Teenage Prenancy: Do you blame the parents for the children's mistakes?
By Ms Michelle
@lenapoo (678)
United States
September 27, 2007 1:53pm CST
This kind of came up today during a lunch discussion. One of my very good friends as well as my co-worker was saying how her niece was sixteen and she was pregnant. She was saying that kids are having babies younger and younger these days and how she wants be to there for her niece because her mother is not around. Then one of my other co-workers was like "Well, she ain go be no better than her mama is. " We all looked at her and was like. Wow! What a nice and encouraging thing to say about this womans niece. I mean kids make mistakes all the time and it is up to us as the adults to lead and guide them in the right direction. This child didn't have any guidance her mama wasn't around and she didn't even know who her daddy was. I'm not using that as an excuse, but I'm just saying that she didn't have anybody to look to for answers to her questions so she went out into the world to get her own and she ended up getting pregnant. What do you think? Do you feel like she is a bad girl for making a mistake? I understand that alot of people feel like she should have sense enough to know how to handle herself, but honestly it isn't as easy as it sounds. I can feel where she is coming from though because my sister has two kids and she isn't even eighteen, yet. She got pregnant at fourteen. Let me know how you feel about teenage pregnancy and blaming the parents for the children's mistakes.
2 people like this
12 responses
@kcbabez14 (967)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I look at it as what there background is. If they come from a disturbed or disrupted home life then i wouldn't so much as blame the parents but i would. For example. I got pregnant when i was 18. My mom passed away when i was 16 and my dad became an acholic. He didn't care what i did and so i took advantage of that. I think of it as if he would have been there for me and would have cared about what i was doing then i probally would of not ended up pregnant. Alot of teenage mothers usually come from this kind of home or their parents just don't care what they do.
So i think that if the parents were a little more involved then they wouldn't become teenage moms.
1 person likes this
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
28 Sep 07
That's very true and that is what happened to my co-workers niece. She didn't have anybody around not a mother or a father to tell her anything so she went out and explored the world alone. I believe that if her parents had've been a part of her life like they should have she probably wouldn't have ended up pregnant.
@psycho74 (124)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I don't think the parents should be blamed for that. The same can happen to a very well brought up girl. You can teach them right until you're blue in the face, whether they choose to live by your advice is up to them. And I also don't think the girl who got pregnant is a bad person for it either. Teenagers make mistakes, it happense.
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
28 Sep 07
We were going back and forth about that saying that the way they are brought up won't make no difference really about their upbringing because they have a mind of their own and can do whatever they want to do.
@ljames85 (294)
• Canada
28 Sep 07
NO! You should absolutly not blame the parents. People are taught certain things how they listen and act is a completly different story. Yes people are having kids younger and younger but a vast majority (that i knw) turn out to be better parents and mroe successful then those that wait sometimes.
@tsukie (2)
• Philippines
28 Sep 07
A lot of factors influence how a person decides on his/her own. All of those stems since we were once a baby until we grew up. And part of it is how we were carried by our parents till our adulthood. Hence, parents can be partly blame for their children's mistake. I have a cousin who used to be in illegal gambling. What do we expect from his children? They too were fun of it to the point that even his elementary grade chose not to go to school anymore and instead just playing cards and computerize horse racing. Since parents are the first educators, they must be of role models to their children so what they are going to teach will be instilled and practiced as they grow up.
@CEN7777 (855)
• India
28 Sep 07
Hi lenapoo, I personaly think its a mistake from parents. i believe that parents are best guide and friend of a child. Every child grows up by looking at his parents and so like to follow them as closer as he can. In this case I thinks parents did not care about child, If they keep talking to her, and have close eye to her they can atleast guide her whenever she needs and also she would have comfortably to discuss with them in cruicial moments. Off course they may not be able to stop her from having ralationship, but their guidance can avoid this teenage pregnancy. Its only good and close guidance can avoid such mistakes.I think as she is left alone she tried to find someone closer to her in this world and got involved in relationship which results this preganancy.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
I don't think the parents have a direct relationship if their daughter gets pregnant at a very young age. yes, they might committed mistakes but never should be blame at all. because getting pregnant is the daughter's decision and never been a direct command coming from parents. Since it is her decision to get pregnant at an early age, there is no one to be accounted for but herself.
@lanhamst (11)
• United States
1 Oct 07
I don't think you should blame the parents. As parents we try to teach our children right from wrong, but as they get older they are going to do what they want, no matter what we say or what they have been taught. By the time they become a teenager it is up to them to make up their own minds and make their own mistakes. It is then our job to support them and hope they learn from what they have done.
@patgalca (18394)
• Orangeville, Ontario
27 Sep 07
I do think the family dynamic plays a major role in how our children behave. Girls that don't have a father figure, or don't have a loving relationship with their father look for it elsewhere.
However, as the mother of an 11 year old and a 14 year old, I do worry that it could happen to us, but I also believe that we have raised our girls to do the right thing. If one of my girls came home pregnant I would be totally stunned. Between the school, the church and my husband and me, I think they have been taught everything that can be taught, have proper guidance and open communication. I can't say it would be my fault if something like that happened. I don't think I could say "where did I go wrong?" but "where did SHE go wrong?"
In some cases, however, the parents can be partly to blame for reasons cited above - lack of love, guidance, communication, education. Parenting isn't easy, but it becomes our number one job and priority when we DO become parents and we should do everything we can to raise our children to be the best they can be.
@glhens2129 (30)
• Philippines
28 Sep 07
Nowadays, i may say that parents are partly to blame in such predicament, because it's their responsibility to look into their children's welfare. Parents should enkindle in the minds of their daughters the consequences of their decisions, getting pregnant at an early age takes a greater responsibility besides it will give too much physical risk. On the other hand, kids now seem to know everything and as if can handle anything. We should be watchful of our children, because more often, they make wrong decisions.
@ajyukie15 (217)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I think so. Teenagers like that still need guidance of the parents. Their minds are not that mature enough and not set yet. And parent's advice to their kids are very important maybe it happen like that because its lack of parental guidance and parent's attentions. Parents should guide their kids.
@Scorpio2111 (170)
•
27 Sep 07
I think in some cases the parents are partly to blame, if they haven't bothered to try and guide their child in the right direction but a girl can be brought up in a good home with decent parents and a decent up-bringing and still find herself in this situation. It can be just a mistake. Some girls have such a crappy family life, and yearn to have their own family unit. I think it is a shame when girls fall pregnant at such a young age when they should be out enjoying themselves. It is hard work bringing up a child for an older mother, let alone a teenager. I have no doubt though that some young girls out there have made a very good job of it.
@athomeakodito (50)
• Philippines
28 Sep 07
I think that parents are partly to blame with this type of issue but we cannot hide the fact that the children also have a fault on the matter. This problem is a matter of parent-children miscommunication. If both parties are openly communicating with each other things like these may be prevented. But who knows? Stuff happens without us having any control of and we just have to accept it as a blessing rather than a mistake.
