I had to have an abortion...
By Marie2473
@Marie2473 (8512)
Sweden
May 12, 2007 4:57am CST
So the pain in my stomch did not go away yesterday, infact it only got worse and evetually I could not even stand up straight.
My bf rusched me to the hospital where thet immidiately took care of me. They had an emergency ultrasound done on me wich showed something that I had never heard of. The baby was growing outside the womb... I looked it up on the internet just now and learned that it is called "ectopic pregnancy".
The doctor explained to me that I had to have an abortion straight away since this can be fatal for me. If the baby keeps growing there it will squash the organs in my body, and the baby also have no chanse of surviving there - it will definately lead to a miscarriage.
I was so upset and I asked if there was no other way but he just shook his head.
An hour later I was in surgery and 4 hours later I was allowed to go home.
Once i got home i did nothing but cry and I think I really scared my bf who really never saw me like that. He tried everuthing, even assured me that we will try again soon and that we will have a baby eventually.
I just keep thinking what i said about not beeing ready and that I was scared, now instead I just feel so empty and drained. I have no idea how I will get through this.. I am just soooo sad right now.
I have not slept since I got back from the hospital 6n hours ago and i doubt that I will be able to, maybe now I can take a sleeping pill or something.
Obviously this condition is something that also can occur if you get pregnant while using deposhot... Wish someone would have told me that before...
Over and out...
18 people like this
44 responses
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
12 May 07
I had to abort twice as foetus was not healthy. I know the pain is heartbreaking(not physical pain). Mother Theresa was expired on the day,my child was aborted. Mother Theresa pleaded the world, not to abort, and offered to take care of every abandoned child. I cannot forget that day forever.
6 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Thanx alot for your concern. i have managed to get atleast an hour of sleep now, and I hope that i will be able to get some more later. I am sure that i will be able to "get over it" the sad thing is that I was so happy about beeing pregnant.
3 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
12 May 07
i am so sorry to hear about your case. i have heard of ectopic pregnancy which is really dangerous to the mom. and the only choice to save the mom is through doing abortion. if not, eventually, a mom will still lose the kid due to miscarriage.
and i am happy to know that your boyfriend is so supportive of you. you need his care and love. and he's there for you as always. and as he promised you, you both will have another baby again. and hopefully, everything's gonna be right this time.
just take care of yourself. rest and relax. and time will be nice for you as always.
you take care.. and i miss you a lot!
4 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
12 May 07
well, i say, we both are lucky to have great men in our lives. and soon, i'll be in sweden! yehey. plus, you take really good care of yourself! you need to!
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Thanx alot. Always manage to chear me up =)
I am sad but during the day I have tried to see it fr what it is. It just wasnt ment to be and I had no choise unless I wanted to kill us both.
I am really blessed to have a wonderful man by my side.
2 people like this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
12 May 07
I am SO sorry to hear this hon :o(
I have a friend who has had 2 ectopic pregnancies and she said it's not something she would wish on anyone else.
I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that this could happen when you get pregnant while using Deposhot. I thought it was more something that could happen with any pregnancy.
Please know that I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Take the time you need to try and recover from this, and don't do anything before you're ready to.
Take care.
4 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
I had never even heard about this thing so it definately was a shock for me, and the pain I can not even describe, just like your friend. that Is something I would not wish anyone...
2 people like this
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
12 May 07
Yes, I have heard of ectopic's, where the baby is in the tubes. I am so sorry. I have heard they are extremely painful, I am glad you went to the hospital. I hope you are feeling a little better. I had a miscarriage (not the same, I know) and had to have a D&E as well. It was a very sad time for me. I have heard that can happen with the depo shot, so just be careful. ((hugs)) to you and your bf.
4 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Thanx. Yes, the pain was horrible and I knew that when it got worse and worse something was not right. The doctor also said that it was good that I came in when I did, coz it can be really dangerous
4 people like this
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
13 May 07
Yeah, it can be life threatining if not treated, thank god you went in. i'm happy they figured out what it was so fast.
