint, great, if not, go one step further and say, "I am sure that you understand why I can't let you borrow things, I just hope everyone else is as understanding." Good luck !

In your place I would warn them one time...that warning would be that if they set foot in the house and look through those cupboards again you will get a restraining order. If the brother in law can't support your position then you make sure everything that YOU buy is locked somewhere in YOUR room or some other place where getting to it would required someone's breaking into it, so that it isn't available. Make it clear to your neighbors that you have nothing that you will give them. It is a severe approach but severe approaches get things rolling so that you can see what will work or wont, work faster then trying to mess around with things much longer.

I agree with what has been said so far. Tell her that you have just enough to get by and you really can't spare anything extra for other people. I've had to do that and people seemed to understand. Also, you might want to let her know that if she is not home, that she can't come in and look through your cupboards. I would suggest that you don't do it with a scolding tone. This is a frustrating situation isn't it?

First off, I'd have to say that this woman is *not* a good person, and she certainly isn't your friend. You're being suckered in the name of friendship, and it will continue until you put a stop to it. You have to make it clear to your brother in law that he isn't to let this woman in the house if you aren't there. And you have to make it clear to the woman that you're not there to provide groceries for her or the use of your oven or anything else. If you don't think you can face her directly about it, then maybe you should start borrowing from her on a regular basis, and maybe she'll catch on.

you say to them I don't have much money would bring me some meals or groceries I like you but I can't afford to be loaning things all the time please try to understand say it like that, no shame in being on a budget or running out of cash

hi! you are such a nice person to accommodate things for your neighbors however i know how hard it can be when our budget is tight and we need to stretch it and make each cent count. in telling them the situation, how about the soft truth method. it's about telling the true situation in a soft manner without meaning to be hurtful. 1) when you go to the supermarket, stop by their house and ask them if they would be needing anything for the week. offer to do a little shopping for them. tell them that you are a bit concerned should they need anything and you won't be able to lend it to them as your budget is so tight already. 2) whenever they ask for something that costs you, just tell them how willing you are to lend it to them however you also have a need for it and as your budget is tight, you'll need it back by a given time or date. ask if this works for them. 3) don't be too shy if you go knocking on their door too. smile when your neighbor opens the door and do your dialogue, "hey, i'm in need of a little help... if you would be kind enough. remember the eggs (or whatever else they borrowed before) you borrowed yesterday, i'm kinda be needing it today, would it be too much of a bother to have it back or at least lend me some too? i appreciate your help this time. see, i run out of stock and i simply can't afford to buy some more. hope you don't mind...thanks!" if telling your neighbors about your siuation in a casual manner doesn't communicate the message thru... then it's time for the hard truth. the hard truth is setting a scenario for a serious talk. start with how much you appreciate them as your neighbors... that they are wonderful people... but lately, you experienced some dificulty in cash flows and you need to tighten your belt some more and that you can no longer afford this and that (the constant borrowing of stuff that costs money). end your discussion with "i hope you would understand and i don't want to cause anything to destroy our friendship over this little things... i appreciate your time. thank you." i hope at least 1 of these 4 would be applicable in settling your concerns with your neighbor. goodluck! i hope everything will be alright. :)

my pal put a home made happy shopper (English corner shop chain)sign across her front door, that seemes to clear the scrougners. When this happened to me I started going round asking for things I needed - it works oth ways right? That seemed to work too. As for going through your cupboards when you are out and helping herself, your brother in law needs explain to that you havent said it's ok and it isn't unless you are there and you need to tell her that it's unfair to put him in a position where he feels he has to give her your things, they to make it sound like you are worried he's uncomfortable with it or something. Just try to be nice about it. How about keep telling her how skint you are or that you had a big unexpected bill or something. Personally if i found out she was going through my cupboards I'dbe fuming! Good lucksorting it out in a nice way.

Tell them the truth and say you can't afford to let her borrow things all the time and things are tight for you guys the way it is But let her know to feel free to come over and hang out or talk

That is a hard situation, unless you can get your brother in law not to open the door. The other thing would be right after they get their check, just go over and borrow back what she borrowed from you. I would just tell her when she takes something, "Well, I will be over to pick up the new one when you get paid next week. My preference, to be honest is the chicken way. Just tell the brother in law not to open the door.

