My daughter has failed.

I can sympathize with you. Sounds like you are exactly on the right path. I'd like to tell you a little story that happened to us personally. Our oldest daughter was 15 and decided she wanted to quit high school. I told her ok but she had to go to work fulltime. She took a job at a local fast food chain. She didn't like the job but I reminded her that would be her career without an education. She was still in school at this point and working parttime. Socializing at school was her favorite subject. She went on to finish high school, go to college, ger her undergrad degree, continue on to get her Master's and part of her Ph.D. Today she is a functioning mental health counselor. Don't give up and toss in the towel but instead make your daughter totally responsible for her studies and attendance at school. You're doing the right thing with punishment. I wish you the very best success.

it looks like there's something wrong with your daughter. i think you should better talk to her first. i also think that what you are doing are kind of super strict and it might result into something worst than having bad grades. ask her first what is her problem and then you might want to encourage her to study more by promising her a sort of prize if she gets a better grade. of course, you will still impose some restrictions on her like lesser time to hang out with friends or lesser time to watch tv or cutting her allowance. ^__^ goodluck mamasan!

I am sorry to hear this I really hope that she picks up on her work Have you asked her why, could it be she is missing her Dad as that could cause it to I think you need to have a chat with her

YIKES! I had the same problem with my son. He never graduated High School due to his feelings about school. He did take his GED a few years later earning a High School equivilent diploma. Just as good as a HS graduation diploma. Well it looks like the punishment you doled out may be working a bit. The grades have improved a lot actually. The schools here in Minnesota have parent teacher conferences a few times during the year. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!

i think u shout help your daughter more in her studies and properly explain to her that we have a brilliant brain and we just have to work hard and utilize it properluy. just give a crash course on inportance of learning Regards Harry

I think if she failed that many classes its a little deeper than just socializing. Does she have a learning disability? Is there something going on in her life right now? I suggest talking to her about it to find out whats going on. Its actually very difficult to fail a class when you attend it. I think you are doing the right thing by talking to her teachers. Possibly get her to see a counciler.

Not a big deal, many people fail in exams but come out with flying colors in this big test of life. No amount of pressure tactics can overnight make her your ideal child or a winner. Maybe, you didn't keep and tab on her activities earlier and that's why her grades disappoint you. A young mind always looks out for joy and fun and if she's found her chocolate factory in her friends and outings, you can stop her but you can't shut her. The best thing is, you becoming her friend and trying to help her find that fun in studies and books. It's hard but it's possible Best of luck

At least you are now watching your daughter's activity. But don't be too strict to her. She might not enjoy her freedom and there might be a possibility that she will become a rebel child. Try to be open to her. Try to build mother-daughter bonding. Communication is one of the best things to maintain a harmonious mother-daughter relationship.

i can relate my daughter has failed as well and last year she was on the deans list i just dont get it but i can say this all we can do for our children is show them the way we cant force the issue or risk the reverse affect so im sure you have tried but ask again and again on what she needs just tell her that you want to help because thats your job not because you want to force her to do well in school explain why you feel this way and ask her her opinion on the matter and whatever it takes for her to open up for you and get to the real reason sometimes this takes a long long while to surface but support her no matter if shedefies you or not one day she will see that you are right after all

I am probably not the best person to advise , but I do agree with posts that say you need to have a heart to heart discussion with her. However, I feel the discussion shouldn't be about studies, academics or grades;I feel it should be about any problems she might be having in her personal life , but for that you'd first have to win her confidence and make her feel at ease while talking to you. I know it is difficult in such circumstances , but this probably is the best approach.Once you understand what's causing the lack of interest in studies or what's more important to her/what's bothering her , you might be in a better state to help her out. Lastly, whatever happens , have an open heart and my suggestion ,if I can call it one, is to try and be a friend first and parent later.Hopefully, things will improve :-). Perhaps trying not to show your disappointment about the academics to her while you talk to her would work better in knowing the real problem.

I know one year my youngest daughter's grades in math went down. When I took the time to talk to her and look into it, it was due to the teacher she had that year. I found out every other child in the class was doing bad also. If she won't talk to you try to find someone she will be comfortable talking to. It will help alot if you know what the problem is. Has she in the past done well with her grades? When did the grades start going down? Has anything happened during this time that could be upsetting? Talk to her teachers also. You might be able to get an idea of what is going on by not only her grades in class. But has her actions changed. If you can find out if there is something causing the grades going down hopefully you can help her through it.

