My mother expired in my arms----I feel lost and depressed---!
By tuhpaul
@tuhpaul (475)
India
August 1, 2007 4:01am CST
I was busy for some time trying to keep my mother alive for some more time but God had other ways for her--she left on her heavenly abode on 18th July ,just not even six months after my father expired on 24th January,this year.She returned from the Nursing Home on the 15th of July- hail and hearty,but on the 18th morning she felt weak and unstable and said that she could not feel her own pulse-she was sitting on the bed.Being a trained graduate in nursing,she asked me to call a doctor as she was passing away and we needed a death certificate-I was at my wits end and did not know what to do -I phoned 2 of my friends who rushed to our house and rushed out to call a doctor-no doctors were willing to come as they had other committments-even her own doctor advised me to take her back to the nursing home as he does not make home visits-we were helpless-I put my arms around her trying to pacify her -her voice got distorted-I could not understand what she was trying to say-my daughter and wife gave her some holy water to drink and I started to say the Hail Mary followed it by the Lord's prayer-gradually her body loosened in my arms and she left us at 9.45 a.m.at the age of 85-I was shaken up-as I never faced a situation of this sort before.I laid her straight on the bed-now the question of getting a death certificate-no doctors were willing to give one -she lay like that for 2 hours while my friends and I ran from one doctor to another-till we found one who charged us three times his fees and issued a death certificate-that too without visiting our home!Now I feel depressed as I could not get a doctor to have her checked-and feel hopeless and useless - I can't even cry out aloud.I could not sit at mylot-but today I FORCED MYSELF to let all my mylot friends know why I did not respond or start a discussion-sorry friends I STILL CANT GET OVER IT HOPE YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND.
4 people like this
19 responses
@vonne28th (1494)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
I am so sorry to hear that news. My sister also passed away last month July 14 in the hospital at the age of 23. We were still depressed and we really really missed her a lot. But life goes on and be brave. Just be glad that still your mom gets into that age. She I think done a lot of things in this world. That's just the Lord's plan.
@vonne28th (1494)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
We will going to visit her grave maybe this month with my whole family. I will be praying for you. Keep strong.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
24 Sep 07
Your Story was very touching because I too went threw this when my grandma passed away.. She knew it was going to happen but the thing is she was in so much pain that she screamed and cried and there wasn't anything anyone could do to help her.. Me being 14 at the time I would sing to her and talk to her to keep her company I knew deep down she had no idea who I was.. She had cancer and it spread threw out her body and yes into her brain as well.. She knew nothing.. The day my grandma passed away I was hurt but than again knew it was time for her to go.. There is something else though when my dad passed away a year and 3 months ago it wasn't something I wasn't expecting.. My dad was a strong man and health as far as I knew.. The day my dad passed away I feel right to my knees and couldn't get up.. I couldn't talk or anything I was in total shock.. I was so angry at the world that I didn't speak for days afterwards.. To have someone here one day and gone the next is the hardest thing anyone can go threw... But knowing someone is going to pass and it is expecting isn't really that hard.. So I have been threw both... God Bless you Paul and your family!
@tuhpaul (475)
• India
24 Sep 07
Sad to know about your grandmother and your dad-really it is very difficult to settle down when someone very close departs to their heavenly abode-but then this is part of life and we have to accept it.
Thank you my friend for your response-God bless you and your family.
@yulingyan (3)
• China
20 Sep 07
Don't be sad,people are predestine to die,we can stop it.
when we are young,wo want to live with our parents,we must treasure the time we spend, if you can not be with your family members,you must ofen make a call to them.
now i am working in qingdao,but my hometown is in yantai,i
miss my parents very much,so we make a call once a week,oh,my friend,wake up!Do't feel lost and depressed,if your mother knew your mood,she might be unhappy!
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
2 Aug 07
i'm sorry to hear about what happen to you... this must be the heaviest times for you... my deepest condolences to you... i will pray for you and your family... be strong and keep your faith in Him... take care and God Bless you...
1 person likes this
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I am sorry for your loss..I will definately send some extra prayer for you..Just remember to be strong and that your mother and your father are in a wonderful place and are smiling upon you..Stay blessed tuhpaul.......
1 person likes this
@no_chao (548)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
i honestly dont know the exact feelings you have during that time...but im sure that the pain will always be there....but you know what, im sure your mom was prepared to see God's face... and at her age... i think you are lucky enough to be with her for that long. she might done all her tasks here in earth..such a long jorney she had. she's now beside God and worry no more. cause will never be in pain again.... let just pray for her and thank God that it happened in a peacefull way.
1 person likes this
@lyndee22 (1210)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
I am sorry to hear that. Sometimes people are so cruel to their fellow. Time will pass by and you're eventually overcome this experience. I admired your strength and composure. Only few could do that. God Bless You.
@arrgophil (96)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I'm so sorry for your loss.
God bless you and your family.
1 person likes this
@midnite7471 (10)
• United States
2 Aug 07
I am so sorry for your loss. I was with my granny when she passed. It was hard, but also comforting, knowing that she wasn't suffering anymore and went peacefully (she had cancer). Stay strong and may God bless you.
1 person likes this
@sudhajosyula50 (3808)
• India
1 Aug 07
Sorry friend,please overcome the situation and slowly start your daily routine
@doweili (12)
• Singapore
1 Aug 07
it will be normal if you are sad.because your mom passed away.but think will your mother feel happy if she knew that you are so sad. she must continue her journey to another realm.so let he go happily.she has already done all her chorse while shes alive and now allow her to proceed on to meet your dad. i hope that u will be able to accept this incident and not brood over it.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
1 Aug 07
Oh this is a sad time for you, but tou know I think to hold someone as they pass from one journey to the next is the biggest honour to be bestowed on you, it means you were a part of this transition, the two most important days of your life is the day you were born and the day you die, it is nice that you were a part of one of them, your mother is on another journey now and she will hover around you now to watch out for you, I wish you well.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
9 Aug 07
Well, I am so sorry to hear that and I hope someday you will get to see her again in heaven. I'm sorry for your loss.
@sweetaspie52 (2359)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I am so sorry for your lost I can not say that I know what you went through but I did take care of my sister who passed away nov.1994 I cared for her the last 30 dayus of her life than I had to put her into a nursing hme where she passed a day after Thanksgiving of that year the pain will ease in time and the memory of her will be with you the rest of your life and to help on special holidays try lighting a candle in rememberance of her God be with you and to help you heal from your loss
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
1 Aug 07
I am very sorry for your loss. I will pray for your mom and I am lighting a candle for her too.
1 person likes this
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
Sorry to hear about that... those doctors are all shenanigans... I can fell what you felt asit happened to me also. I was with my mother then to see her doctor and I was told he has few more months to live, that date, I cannot forgot, May 21, ... I felt so dumb, no feelings at all, my mother doenst know about it... after less than six months she passed away, in a hospital. We are affected by her going ahead, but we cannot do anything. What I am now thingking about, I am here in the city, she is just in the province, and when I am in the province as if she is in the city. In that way, as if she just around... In due time you can get over it...