This sounds funny to me. She wanted to use your oven you say? Then she wants to borrow oven cleaner? Too funny. I'd say tell her to her face you can't keep affording all the privilages your giving to her. Be nice about it if you wish to stay friends. Otherwise be to the point and don't take no for an answer. Thats all I can offer you at this time. Good luck also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

How in the world indeed? Is it that it is difficult for them to shop or are they just cheap? I would be over their asking to borrow a few bucks for gas to go out and buy the eggs to replace the ones they borrowed, as well I would advise her that she is not to go into your home unless you are there to invite her in, no exceptions, If this doesn't work wait until she makes her next visit when you are not there and go over and ask her if she took a roast or something try and look like you suspect them of some foul play, and then say I for got I cooked on Tuesday of last week, I think you are going to have to make it uncomfortable for them to come any where near your door, Do not feel bad they have done this to them selves. You are not the local grocery shop and they have to learn to fend for themselves or at least pay you for the stuff they" borrow" I would never recommend this unless you are really at you end of your rope. I am like you I hate being devious and hard.

Do you really have to ask? Tell them no. Give a man a fish you will feed him for the day. Teach him how to fish and you will feed them for life.

Hi grandmaof2. That's a tough situation. You say no, you're cast in a bad light. You say yes, you end up being in a bad situation. All of those suggestions are good ones and I can't think of any that might be helpful. I guess you'll do what you have to do that is the most comfortable you are with. Other than giving that neighbor a dose of her own medicine so to speak. Now... I wonder what would happen if indeed you will go next door and start rummaging through their things grandmaof2? Wanna try it? j/k. I feel for you. I think I would lock everything up in our house to make me feel secure. You never know grandmaof2. Please be careful. Praying that you'll resolve this soon :) Take care now.

Being on a fixed budget is difficult especially when you have neighbors borrowing things all of the time. That is certainly difficult to handle especially when you want to remain civil and friendly. Maybe she is coming over to borrow things because she doesnt know how to approach you otherwise? That seems a little far fetched, but it could be possible. If you are getting fed up with the situation, I would just sincerely let her know that while you don't mind loaning things out or giving her something to use if she needs it, you can't afford to keep doing this on a consistent basis. That is a toughie and how to word that is also needed to be handled with kid gloves. I honestly don't think she is a great person because she takes advantage of our brother in law while you are not present and goes rummaging through your cabinets instead of being polite and saying that she would come back at a better time, like when you are home. I would address that more solidly and let her know that if you are not home, that you would appreciate it if she waited to come over. I hope this works out easily for you. I hate these kinds of situations, LOL. They are frustrating and hard to deal with.

tell her as much as you like her and would like to help her that you just cannot afford it. If you give it to her then you won't have any and you will have to go and get stuff from her. So before that happens you would rather stop it now.

You should be honest and tell them that you live on a very fixed budget. You don't have to shout at them or anything because they will really be hurt if you do. Sometimes old people are too weak to go to the grocery store everything they need something, maybe you could suggest for them to make a list of what they lack and you could include the items in your grocery list but they have to pay for the items of course. I hope I helped.

You may be ASSUMING that they don't have financial problems. Living on a pension IS LIVING on a fixed budget! And over the years, with inflation their pension might not be what it used to be, and it might be running short. Most people live longer than pensions were designed for. So don't assume they are better off than you. Instead, make it clear that money is tight for you, and you have a hard enough time paying your bills and feeding your family. That you'd be happy to help them in other ways, like yard work, or something of that sort, but you can't afford to ncrease your on utility bills by letting others use your stove, and you can't spare any more food. Then have a talk with your brother in law about letting people in the house when he is home alone. They shouldn't be able to walk in and take advantage of him and take anything they want. Doors should also be locked so neighbors can't let themselves in.

I had a neighbor like that once and I just told her that I appreciated her friendship but I just couldn't afford to lend her things anymore. The friendship ended but I saved a lot of money in the long run.

There is a very simple answer to that. the next time the neighbors will come over, asking for something, you should tell them, what a coincidence, i was about to ask you the same question. after you will use this method a few times, they will surely understand, that they have to look for another address to turn to, when they need something. and the address is the grocery shop!

I guess you need to be honest, you can tell her your predicaments in the nicest way possible. Try to give her some hints that you are not anymore happy with some people who tend to constantly borrow stuffs from you, to the extent that they seem to depend on you for some of their daily needs. And I hope she would understand that you can't give what you don't have anymore. The cost of living nowadays is soaring high, so she has to understand that though you wanted to help her out, you have to bear in mind that you have first to satisfy your own family. Godbless!