((hugs))
2 people like this
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
12 May 07
Marie, your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so very sorry that you had to go through this. I had no idea that the deposhot could make the risk of an ectopic pregnancy higher. There are so many things I've learned here at myLot in the last 7 months. I also wish you had been told beforehand, and you should discuss that with the doctor who gave you the shots. They really should discuss the possible side effects with us beforehand. Take care of yourself, my friend, and be thankful that you found out what was wrong and were able to take care of it without risking your life.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
14 May 07
I will have this discussion next time i see my doctor, coz I also had no idea.
I am hanging in there and are trying to stay focused on other things than thinking.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
12 May 07
i'm so sorry to hear about what happen to you... please cheer up and be strong... i know the feeling of losing a foetus even though it is not born yet... i'm sure you will get pregnant again soon and hopefully you will have a successful one next time... i pray for you... please take care now and get some sleep... you needed it after the operation... take care and God Bless you...
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
I have managed to get some sleep now and I will hopefully get some more later. My bf is out shopping and he is gonna make me something to eat (my favourite) after that we will stay in and just cuddle - I am sure i will fall asleep then..
2 people like this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
12 May 07
Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. I just want to give you a great big hug. I am crying with you. It will be hard but you will get through this. I sort of know what you are going through as I had a miscarriage. I know its not the same thing but its still a loss. Please don't blame yourself like I did. Etopic pregnancies happen more than you think. But even though its hard right now, you really need to get some rest.
4 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
I had never even heard about this thing, i didnt know that it even existed but the doctor says that oit is getting pretty common and that it was a good thing that i came in when i did. The pain was undescribable and I was on the edge of going crazy,,
I am really upset and I am sure that I will be for a while, I still havent managed to get some sleep. I just sit here infromt of my laptop, not doing anything really.
3 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
12 May 07
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, marie. Ectopic pregnancy was actually the first one to enter my mind when I last read your thread. Don't think about it too much. Maybe, it is not yet the right time for you to have a baby. I'm at a lost of a good word to comfort you. I do hope you will take good care of yourself. You will still have many blessings.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Thanx sweetie. I am sure that I will get over it eventuallym, it sure helps to have alot of friends and people supporting me.
2 people like this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
12 May 07
Oh Im really sorry to hear that... Im a mother of two and I understand how you feel... but ther doctor is right... you cannot do anything to save the baby... The baby is outside the womb... It will endanger your life... I guess the baby is not yours... just have this in your mind... the thought that you want to save the baby... made your baby felt love the best way he'she could be love.. In time... you will have him back again... im pretty sure that he/she will be proud of having you as mother for the second time around...
Keep on living my dear... Goodluck and God Bless
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
If there was anything I could have done then I would have done it, but the doctor said that nature had done its work already. The thing that gets to me the most is that before i tested positive i actually was scared and didnt know if I even wanted a kid, thne I tested positive and I was sooooo happy and so was my bf, and now we are back to zero, minus 10 =(
3 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
12 May 07
I'm so sorry Marie. :*(
It's weird that your doctor never told you about the possibility of having an ectopic pregnancy before going on the depo. I had never been on any type of birth control, but I had learned about this possibility after wanting to go on birth control. First I was planning to get my tubes tied once I gave birth to my first son, but changed my mind at the last minute in case my husband and I ever wanted to have more kids. Then I was offered the option of an IUD. But with both of these birth control methods, as well as other methods, there IS that chance of having an ectopic pregnancy. This is one of the reasons why I stay away from birth control...
Losing a baby is so hard. Even if it hasn't had a chance to live outside the womb. I know. I had a miscarriage after only being a month or so pregnant. That was back in December 2005, and it still makes me sad that this baby didn't get a chance at life. :*(
Again, I am sorry Marie. Try to take it easy and get some rest.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Yeah, I also asked this doctor and he saíd that the depo can higher the risk of this, but the doctor who is giving it to me hasnt said a word, I will bring this up with her for sure, coz I do not wanna go through this again and when things settle down i am considering going off all borthcontroll and try to get pregnant again and hope that it works out.
