My friend is getting married to the guy I cannot stand!

@xquisite (156)
United States
July 19, 2007 12:51pm CST
My good friend of years is getting married to the guy that I simply cannot stand...many people say they dont' like him either, but there's not much I can do. What would you do if you were me? I don't have right to say anything to her at this point any more, because we warned her when she was going out with him. It's really sad though...it's likely that I'm going to be involved in the wedding in some way for sure... xquisite http://www.xquisite.us
5 people like this
22 responses
• India
20 Jul 07
hi friend.....i understand from your opinion that your friend is very adventurous and think she dares for anything.....for such people i would suggest you not to advice anymore for they will only be frustrated...instead try changing your frame of mind...that is...think that your friend can bring that guy on to her track....... this will be my earnest advice for you
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
Oh shucks,i think we have the same situation here!!I cannot say that i'm that mad at my bestfriend's bf, it's just that i think he's not yet ready to take big responsibility coz we all know that getting married is really a big responsibility huh! ahhh hate him!! he's so childish! but what can i do?..she loves him! i just wish them luck with all of my heart...maybe you should do it too,wish them all the happiness in the world and your friend for sure will really appreciate it. That's what friends are for right?('',)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 07
There is something tricky about guy is, they can treat their girlfriend in a gentleman style but they can't be a gentleman in front of the girlfriend's friend. There is nothing much you can do, it's your friend's future, it's her wedding, it's her life, just wish her good luck and be there if she has any problem.
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
20 Jul 07
Today I took part in my elder brother's wedding. All my relatives don't like the bride,neither I .But my brother is over 35, so we have to accept the bride. She is a common girl and she is over 30, the most important thing is that she doesn't how to communicate with others.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Just stand by your friend and pray for her happiness. She obviously is in love. If you are correct in your assesment and he really is a jerk, she will need a good friend like you down the line. You have said your piece and so now it is time to keep quiet and just stand by her.
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
no matter what you feel the most important thing is give her moral support and her very special day.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
20 Jul 07
well, if i were you, i can only wish her all the best as it is her choice and her life and it is her decision... there is not much i can do but to wish her as a good friend... hopefully everything will turn up well for her...
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
20 Jul 07
there isnt much you can do, and i know situation you are in and they are quiet nasty situations to be in, so you just show you friend your happy (even thou your not really) and be there all the time no matter what. soon as she thinks you are judging the partner then she will think she needs to take sides and most often they will choose their partner side.
@anjoks (2080)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
Got the same situation like yours a few years back.. but time lead me to totally accept the guy. We've got no choice. . . Come to think of it, put yourself on someone else's shoes like your friend. For sure u're going to do the same thing. Take care now. (",)
• India
20 Jul 07
hi
• Sri Lanka
20 Jul 07
yea,its sad when u friend doing the wrong things from u point of view,but that guy may have some qualaties that u didn't see or he may be a very cunning man.but now if u are a true friend u don't have to abandon your friend and u have to go for da wedding and wish them well.its her faith to marry a good man or bad person,nothing u can change now.help u friend after her marriage for her life.
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
20 Jul 07
My mother in law did not like her daughter's fiance because she saw that her fiance did not respect her. But sister in law married him anyway because it was her decision. Mother in law learned to accept it and supported her daughter. Another example, my uncle will not go to my cousin's (his daughter) wedding because he does not like her fiance. His reasons for not liking her fiance is irrational. My uncle might regret it someday. Maybe your friend's fiance is shady and that's why people don't like him. Maybe he does not respect your friend. Maybe your friend is oblivious and is going with her heart, instead of her head. She's going to marry this guy regardless, of what people say. If you choose not to go to your friend's wedding because you do not like the guy, then do not feel guilty about it. If you love and care for your friend and want to support her decision, go to her wedding with open arms. She will appreciate you for that. As the saying goes, "Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.". Maybe after your friend is married and sees his true colors, she will decide whether or not to leave him. If your friend ends up leaving him, then all of you can say "I told you so!" to her. LOL But who knows. If I were in your position and I told my friend that her fiance is shady, immature and that I do not like him, of course, my friend will still marry her fiance. I would still be there for her and support her no matter what and still go to her wedding because a real friend would do that.
