Adoption

I'm so proud of you for that. So many women have abortions, and don't consider adoption, and there are so many women out there that want a baby and can't have one. It takes alot of courage, strength and heart to have one, and give it up to someone that you know that can give it a better life. Take care.

you sound like an awesome mom! Your daughter needs to know all of her options and it is also helpful that you are there to support her emotionally. While the final decision is hers, I am sure that your influence will lead her to make the right choice for herself and the child!

That is beautiful- I hope that all of us mylotters show you support and not shame- I think you have NO reason to be ashamed- You did what you thought was right and still think is right- Adoption- It was your choice and no one should criticize you for that- I’m sorry that you are feeling pain every day for this- I can’t imagine having a child and then giving that child up- It must be hel!- I’m sorry for that- I’m glad that you told your daughter your story- I am also glad that she has made this decision—not so much the keeping the baby but that she made the decision- I know you and your family will love this baby and take great care of the baby- Congrats on becoming a grandmom soon-- : ) You’ll be great!

It is fantastic that you opened up about your past life and current feelings. I think you were sensible for adopting your daughter. You gave her the life that she deserved and gave other people the wonderful chance of becoming a parent. I hope that one day you will find her and that you will get on well together. I know people that were adopted and they understand why their natural mother could not keep them. I know how sad you must feel every October. I have to say well done for having your baby and giving her up to enjoy a better life. Many woman have abortions and if they later regret doing this it must be very upsetting. Nowadays things are easier for young single mothers like your daughter. The support you are giving her is wonderful. I hope that the birth and motherhood will go well for her. You will make a superb grandparent.

My mother was adopted- and it still hurts her to talk about the subject to this day- she is now 54. Unlike you, she did not have parents that wondered or worried or cared- she later found out. So be proud of your decision- for it was the best one at the time, and maybe one day you will be able to tell her that- and if you don't- you will always have the piece of mind knowing that you made the right decision with the circumstances at that time. Its an emotional topic all the way around, there is no denying that, so stay strong and be confident in the decisions that you have made. After all, you are the only one that knows whats best for you ;)

I placed a son for adoption in 2005. I really can empathize with you. Have you registered with the adoption agency, or any kind of registry that trys to link families seperated by adoption together? There is always the chance that she is looking for you. I am very appreciative of you helping your daughter with her baby. When I have children that I am parenting I don't ever want them to have to place a baby.

I believe what you did was a wonderful thing and you should never feel ashamed for one minute about a decision such as this . You thought about the life of your child and made a very unselfish decision for both you and your child . This must have been very hard for you to do and even to this day it is something you still think about and wonder about . But you did the right thing . You could very easily have taken the easy way out and had an abortion but you didn't . You thought about the needs of your child above the needs of yourself and this is what makes a mother a great mother . I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you or even how hard it is for you now to know that you have a child out there somewhere that you never get to see but what you did was give your child the option to a better life and a better chance at life and for this you deserve so much credit and you were able to help your daughter with a very difficult decision based on your own experiences that probably helped her out more then anything you could have done for her . I applaud you and you really did make the best decision . I have a friend who got pregnant when she was young , she didn't want the child but her parents made her keep the child feeling that she couldn't give the child up as that would be wrong and that she needed to take responsibility for her actions . Four years after she had her daughter she called children's aid on herself because she knew she was unable to give her child what she needed . What she did was the right thing to do but because she had listened to her parents and kept her daughter for a few years will always have lating effects on this child . Although she did what she could for her child she never did give her the full care she needed as she truely had no idea how to raise a child . When I met her , her daughter was so tiny from lack of nutritioin and was not as well adjusted as other children her age . She was not talking and had a hard time trying to feed herself . She was unable to do things that all child her age were so capable of doing . When she gave her child up they found out that her daughter had not been able to see and needed glasses , because she had went for years without this being treated she will always where glasses . She was lacking the proper nutrition and will always be considered slow for her age and will always have more of a stuggle in life . The grandparents were given the option to take the child and although they didn't want their daughter to give her away they were not willing to raise her themselves . Today she is now adotped and lives in the same area as the grandparents but has no contact with them . She is doing good but will always need someone there with her as she missed out to much of what she needed when she was younger . She is one of the lucky one's as it could have been so much worse but would have been so much better off if her mother had been able to give her up when she wanted to . Through this you can see that the decision you made for yourself so many years ago could have affected the life of your child in more ways then you will ever know and you have given your child something that no one else could have and this was the love and care of a mother who thought about her child above all else in giving her child a chance at a better life then she ever could have . Take Care !!

For what it's worth I think you did the right thing, I'm guessing your a new grandma by now as this is quite an old post. I'm an adopted child and although it's been tough I can quite understand why my mother had to give me away and how hard it must have been also. Good luck

Of course there's nothing to be ashamed about, you did what was best for your daughter at that time in your life & if adoption was the best way for her to have a happy & loved life, then you did something wonderful for you - you gave her life & then you gave her to a childless couple who could raise her & give her everything she needed. I too, hope one day that you & your first daughter can be reunited & that she can understand your reasons for not raising her yourself. I think what you did was a wonderful thing, like another member mentioned, a lot of people may have opted to abort when they found out or others may have chosen to keep the child but not been able to raise her properly. Good luck with the new coming Grandchild, i hope everything works out well for your younger daughter & her new child :)

You did what you thought was right..I am glad that you were able to share this with us..It doesn't matter what others think, as long as you are happy with the choice that you've made..You did it out of love and that is perfectly fine. I am sure you will be a good grama. Your daughter is lucky to have a mother as wonderful as you to help her through her pregnancy.

Wow! I was pregnant at 18 too. I knew I would keep her from day one. She is now almost 12 and I couldn't picture my life without her. I did the right thing for you as now your daughter is doing the right thing for her. I think she will be an excellent mom and with a mom like you they will do great Congrats! Vicki

hi i hope that things work out for you and your daughter. baby are always a joy but the come with hard work and belive that now that she is pergant now she was to become respondable for her action . she has to get a job to support her child cause now she is going to be a mom and that what parents do. they support there children that they have because they are under there care . So i hope that things work out and that you are there for your daughter and show good character and show her how to be a good mom and back her on her good deciosions.