Could you letyour child?

WEll if it were up to me he would remain with his dad. It is plain to see that he is fjourishing and making great strides in his life with his dad. To bad u didnt live here where i do in Canada NOva Scotia kids do get there say in these things as of the age of 13 and they can even choose not to even visit with the other parent let alone have to reside with them against their will. How can they think making him go to his moms against his will well do him any good he will rebel and lose all the hard work he and his dad put in his life and that is a real shame. I know it is hard but tell you brother not to give up til the bitter end. This is so sad to hear about i will remember you guys in my prayers ok.

i thought after 13 the children r allowed to choose who they want to be with, maybe u should take it to an appellate judge, because my uncle got custody of his 14 and 16 yr. old but the 9 yr. old went with the mom b/c she wasn't old enough to decide 4 herself.

I don't know what I would do in this situation. I mean, maybe the mother has changed and wants another chance? I still think the child should remain with his father, just because he does have a lot going on for him and it is for the better. Maybe the mother can let him remain and maybe they can work on something else where the child and mother can restore their love for one another and maybe work things out. Both parents have a right to this child. ANd as hard as it may be to let him remain, I think the mother should let him remain for now.

As a mother it would be the hardest thing to let your child live with his father. Mothers want to be the primary care giver and want to have their children around them. Mothers also should want what is best for their children. It sounds like your nephew has a wonderful opportunity that shouldn't be missed. I hope that his mother decides to do what is best for him, not her and let him remain with his father.

Your nephew has accomplished so much over the past year....while this reflects "greatly" on him....it also speaks volumes on his father and the "home life" he has while he is living at his Dad's. I think we all know mothers or fathers like the mother you are describing here. It makes me sick! I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt as a mother myself, but I am having difficulty doing that in this case.. Is there not a way that the parents could sit down with the son and work out a way for him; to see his mother, take the summer job, plus go to Washington DC?? I, myself, had to work things out with my husband's ex-wife many times before we got custody of him....it was not fun for any of us....and many times I got so mad I could not see straight.....BUT I always went back...it was the best thing for the child.... I would say that your brother needs to try to talk to her....the courts are not doing any good....dragging their feet....In my case, I ended up dealing with her...they (my husband and his ex-wife) just could not communicate and accomplish anything constructive...so I did it...it was important to our son.....so it was important to me....has your brother remarried?....can she help in this situation??? I hope that this all works out for the best...it really upsets me when the children's wants and desires are pushed aside. It sounds like this young man will survive and remain strong either way...I think that his father is providing him with the best basics for becoming a strong, responsible, hard working adult.....I do not think it is fair that his hard work goes unrewarded! Maybe you should email this discussion to his mother...LOL I truly hope that this situation can be worked out for your nephew's sake...I know that this brings you under alot of stress, as well, my friend! Please take care and have a blessed day!

I would let the child decide, I think at fourteen he is quite old enough. I would also encourage him to stay given all the opportunities he has before him where he's at.

Well it sounds like he would be missing out on a lot of opportunities by not living with his father...so I would say he should. It sounds like there are issues there with his mother...that are not being resolved...so that may have to be addresses soon...however it sounds like this young man is on the right course and doing some excellent work...so why should he not continue?

She should put their needs first and if he is going to miss out on great opportunities she needs to let him stay with his dad. Sounds like he is doing very well where he is. As much as it would kill me to let mine live with their dad if it was in their best interests I would do it. What is wrong with some of these judges. I hope everything works out for your nephew.

If that's what he wants and if he's happy with his father, why not? It would only make me feel guilty if I rob him of his happiness. I will show him my love in other ways rather than by forcing him to live with me.

wow, this is a real tough one. I always like to think that I would always do the best by my children, so if living with their dad was the best for them then I would do it. However in reality I think I would do anything I could to keep them living with me, I love having them around and am convinced that they can have a better life with me here than with their dad. I think in that situation I would move so he could carry on at school and with the job etc, but still live with me, that way he could have the best of both worlds, and be near to both parents.

I would allow my child to remain with his father. What you need to understand is that it takes more than having a baby to be a mother. You have to be willing to put your own feelings aside and do what is best for your child.

I would allow my child to live with his father if he had worked hard for something and it would only be available to him while living there. The only reason I can see to say no is if the son is not in a safe environment with the father. It is hard to say when you don't know all of the facts.

This is a tough one. Viewing a mother’s side, it would be really tough to be separated from your child and maybe, she had changed that’s why she wants to have a chance to prove it, however, given the situation, if the child really wants to stay with the father, then she should let him. Maybe your nephew should reason some more with his mom. Try to take the soft and cuddly approach rather than be rebellious about it, I mean, get it touch with his mother’s maternal instincts. He should sit down with his mom and tell her wholeheartedly that the situation is really hard for him that if he was really given the chance to choose, he would want his whole family to be back together again but since that won’t happen, that since he had already grown accustomed to his life here, it would be best for him to stay there. Let’s face, it, even the hardest and harshest of women can give in to a good reasonable talk.

Well that doesn't seem fair. The boy is 14 he should get to decide where he wants to live. I know here in Ontario a child can decide at the age of 12 I think on which parent they want to live with. The mother should show her love by letting her son live with his father where he will be happy. As much as i love my daughter and would never want her to live with anyone else, if she was at that age and it would truly make her happy and I knew she would be safe and looked after i would let her because i love her and her happiness is my happiness.

That is a no brainer. I would allow him to stay with his father. What kind of mother denies her son the opportunities that are being offered? I would never want to stand in the way of my son's success. To do that is just selfish. I would want the very best for my son and an opportunity to go to Washington for a month is awesome and most likely once in a lifetime. I think that his mother should let him stay with his father so that he can partake of these opportunities. They may not come again.

I think the best interest of the child should always be #1. Your nephew has worked extremely hard for his rewards and should be able to enjoy them. These experiences will mean alot to him and he will always remember them.

Any self respecting mother would put her childs wants and needs before her own. She can always spend time with him at a later date. A fourteen year old boy needs his father. Why should he lose out on everything he has worked so hard. It wouldn't be right, he will lose all faith in everything. I hope that she is able to realize what she will be doing if she doesn't allow him to stay.