I am officially on strike

It must be something in the air cause I am going through the same problem with my guy. Not that he doesn't hel with the housework, I have never asked him to, it is that he expects too much from me and demands too much from me and now to contend with matters we have these 8 puppies (used to be 9, until one ran away yesterday) that are 13 weeks old today and we still are not closer to get rid of them than if they were 2 years old. I am frustrated, disgusted and don't even want to be in this house. So I stand next to you today and say, down with men.

My first question is that since you haven't had your monthly since January, have you checked to see if you are pregnant? Only as a health concern do I ask. As for going on strike, I did that once, but it backfired on me. The house got so dirty that I couldn't stand it and ended up cleaning even longer than normal to get it back in order. I hope things work out for you. I have the same problems at my house sometimes. I don't work outside the home and my hubby thinks that means he never has to do anything around the house. He thinks I should be able to do it all. I just left him alone with our son once with a list of everything that I do on a daily basis. After that day, he started helping out more and asks me how I get it done. The poor guy ended up exhausted, injured and didn't get most of the list done.

oh my you are in a dither. MEN! My Daughter has to do a set down at times as her hubby thinks that he dosent have to help inthe house and yard work for him is mowing the lawn every so often! If he dont do a load of washing she leaves his for him to do he has got up with no clean clothes to wear and trys to wash aload and dry before he goes to work at 2 in the morning! And he think that he has no other chores to do if he watches grand daughter says he has no time for anything else I wonder how he figurs I do dishes and cook when I have her.!

Why do so many men think money is the only thing they need to contribute to the family? When I was a paratrooper, I was gone a lot. After returning home again one time, I started feeling like I was just a visitor. I asked my wife... "where do I fit in this family?" She answered, "you don't anymore." So we sat down and came up with some "chores" that would be my responsibility when I was home. Before long, I didn't feel like a visitor anymore. Your husband is robbing himself of a lot of what it means to be part of a family.

Cool down soccermom. First of all, you are not alone having this problem. Men think that it is a woman job, so they put everything on women's shoulder. Honestly, I am in the same shoe as you are. Take a break. Go and do some shopping with your friends or go for a holiday, only you alone. When you come back, you energy will be charged, your mind will be cleared and you will be able to do your housework without any pressure. I did that every now and then or otherwise I'll go crazy.

I am right up there with you. I have been for a year! Ok maybe not that long. We are in therapy for a while now and the teharpist reccomended us reading a book called the 'The five love languages' by gary Chapman. It talks about how to communicate your needs to one another during times like this. I am not saying it did or didn't fix us, but it is a good eye opener and brsin hummer. It could work. I see your last comment hints maybe pregnancy? Congrats if so. Even more added stress and hormones too right? And this is a good awakening to some men. But sadly some still don't get the clue. I hope yours does and your day picks up a little.

Hi Soccermom, How is your day, you sound like you have had a very hard time of things, I know you may not think have the money or feel you should,but I have a couple of suggestions, 1 is hire a maid how much can it be ? at $10 an hour or what ever, go to the hair dresser and enjoy your self a little, nurure yourself, then hire a sitter, call the sister or the mom and go out once a week on a regular basis better still get the kids to have a sleep over at Grandmas and have a lovely time and enjoy your home with your husband, and do you realy need your husband to help or just stop winging? tell him, to stop whining, and you stop whining at him, I think he does appreciate you , perhaps you just don't see it, does he take his shoes off when he comes in ? Why? does he leave stuff every where? No Why? look around you, watch him see how he appricates you...when he comes home and you have settled the kids with dad in the lounge, leave the room quietly and have a nice bath, put on some music, enjoy your time, don't tell him what you are doing, just do it.I have found if you just expect something from some one as if it is there job they will do it, Then if you come out and he hasn't put the children to bed say oh I was so looking forward to spending time with you, but I will be tired out now after the lovely hot refreashing bath, so I will put them to bed and I will be going to bed to so good night, don't reward bad behaivour,reward good behaviour...If he is acting as a child your got it made, what do you do to get your kids to do as they are asked ?...Do you reason with them? argue with them? Bribe them? what does he do to get the children to do as they are asked? if he uses it he is assuming it works because it works for him, copy him...watch him..go about your busness like he doesn't matter for a while..have a day out once a week with your friends, live your life, be a free spirit..act as you are, after all that is who he loves and married..good luck god bless ya. Love your self, and dont look for his aproval or assistance..expect it and just leave what you don't want to do, if he doenst like it, he will do 3 things leave it for you to do. which is what I told you to do, or do it himself, or fight with you about it..don't be drawn into an arguement about who does this or that, ask him can you pick it up please I am busy...If he says thats your job,dont argue just look at him and leave it there...the most important thing you can do is watch how he motivates you to get it done and use it on him....it will work. C Ya.. PS if you do hire a maid don't tell him, just tell them to come whan you know he is not going to be home..

Let's all go on strike I'll join you!:) I get cranky too when my hubby complains, thinks it's so easy to do all these things. Just a week ago, I felt really sad and depressed, just burned out. And my hubby just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself! How insensitive can men get? But I'm feeling much better now because I'm goin to be working soon, that means, I'll be out of the house and not do all these things and I know he'll surely miss me being around! huh! They could at least say thank you!

It seems to me that working 12 hours a day doesn't leave much time for anything else. I am not taking sides, but what do you expect him to do after working 12 hours? Your husband, on the other hand, should help out around the house when he can, like maybe on weekends. I think you both need to sit down and appreciate what the other does for your household. Part of the problem is that hubby is away from things all day while you are smack dab in the middle. You might not be able to see things from his perspective because you can't go into work for him. But he could certainly gain some idea about your day because he could be in your shoes mabye for a day or two on the weekend. I think you need to look at what each brings to the relationship, like he brings in good money when working all these hours and you take responsibility for keeping up with the house and kids. You both have to give in a little and see things from the point of view of the other. That way you might be more thankful for what each person does. I think hubby still has an obligation to help out, but maybe not to the extent you feel he should. I can't say for sure because I am not there to see what goes on. I hope you can work this out and keep things from getting out of hand. Maybe you both need to so something nice for each other...kind of like a peace offering. And try to find the good things that make your relationship what it is. Focus on that part if it.

