Is there Life after Marriage and Children?

I can relate. After I got married, I had the most difficult time taking his last name. I no longer knew who I was. Overnight I became someones wife, a step mother, and lost my last name. I suddenly was sharing everything in my house with 2 other people who I love dearly, but they are now in my space and asking me to dump or move my things. Yes, there is life after marriage and children, but it is up to us as women to forge a new direction and make it happen. Men become complacent and don't recongnize the same things as women. Men get married and think nothing of leaving for 18 rounds of golf, but a woman feels guilty taking 2 hours to get her hair done. My best suggestion is to take a class, start a hobby or get involved with a community group that you find appealing to you! Force yourself to have at least one evening to yourself. Make time to go out to dinner with a girlfriend. When you are happier with your life and yourself, it will reflect back in your marriage and children. Good Luck!

Nice discussion -rated:-) I have allways asked most of the women why they are satisfied to be just somebody`s wife or mum.Most of them are even PROUD. And when a man introduces his wife -he tells : My wife. Never: this is Jane, my wife. It shows that theese women dont respect themselves enough, they are just somebody`s half part, other I...It`s a pity:-(

No, i don't agree to that. There's still life and much more purpose in life when you get married. I love whatever name they will call me. But i say, along the way you will encounter problems, a lot of problems. And for me these are just parts and parcels in a marriage life. It just depends on how you handle the situation.

My kids are all grown up and I have no marriage. So yes there is life after marriage and children. Most people know me as snow. So I made my own identity. lol I love being free again though I can do whatever i want when i want too. Now all I need is some money lol.

What you feel now is just normal. My wife used to work with me in the same company, Texas Instruments (that's where we met) for 14 years as a lead girl, assistant of the supervisor. We're having a hard time looking for a maid when we have 3 kids already. So my father-in-law stayed with us for 8 yrs. Since my father-in-law was getting old already, we decided that he needs to enjoy his life also with my mother-in-law. And for this my wife resigned. During the first 2 months of being a plain housewife she admitted that it was really hard for she was used in working 7 days a week. Is like the time was so long, doing all the chores at home and yet nobody to talk to for our kids are all studying. When I went home from work, she was so angry to me for I did not call her up asking if she was okey. So from then on, I'm calling her up. When I have my rest day, or when my wife is going to visit my in-laws my wife is letting me do some of the chores and I realized that staying at home alone doing all the stuffs is really hard. Just wondering how she can do/manage all of it, from doing the chores, helping the kids with their projects and lessons and of course me. You'll overcome that too, sooner or later.

i understand how you feel.. in fact.. it's not only you that been complaining about it.. i think many ladies too complained about this.. well.. i think i've found a solution.. but many will disagree with me.. what i will do is when i get married.. i'll give my wife to choose whether she wants her name or she wants other to address her according to my name.. i think women should have their right to choose their own name.. do you agree? and ..there's always life after marriage and children..life of a women usually begin after marriage.. don't you feel so?

Don't think of it as a loss of your life but a different stage of your life. Right now your most important role is mom. Wear that name tag with pride! Who cares if you're known as "Janes mom" or "Beth" when you're being honored with praise. And when they're talking about you bad.. let them NOT call you by name! LOL It's a matter of changing your view of it all. You are very individual, there is no-one else who can be called "Jack's mom" except you. Wear it with pride.

Yes there is life after marriage and children. I'm sorry you feel like you lost you individuality, maybe you should talk to your husband about having some time for yourself. After I gave birth to my son I stopped going out with my friends but my husband insisted that I go out with them at least once a month because if I don't I might lose my individuality and he doesn't want that for me. Allot some time for yourself, go to a beauty parlor, a spa or just take a couple of hour walk in the mall or park with your friends.

When me and my husband first got married I used to think this too. I felt like I was trapped and stuck but now things are so much better. Me and him would make sure we make time for each other and special time for ourselves without kids or the other half. We also make family time. It is hard but we do need this extra time. I think it will get better.

I think that is a normal feeling, I used to feel that way. I don't know if I've just gotten used to it or it is better now that my kids are almost all grown up.

I think that we all feel that way at sometime or another but just remeber that you are a mom and wife and that that is the new you. You have the most important role you keep the the family together. So dont feel like youve lost you. Even though they may not say it much I am sure that your family loves and appreciates all that you do for them.

Well its true that u loose ur identity after marriage and cbecome someone 's wife ,mom....but i feel that one should enjoy that feeling and keep on doing ur best and this is a part of life....

why such a question i dont understand i think after marriage or after children there is life why can u enjoy those time which u can be in i dont think its bad or worst time after those days

Once you have decided to get marry, you are preparing to lose your individuality. "two people, one life", that's marriage.

im not a mum yet but i have spokenn to a lot of ladies that are, and they say exactly the same thing, i think when your kids are older and your older you tend to start going back to doing your own things and have your name back lol

I think that a lot of women feel this at least once in their life. I know that I have. One of the things that I try to make sure of in my life is that I keep my hobbies and things that I love. My husband and I both make sure that we get alone time to do the things that we like. Then I get to be a designer, a quilter, a bookworm, a writer, a hiker, a gamer, and all sorts of other things along with wife and mom. Take some time for you and to get to know who you are and what you like. It will help to center you and the feeling indivuality will come back. It's a hard thing to go through so I offer you lots of hugs and luck.

LOL....Its seems like that dosnt it. It does get better. Im just plodding along at the moment. Thanks for the laugh.

I feel for you too. Now with the question in mind, i have 2 kids and i adore them and i make sure to provide them with ahat they need, they are still very small and needs so much attention and caring. With the family still young and with work im always out of time for myself. It makes me sad and sometimes i miss my oldself where im free and relaxed and can do things on my own. But i still have my own identity even if i am married now i refuse to be in the shadow of my husband. I plan to go out often and arrange free time for myself in later months, just now i still enjoy my life as a mom, a wife and me.

Hard situation... You feel like you lost your individuality? Try talking to your husband, see if he feels the same. Maybe it is true, you are losing your individuality. But there's always a way to turn the game and bring your identity back! As I said before, my advice is that you talk to your husband and see if he feels the same way you do.

No its not just your case.Its a ritual.Women lost herself after getting married.I sometimes thinks this too there's no life for women even if they are married or non married.They always are bound for some relationship and in those relationships there are so many limits that she has to obey.Before marriage you have to take care of you parents listen to them what they are sayin and after marriage hubby children etc.etc.Its like women are made for serve others in every way.Not for herself she has to live for others she has no life of her at own.Its not only You as i am married too i feel same sometimes.Its drives me insane sometime but its truth and reality Very bitter one we do not have life of our own.