There is nothing wrong with your daughter. She in no way needs counseling. I went through this stage in high school. My friends were much more important to me than my grades. Just stick to what your doing. Taking stuff away from her. Thats what my mom did and I straightened out real quick. She just doesn;t realize how important her grades will be to her in the future. right now all that matters is her friends and whats going on. I'm sure she will show improvement quickly since you have put your foot down and taken things away from her.

Hello mamasan!!! i quite understand how you feel, i have 6 siblings and only 2 are really performing well academically. modesty aside, i also did well in school despite hard days when i had no money for my snacks, when i usually go to school crying because my parents had a fight just the other night, when i had to stay up late watching over my baby sister while doing my assignments. Pretty hard then but it all paid off (i guess). When my siblings were into schooling, my parents were kind of matured and were recieving good pay enough to raise our family. I can see they were growing having a better environment than i had then. And so i couldn't understand why the failing marks???? just so disappointing. I never really understand that until i became a teacher. I had students who come to me and share about the same thing. For some, they were not performing well academically because they "intelligent" at something else like sports, music, painting and the like that are most likely right-brain intelligence. I got some advice from other educators and told me about "multiple intelligence" and this whole brain learning in classrooms. I used to teach college algebra and my students then were very poor at x's and the y's and even simple equations. So i tried a different thing like teaching variable through colored figures, teaching mathematical equations through story-telling, solving mathematical problems through various activities where they really have to move around and mingle. It paid off :-) most of my students who got a failing mark in their previous algebra class got through my class with flying colors. Maybe you can look into how subjects are taught to them in class. You said your daughter made it through PE with flying colors, maybe that's where she's good at right now. Or maybe you can try to have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter.

My mom did that to me way back when i was in highschool. As a parent you're doing the right thing. But remember, if you go overboard, you might make her a rebel. I may know not know the way your daughter thinks but just be a bit careful. She may not be able to handle all that at the same time. Might end your relationship with your daugher. If you really wanna give her all that punishment(i recommend it =D), then give it one at a time, week after week. See her progress as it goes on, if she's improving then slow down. Just let her show you her test scores. Make sure it hasn't been altered though. But that's just my opinion and you're the parent. Good luck.

i'm sorry to hear this mamasan... i know this is not easy for you... raising and educating a child on your own while your husband is in iraq is tough... i wish you all the best and i hope your conversation with your daughter helps... education is very important and it is her future... hopefully, she will realise it too... good luck...

What about making her bring home books that she made the F's and D's in, even if she doesn't have homework and make her study. You can talk to her teachers about extra homework that she can bring home as well. Then have her sit down with you when your doing yours. My oldest is only 11, but I have already told her that the grades that she will get in high school matters more than she will ever know. This time and age, jobs are getting harder and harder to come by. You can also try a scare tactic, tell her if she doesn't do good in school, where does she see's herself once high school is over. Would her dad be happy with these grades. What you have written is all good ideas. Just keep at it with her. Get her on a tight schedule, she will thank you later in life. Good Luck.

I am not a parent, but to me it sounds like you are going in the wrong direction. First, the school may not be doing a very good job of keeping her encapsulated in the subjects. Alot of times it is more about interest then ability. Second, taking away her socializing seems pretty drastic, and could even backfire on you. She needs to be able to socialize to be healthy, and pushing her in a unhealthy direction isn't going to force her to be interested in school subjects. I can see how punishment is in order on the lines of grounding or what-not, but don't think brute force is going to change her attitude. I agree with the teacher conference, but I would rather see you getting a tutor (one at a time) for each subject that makes her understand if she doesn't do her work at school then she will have to take extra time at home.

My daughter now is in her 5th grade school in elementary and in her first grading period I'm not quite satisfied with her grade also. Her big sister help her through her studies and most of the time me also but we ended up arguing and sometimes I lost temper on her. That's why I ask her teacher to take a tutorial on her so that she can make up through her grades. As a result of her exams these past few days are good and I'm glad. About your daughter don't worry maybe just a little time to spent on her studies and maybe vitamins also can help for her to coup stress in school.

Have you tried to talk to your daughter? There might some things that bothered her and cannot focus on her studies. You should have one on one discussion once in awhile to know what she wants. Show her how important education is..=)

no need to talk with other people.please talk with your daughter as a friend.Friendly ask the reason.Is she having any problem in understanding or what?..it's only you and her who can solve this..try to analyse the problem and understand your daughter.rest on you.