So Soccermom does that mean that you have one in the oven if you have not had a monthly since January? if so congrats to you and your family. But as for me there are three things that a man dont do at my house and my boyfriend will tell you that I say this... dont mow my yard, because some men cant do it right.. dont clean my house or do dishes.. that way I dont have to redo them to get the grease off of them, and dont do my laundry.. because it make me mad when my towles are folded the wrong way. I just find it easer if my boyfriend stays out of my way and just stick with what ever the man does and I will do the rest.

Oh,well you have to talk to your husband.Talk to them so that your relationship will be strong and be open enough to your husband whats your feelings and emotions.Well,me i am a single here i have my day off cleaning the house and that day is my favorite day.

i can so understand what you mean. i have went on strike before and it took a week and they all relized they had no clothes and no food in the house they all started cleaning. then when hubby broke his back and he started staying home i think he noticed that it is a big job to take care of the kids, clean, cook, etc. they do seem to blame alot on the monthly too. go on strike i dont blame you. maybe he will see that you do alot when it isnt getting done. you said that you ahvent had a monthly in a few months though have to ask are you pregnant?

This is one of the most common problems we have as married women! Even if you have a wonderful relationship, you tend to butt heads over the responsibility in the home. My husband and I had it out last night because he couldn't figure out why I asked him to make some phone calls that "were so simple that I could have done without his help". OMG! I just lost it. I work now, do all of the chores, laundry, clean up the doggie poop in the yard, make sure we have groceries, cook, clean up the kitchen when that is done, clean the house, tidy up continuously because I live with slobs, not to mention, feed the dog and make sure he has his insulin shots twice a day among everythign else, oh, did I mention helping with homework and listening to him gripe about his job? I am very patient, but that just made me loose my grip! I do'nt want to fight before he leaves for Iraq, but come on! I know what you mean about feeling devalued and underappreciated. I never get thanks except once or twice a year on holidays. At lesat some recognition of the things I do would be nice every once in awhile. I went on strike in my last marriage hahaha! It did work a little bit, because he came to realize that I did more than he thought. Maybe it will work for you. I hope so! Take care and keep your chin up hon! It sounds like you are burnt out!

now this is somewat like a child fight..lol..i thinnk the problem between u two is that ur work load has become somewat greater than ur capacity... u c he thinks he toils for hours so he doesn't want to take other responsibilities...u think u work throughout the day n u must be praised for that...i think u shud get a maid in to reduce ur work load .. n dont worry bout the small cat fight ...u two can just cool off a bit n sit together n appreciate each other...may a small holiday trip can help u better..anyway goodluck!!

i understand completely how you feel... i also feel that sometimes my hubby doesn't appreciate me for all the things that i have done for him... when we have an argument, he will shout at me and call me names... but i never go on a strike on him... may be i should one day just to show him that he has to learn to love and appreciate his wife more... hope everything will turn out well for you... take care and good luck...

wow january that's a long time, have you got an ultrasound for that at all yet? Maybe it's a good idea to consider that..... Otherwise, sorry... men can be jackasses sometimes, and all you can really do is shake your head and move on with your day because who knows what's actually going on in their mind... I think something's going on with the moon or something, because oddly enough, every woman i've talked to today, has said i quit, and i did that last night... Oh boy :P need to talk you know where i am :P

I could probably write almost the exact same discussion and it would fit with my home life. LOL I tried going on strike, it didn't work. He didn't really care if the house work got done or not. So that backfired on me. My hubby works 40 hrs. a week, unless he gets a little overtime, and I work 32-36 hours a week. When I get home, I have to clean, laundry, fix dinner, etc. On my days off, I have to run everyones errands, clean, laundry, fix dinner, etc. LOL I take the kids to school before work, and then pick them up right after work. But my husband seems to think on my day off I sit around and watch t.v. or sleep. I told him the other day I didn't want to hear anymore comments on me sleeping the day away. I wish I could sleep the day away. My hubby says the monthly/crabby statements to me also. And I really love it when he says, "But I work full-time." when I ask him to help out with some chores. I'm trying to figure out what the heck he thinks I do! His work day ends at 3 p.m., and mine ends when I go to bed at night.

I can understand why you are so cross. When my eldest was little I was working two jobs, taking her to childcare and back, doing all the shops, meals, cleaning, washing etc and my partner had the cheek to moan that the house got messy. A lot of the mess was down to his dogs putting hair and mud everywhere, or the paperwork he used to leave everywhere etc. I can understand why you are frustrated, but unfortunately can't tell you a solution as the way I have helped the situation is to get my partner to leave. I think the best thing for you to do is try to talk to him. Try not to shout and get emotional but just explain why you feel the way you do, and what you would like him to do to help.

Housewife's is the toughest job in this entire world, especially we can't simply quit if we are not happy with the "BOSS"! Relax, talk to ur husband how do u feel in a better way, i am sure he cares about ur feeling. Everything gonna be alright! Love, Serena :x

i would do the same if my husband was starting to act like that but i solved that problem early on, when the girls were first born after the six week mark i went back to work for about another 6 months and guess who was staying home and taking care of them ..thats right my husband so he knows the work that i do and i know what he goes through so we basically have a mutal understanding that what both of us do are very busy jobs. http://mommysmakemoney.blogspot.com