Virginia Tech Shooter-Where is the sympathy for his family?

Okay, I can see your perspective on Cho's family being victims. When put in that light, I can concede. However, with Cho, he made an active choice to do what he did. He pulled the trigger. He decided not to get help, even when it was offered to him. He decided not to follow the courts ruling for mandated therapy. He made all these decisions on his own and created a lot of grief. Being lonely is no excuse, there is no excuse possible for his behavior. I get lonely too, I am not going to go on a rampage and murder innocent people. I get depressed, I suffer depression, I choose to seek help. I am really not trying to argue, I just want to express my view on the subject. I respect yours even though I don't fully agree. Please don't take this post the wrong way and know that I am just stating my own opinion.

oh, no, I am not going to take this post the wrong way or even personally. I just wanted to state my view point in a way that made it better able to be understood. I respect your opinion even if I dont agree 100% with it.

I don't know what you mean by "go ahead if you want to add fuel to a bunch of hate groups". Other than that, I understand that it is hard to ask anyone to have compassion for Cho's family, but healing starts with forgiveness. His family is not to blame for anything. I am just sadden by the fact that no one seems to remember that they lost a child too. Whatever his actions, they still lost their child and that has to be so unbelievably painful. In addition to that, they have to live with the pain of knowing what their son did. Haven't they been punished enough?

I don't know what you mean by "go ahead if you want to add fuel to a bunch of hate groups". That's my fault, I didn't mean as you, yourself going out and ringing a bell for this man. With all these hate groups, or people in this country wanting something to blame just to say and do horrible things. If they rung the bell for the killer, or anything to show that we care could easily get those hate groups going. I don't want to start anything, but for example the man that was beaten in California that started the riots. I pray that nothing like this happens. As my mom always told me Two wrongs don't make a right.

I sympathise with them as a mother. The loss of your child, no matter the reason, is devasting. I feel compassion for them as a Christian who was raised to love my fellow man. I feel for their pain as they have to deal with not only the loss of their child, but the knowledge that their child chose to commit a horrible crime. I feel for their daughter who has lost her brother, someone she loved dearly. I feel for their daughter as she will go through the rest of her life always wondering if she could have done something to stop this from happening. I feel for their pain that they have to live with the knowledge that people are blaming for the choices that their son made. I also feel for Cho. I think it is a horrible and sad thing that this young man felt so alone, frustrated and different. I feel badly that he couldn't see when people were trying to reach out to him. I feel bad that he was so deep into a pit of despair that he could not see any other way out. I feel terrible that he was so angry at the world and how he saw himself as being treated that he felt the need to take 32 people from this world. I don't know how they raise kids in India, but in America we try our best to raise good citizens, but once they leave our homes and go out on their own, we cannot control their thoughts, their feelings or even choices. To infer that the parents are to blame for the choices their children make is just wrong. No one can control you but yourself.

And that is ok. You are entitled to your feelings and opinions. They are valid. I just have my own feelings and opinions that just happen to be different from yours. I am open minded enough to realize that not everybody is going to think like I do and that isn't a bad thing. I welcome the opportunity to see how others feel about this issue. Also, by responding to these postings, it allows me to talk things out and see the picture more clearly for myself. I really appreciate your thoughts on this matter. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

It is sad that no one thinks about Cho's family other than to place the blame on them. They are innocent. If it was my child who had done something like this, I would be horrified, grief stricken, shocked. There aren't enough words to describe how I would feel. All the mixed emotions. It is just sad.

Thank you for your thoughts. I knew when I posted this topic that some people might not like it. But I have sympathy for his family. His sister loved him. His mother and father loved him. Having dealt with depression myself, I know how loney and frustrated a person can get. I too have been a loner and felt like I was a misfit. I think maybe he was severly depressed and no one noticed. It isn't uncommon for families not to notice the signs of depression, especially when your child has always been a quiet, loner type. I feel badly that many times when things like this happen, the parents are blamed for not noticing or not caring. They did the best they could and it was Cho's decision to commit this crime. I have been praying for his family ever since the incident.

I feel really bad for his family. I just want people to realize that his family was a victim too. Cho didn't just ruin the lives of 32 families, he ruined the lives of his own family too.

I don't believe that anyone really wanted to help Cho. It was easier to say "he needs help so I will point him in the right direction, but I don't really want to get involved". I have seen first hand how mental illness can affect someone. I was in that pit of mental illness myself for a while until I was able to find my way back into the light, so to speak. The young man came to the US when he was 8 years old. He was made fun of, teased and taunted as a child by his classmates for being different. I know how that feels. Only in this case, the child that Cho was became very quiet and withdrawn. If he didn't talk or notice to himself, no one would make fun of him. Years later, this young man who has no social skills to speak of, goes away to college. This young man has no idea how to make friends, how to be a friend, etc. His suitemates have said that they invited him out with them, they tried to befriend him but he pushed them away. It was easier to just ignore him rather than to continue trying. Everyone appears to have been this way. His teachers saw a problem and they did only what was required of them, but nothing more.

I can almost understand the feelings of the majority of people regarding the shooter and his famiy, but it still seem wrong to me. I guess I just have too much compassion in me. I just cannot find it in myself to hold his family responsible for what Cho did. I also just cannot find it in my heart to be angry at Cho. I feel sad that he was so troubled and alone. I feel more pity for him than anything else. I just pray that God has mercy on him.