when a husband cheats, is it the wife's fault?

Well let us not be pointing fingers on who cheats more than whom. I believe that we can only do as much pertaining to another persons behavior, emotions and feelings. But we are completely in control of ourselves, therefore the act itself of cheating is brought about by your own free will, despite all the factors that would make you cheat. The final decision and the act itself is still in your hands. Therefore you cannot blame your spouse for your own action. When you cheated, you wanted it that is why you did such act. If you had no intention to do so, then no matter how ugly your spouse becomes in the future you can always find a way to fix things in your relationship. But then if you cheat, it was your own decision to do so and so no pointing of fingers.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. No one can 'make' anyone do anything...they choose to do what they do. No one can 'make' another angry...they choose to make theselves angry because of what someone said or did. Forget the wife's fault. The blame game is something many play so well. Sorry, doesn't wash with me either jcj. The cheater made the decision to cheat rather than 'deal.' So if they were so miserable.....get some help...do the honorable thing..but cheat and blame it on the wife...give me a break! What happened to being accountable for the cause and effect of what you do and say? If it wasn't so pathetic it is almost laughable...do people ever stop and listen to what they tell others....or themselves? Guess not in this case. Thanks for giving me a chance to vent...it must be time to sign off...I'm getting a little tired of the number of those playing the blame game today. Well...at least we agree...you are right...come on!!!

not at all... it is his husband's decision to cheat no matter what the wife do to him... it is just our sinful nature to blame and defend ourselves as we never want to admit our mistakes... even though the wife is unloving and uncaring, he can choose other better ways to solve the problem rather than cheating on her... it is just his decision and he wants to do it... so no... i don't believe that wife is to blame when a husband cheat... just like in the Bible when Adam and Eve falls into sin, Adam blames God and Eve and Eve blames the serpent... from then on, we also like to blame other people for our mistake...

When a husband cheats on his wife, it is his own fault for being weak-minded and cheating on her. I have known many men in my life who have done this, and I look at them is disgust.

Of course its the wifes fault, that is why a man gets married, so he can blame everything that goes wrong on his wife. You don't think he going to blame it on his dog, do you?

i think this is true, almost every man not only husband but almost every man like cheating, that why when they been a husband they still like to cheating. its true, absolutely true.

No.Not at all it is because of the faulty wiring inside that fellow's head.

Everyone is this world thinks that he/she is innocent....they always thing that it is other party who has made the fault. No one wants to believe or for that matter wants to admit that he/she can also commit faux pas and faults. Not admitting faults is a human tendency and same happens when a husband cheats a wife...just to absolve himself of the crime...he finds faults with her wife and vice versa.

I read a very interesting quote on marriage once--"Marriage is like ordering a dish, and then wanting to eat what the other person has ordered" :) Just being a bit naughty here. Seriously, how long do people stay married? The longest is, say, 30, 40, 50, 60 years? Are you trying to tell me that they never have a romantic affair at least once while they stay faithfully married to their spouses? Even if they are so 'good' I am sure people feel attracted to other people, and wish in their minds that they were free to pursue a relationship with them. Who is totally, completely, one hundred percent satisfied with their spouses? At least mental cheating will take place if they do not go out and do it in real. And even if they do it in real, it is nothing serious; they will always go back to their legal spouses. :) The bottomline is: Cheating takes place all the time, in the life of almost everybody, if not at a physical level, at least at a mental level.

It is not right to say that it is the wife's fault when the husband cheats. This can be defined as an excuse of the husband when he wants to try some other women attractive to him. I think it is a lie and it is an excuse and it is unfair to the wife.

that's the first thing the husband says, it's the wife's fault, why he's cheating. but one must analyze the situation first before saying who's fault it is. there are different factors why a husband cheats. and most often, it's because the wife is not as attractive as before. or the wife is cold in bed. or the wife doesn't have time for the husband anymore. or there's no spark or excitement with their relationship. that's why most often it is advised to couples, to reinvent their relationship. to look for excitement in their relationship not a routinary relationship. anyone would get bored in such relationship. there must be something new once in a while.

i don't think there are more husbands cheating than wifes . the women are better at covering there lies when they do cheat. It doesn't have to be any reason other than the ability to say ya i did that person. Bragging rights. Then in some cases the spouse isn't giving the emotional support. sometimes its just better because its taboo. sometimes its just to see if the man/woman still feels attractive. If you are married for a long time you learn to lie to each other. strangers usually won't cheat with you unless they find you attractive. alchol helps make everyone attractive. But no matter what reason you chose to subscribe to its still dishonorable to make a commitment and not keep it. In extremely bad relationships it just becomes a score card.

Hell no. Its usually an issue that was before or during their time together. Not one person is to blame and just because the husband doesn't want to take responsibility doesn't mean you have the right to blame it on the wife.

in my opinion although i dont have husband or im not into relationship now,its unfair to the wives if the husband blame her for the cheating he done. instead of blaming her wife why did he try to apologise to his wife and to his children. and another one,if the husband feels and realize that he did not love his wife anymore,speak to her and tell the truth and say that he want his life to move on,not in the process of cheating her and blaming her...

i do not think it is wife's fault at all. i have seen guys have tendency to cheat more than women. They make those excuses. But when his wife is not attractive enough, why has he married her?

no one should ever believe that its her fault when a man cheats. I used to think that it was my fault that husband cheated on me. but now that i am divorced for other reasons then this. It wasn't my fault he just wanted me then me and that makes me sick. I can't believe men today, their so selfish at times. They just can't be satisfid with their wife. If we aren't giving them enough they should tell us in a way that we will understand. My first husband tried to tell me, but the problem was he complained about how I do it with him. I said if you wouldn't complain and help me out with ideas maybe we'd do it more. he wasn't that smart in that area I guess. He didn't cheat on me though until later.

I think that's absolute BS. Even if those factors are no longer there: attraction, attention etc, as long as the two people are in a relationship (marriage or defacto), they have no right to be seeing anybody else romantically and/or physically. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, then they end it. It's painful, but at least it's not betrayal.

I don't think so. There are many factors to consider. Of course I am not washing the hands of wives here. But it is not only her sole fault. There are many reasons that can be accounted to her. But not all. And sometimes nothing really at all.

well i partially agree with you.since there are as many cheating husbands as there are chaeting wives.i really dont understand as to why this reason is being given that their wife is no more attractive.i mean how can se be?nobody in this world can be young forever.some day or the other everyone has to old.taking care of children and giving time to them is also not a valid reason.even wife wants to spend time with her hubby but if kids needs her more,she is ready for that thinking that her hubby being matured will understand this.i think its not the fault of the other person.rather its the fault of the cheater since he or she could not control their emotion towards other.

I don't know who cheats more, men or women. It's just that women who cheat are judged in society much more then men. I think that people or A)don't love enough their partner and aren't satisfied (in any possible way, not just in bed) with him/her so they just start looking for excitement somewhere else. and B) people who are hurt or disappointed by their partner and that way their heal their wounds.