• United Arab Emirates
20 Jul 07
You reminded me of a situation where I was few years back. My best friend was dating a boy from our school. When they started seeing each other, I did not had the courage to talk to her regarding this. He was really no match for her. But, finally when I heard other friends saying bad about the boy and how sad they were about this relationship, I gathered courage and talked to her. She started crying and said to me why i didn't tell her before about this and that it was too late to do anything. They planned to get married and they were seen by all. That time I felt that if I had the courage to tell her about the boy, she would have been more careful and controlled her feelings at the begining itself. Now, her mother thinks that I took her side and helped her to get married in secret. She is happy and has a child. i think whatever is to happen will surely happen. Nobody can change this. If she is happy, what more I can ask for. God bless her.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
No matter what you do, you can't actually do anything about it. I have an uncle who married someone that the whole family and the whole neighborhood, and the whole co-workers don't like. Well, I'm not exaggerating. No one liked her. She wasn't the best person to be, but my uncle still married her. No one had any say about it. After the marriage, still she caused a lot of troubles. Whenever we'd visit their home (we used to do that, surprise visits during birthdays or special occasions) she'd lock the gates and turn the volume of her stereo to full and ignore us knocking! Whew! Would you believe?! Well, I can go on and on about what she did to the family. But still we can't do anything about it. So if I were you. Let it be. She chose the guy. Let her drink her cup. Just be there for her as friends do. Take care. =)
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
19 Jul 07
all i can say is thank the goddess that it is her and not you that is marrying him and move on blessed be
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
It's really hard to tell a person when she is love. That's the hardest part of being in love. sometimes you are blinded by it that you forget that there are other people that cares for her too. I think right now you have to respect her decision to be married with him. For all you know she saw the goodness in him that everybody has not seen in him. So let's just give some space to the newly married couples and if you are a very good friend and religious at that just pray for the best for your friend and his hubby to be. It will make you feel better if you wish them instead of feeling bad against them.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
19 Jul 07
well there is prolly not much that you can do...love is not only blind, its deaf as well...meaning that no matter what you say, she prolly wont listen to you anyways, all you can do is be a good friend to her and not say i told you so if and when the marriage dissolves...
• India
20 Jul 07
I don't think you can do much about it and better not do also. If I were you, I would accept him as my friend's husband and move on.
• United States
19 Jul 07
My mother in law did not like her daughter's fiance because she saw that her fiance did not respect her. But sister in law married him anyway because it was her decision. Mother in law learned to accept it and supported her daughter. Another example, my uncle will not go to my cousin's (his daughter) wedding because he does not like her fiance. His reasons for not liking her fiance is irrational. My uncle might regret it someday. Maybe your friend's fiance is shady and that's why people don't like him. Maybe he does not respect your friend. Maybe your friend is oblivious and is going with her heart, instead of her head. She's going to marry this guy regardless, of what people say. If you choose not to go to your friend's wedding because you do not like the guy, then do not feel guilty about it. If you love and care for your friend and want to support her decision, go to her wedding with open arms. She will appreciate you for that. As the saying goes, "Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.". Maybe after your friend is married and sees his true colors, she will decide whether or not to leave him. If your friend ends up leaving him, then all of you can say "I told you so!" to her. LOL But who knows. If I were in your position and I told my friend that her fiance is shady, immature and that I do not like him, of course, my friend will still marry her fiance. I would still be there for her and support her no matter what and still go to her wedding because a real friend would do that.
• China
20 Jul 07
I think you should be considerate about this matter. There must be something special that can only be seen by your friend on him. And that aspect must be pursuasive enough for your friend to marry him. Try to put yourself in your friend's shoe, and you will know it better.