Always stuck home with the kids

I know what you mean. On the weekend I think that I shouldn't be the one to always wake up with the kids. Why can't he do it? And why can he just wake up on those days and jump in the shower? What about me can I get a shower before he does some days? Men don't think about anything else but themselves. You just want to scream HEY WHAT ABOUT ME?

Well that is one good reason to have family or good friends close by so when you need time to yourself or to go out with your finace you will be able to. I am sure you would be able to work out play dates for your kids to go to and have fun at their friends or families house. You need a break atleast once a week. To be able to renew yourself and be a woman again not just a mom even though you wouldn't trade that job for the world but to continueing doing a greeat job that you are doing you need a break. maybe you an your fiance could sneak away for a much needed weekend together, Then when one of your friends needs the same favor you can trade kids for a few hours, or a few days.My sister and even myself does the play dates that way we can get things done without having the kids hanging from our shirt tails it is so much easier and more enjoyable. So give it a try. And as the other two says before me and possibly a few after me that you two needs to spend time together and also maybe he could pay for a babysitter if you cannot set up a play date for the kids or find friends and family willing to help out. Good luck..

I agree with Judy. But do you and your fiance ever go out together - alone? You need to stay connected to one another. You need to nurture your relationship for the sake of your own mental health and the children. I was always complaining about my husband going golfing once a week (he would go more if I would let him but we made an agreement). He told me I needed to find a hobby of my own. I found the writer's group and I really enjoy it. We meet weekly (except in the summer) and I have made a whole new batch of friends. My husband encourages me to go to anything that has to do with this group and/or writing. If he DIScouraged me he would be in BIG trouble. But I know how you feel. My husband has been taking vacations alone to see his family every year. We can't afford for even him to go but he insists that he MUST see his parents every year. So he goes by himself and I don't get any vacation at all. In fact, I do more work over the summer with the kids home constantly eating and messing up my house. I think you two need to sit down and discuss it. You haven't said what your fiance is doing or how often. Like I said, my husband and I came to an agreement that he could go golfing once a week. He works 12 hour shifts so doesn't see the kids much when he is working. He needs to stay connected to his family.

If you want to go out without the kids, hire a babysitter and go.I'm sure your fiance will be happy to pay for the cost if it makes for a happier, more content you. If he objects, its time to look for another life partner, since this one does not respect your needs.

First of all it upsets me when I hear that your partners are not taking your needs seriously. Maybe I am just spoiled but when I need time away from the kids I can just go and not worry about having to ask. I say baby I need some time alone, can you take the kids for awhile and he says go and have a good time. What is up with these guys that don't have empathy for their wives or girlfriends? Are they so selfish? If there is anyway that you can get a babysitter or a friend to watch the kids so you can have a free moment to yourself feel free, but I would seriously be considering my relationship, th is will only get worse. He is not trying to make it easier or work harder at making time for you. So, think on that. I hope that changes for you!

I know exactly how you feel! i feel the same way... and since I do not have a drivers license I feel even more like a home-body. The only time I can get out is if it is walking distance and most times it is with one or both of the kids! I am a WAHM (work at home mommy) and although I do get to talk to other people over the phone besides kids and my hubby... it sure would help if I got out away from the kids! When it was just my son and hubby and myself... my in-laws would take my son to give us some alone time... well now i have two kids. my son is 2 and my daughter is 9 months. My inlaws STILL only take my son to their house "to give me a break". I love both my kids dearly, and I know that my daughter is easier to take care of than my son is... but i still need "me" time... and not "mommy time" all the time if you know what i mean.

I think you should tell him specifically what you want him to do. Ask him to take your kids with him when he's going out, and tell him that you need a break. You tell him you don't need an apology but you need an action from him. I think he will understand. Sometimes we have to say directly to a man. Like my husband, he never understands if I say things indirectly. So now that I know he's like that, I will say exactly what I want him to do. It's easy for him and for me too. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I am like you. I love staying home with the kids, but sometimes I need a break. I schedule a girls night out with my friends once a month. I tell my husband that I won't be home this night and he will have the kids. If he says that he has something going on then, I have him get a sitter. I feel that once a month he can step up and be responsible for the kids.

Is your fiance the father of your children? If so, then you guys should schedule a "date nite". You also need time for you. If he is the dad or even if he is not..he should be willing to be with the kids so that you can have some "you time". some will disagree with me on this but I do believe that if a man wants to be with a woman who has kids, he should be willing to take on the responsibility of those kids. after all it is a package deal. If he can't deal with it then he should be going with a woman that is without children.

I completely know where you're coming from. I know you love your kids, but, feel jealous that he comes and goes as he pleases. Even my husband knows that it's easier to go out and work than it is to stay at home with the three kids. And we only have one car and tight finances to boot! I wish there was an answer for you. I hate to say it, but, schedule a 'female appointment' and add along a few extra destinations for yourself. I've found that the rare occassion that I am out alone, I now take full advantage of it. They do it all the time, it's just that we are taught to feel guilty when we do it.

I love my 18 month old son with all my heart but I need a break too. My husband and I live with his parents and at night they and my husband complain about how hard they work and then they say to me well you don't know what its like, you don't work. It makes me so mad because unlike them I never get a break, my husbands parents think I'm lazy and I spend all day doing nothing. I don't drive yet so I never leave the house alone, the only time I have to my self is when I shower or late at night when everyone is asleep. I don't have any good friends other then my husband and dad, so I have no one to go out wih but sometimes I would like to just go shopping for yarn by myself or go and sit at a park and do nothing. Lucky for me my dad is amazing and I spend most of the weekend at his house just hanging out a relaxing while he plays with my son, hes the greatest papa. I'm not trying to say my husband doesn't help or goes out all of the time becuase he rarely goes out with his friends any more because he knows it bugs me and I don't really like alot of his friends.

Me too, as a mother for two children feel the same way, you feel. But, remember, that we can take more care than the men, as it the nature, that Men do not have patience to look after the kids. Do you think, that by leaving the kids with husband, you can enjoy outing??? I personally, feel, we cannot enjoy with our husband and children. However, I send my children to school, from morning 9.00am to 4.00pm we get time to go outing, even with husbands, if he is free. And has to content with that, since the mother's responsibilities are more than father's

i suppose for my hubby is he doent know how to handle kids and also i dun have much frens tat time.. as they most r workin and are singles too.. so i either go find hubby when he work or out shoppin alone wit my kid.. after i joined in a parenting forum after my 2nd child born i started to know more mummies n frens..then i tell hubby of how to handle them easily.. as so we have gatherings often or even goes clubs as well.. then i explain to my hubby tat its a 1 or 2times thing in a mth.. also my relief stress time.. he allows eventually after when he master the look after kid skill :)