I will rest for sure, I have called in sick for atleast the 3 first days of next week, I need to try and find myself again.
3 people like this
@sramsey150 (162)
• United States
12 May 07
I'm sorry you had to go through that I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I haven't ever had to experience that but i went to highschool with girls who have had them done and i just thought it was awful to have it done because they didn't want it or the guys didn't want it,but your case is different if it can't be helped then I'm all for abortion ,but if people do it cause it want fit into their lifes plan at that time then i think its selfish. I hope you feel better soon and that maybe when the time is right for you God will bless you with another opportunity to have another child.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Yeah, I really wanted this baby and i would have never aborted it if there was another way =(
1 person likes this
@sramsey150 (162)
• United States
12 May 07
It will workout for you don't worry. Maybe its God's way of giving you a chance to get everything in order when ever your ready to have another one its going to be ok.
2 people like this
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
13 May 07
I know about ectopic pregnancies, My best friend had one, she went to Hospital and they told her to rest(gestation 7 weeks) and hope that is would move down and it did a week later. Otherwise she would have had to abort too... There are a few causes for this to occur my friend was because she has scaring from having her appendix being taken out and that caused it to get stuck, and once it was fertilised it stayed there... She was Lucky...
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and I wish you all the Best and hope you feel better soon....
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
12 May 07
Hi Marie Im so sorry that happened. I do know the feeling I had the same thing years ago. I will get better I promise you. Keep the faith and you will soon have another baby that will be healthy and you too will be healthy. Never give up. Just remember its a good thing they found out what was wrong. Be thankfull for that. Take Care and huggs to you
3 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
12 May 07
Warm cyber hugs mari. I wish I could reach through the monitor and give you a real hug, but the cyber hug will have to do. Please allow yourself to grieve. This is a loss for you, just as if someone had lost a child in any other way. Don't feel badly that you are sad. However, do try to stay nourished and rested as your body needs to heal physically. Lean on friends in your time of loss and healing.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
I have cried and cried and cried. Had no idea that there could be this much tears in my body.. I do however feel better when I am activated, and I amm trying to keep myself activated by doing stuff, such as mylot. My bf is out shopping now, he will prepare myn favourite food coz he is nervous that I will stop eating.. However I do feel hungry..
Thanx for your reply and the hug sure helps, cyberhug or not.
2 people like this
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
13 May 07
When I got pregnant with my son I began to bleed. I was having a few pains but nothing I thought serious. They rushed me into the doctors office thinking I may have an eptopic pregnancy. It was terrifing for me. It turned out to be a normal pregnancy except my body was taking it hard. I wasnt on any kind of birth control and they still thought I might have a tubal pregnancy so It must be more common then we think.
Im so sorry you went through this. I know there is nothing we can say to help you feel better. Only time will ease the pain, For what it is worth we are all here for you and it will help to talk it out. Sorry again.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
12 May 07
I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to greive as it is truly a loss in every sense of the word. I know other women who have had this happen and, if it's any consolation at all, they went on to have healthy pregnancies thereafter. Just take some time to rest and take care of yourself now.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
12 May 07
Thanx, That wa my biggest worry, that this will damage so that i can not have children but the doctor eased me that way. Thanx for your reply!
1 person likes this
@2blessings (30)
• United States
13 May 07
I am so sorry for what happened to you. It will get better with time- I promise. I say that to you because I have had 3 miscarriages and had to abort two of my pregnancies. I remember how devistating it is to hear when the doctor tells you what is wrong. Don't give up hope. You never quite forget the pain but it does get better. Take it day by day and try to think of the good things in your life. It sounds like you have good support and that means so much.
3 people like this
