marry to someone loving you or someone you loved?which you will choose
By shinnis
@shinnis (55)
China
December 5, 2007 9:40pm CST
i have had two types of boyfriend, one is very romantic and tender to you . He always make me trapped in his world , having lots of fun , but he can not put all his heart to you , he has the career , he is increasing his charming , so he always had new chasers , many girls like his charming outlook and confident character. So i was hurt by such things.
The second type of man is who has no experience of love. He always think working hard will ensure a good wife and a good future but ignore his love personality. He is a very boring man and can not have a lot of romantic ideas and when he looks the girl's eyes ,he is like a coward and hasn't lots of confidence . I feel opressed and bored . Hope to run away .But he is very excellent in work and resonponsible to life.
So girls who you will choose ,boys ,can you also give me some ideas ?
5 people like this
20 responses
@makatas (1098)
• Greece
6 Dec 07
I would marry the girl with whom i would feel more comfortable with. Love must be mutual and respect, caring and tenderness should also be there between us. Marriage isnt a matter of who loves whom, but a lot of other factors as well.Carreer and successful work doesnt mean something important to me either. As long as i feel well and important what i got her by my side, and she feels the same with me, then its already ok for both.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
6 Dec 07
I am just wondering, why do you have 2 boyfriends. You are supposed to have only one and be faithful to him.
As a girl, my advice for you would be NONE. You should choose neither of them. Love is when the one you love also loves you. In your case, it seems like you like the Romantic boyfriend but he does not seem to like you as much because he does not give you all his heart.
The Boring guy seems to like you but you do not like him because you mentioned you feel like running away from him when you are with him.
None of the guy is suitable. You should go for the one you love and also love you. You are still young and I am sure you can find such a guy.
@shinnis (55)
• China
6 Dec 07
Maybe you took wrong about my meaning.
I said i have ever had two kinds of boyfriends. But i can not have two boyfriends at the same time. I just wonder which boy the girl will choose . I find it difficult to find the right people in this world .Everything has two coins , love is a thing mixed with reality and romancy.
Sometimes i am at a loss,and can not have feeling to the people around . So i prefer to be single and don't get hurt by the loving trouble things.
@shinnis (55)
• China
7 Dec 07
Being single sometimes will make you more charmingful .
If you have had boyfriend but you may not marry him , this will trouble you a lot . I cook for him everytime, and he never help me with the housework. He come to live with me ,just like a baby ,my room will become a mess very quickly .And i will be late the second day mornign for his not getting up early . I think i should dumpt him for his so much fault to impose on me . I don;t love him as deeply as before .He always bring me a lot of trouble .
Be a single is so free. I am too kind to such man . It is not worthy.HuH~~
@luping0513 (127)
• China
14 Dec 07
hello,i.m very glad to make friends with you.i.m an undergraduate.I have graduated my university in July this year.At this present, i have no girlfriend.In my opinion, as a man,it is important to buid up our career.mabye, i haven;t meet with her who i love the type of girl.i'll work hard .i think i\ll make it . HEHE
@shinnis (55)
• China
16 Dec 07
I have my taste. Not all the good men who work hard with some charming points can meet all the good girls' requirements. This is my point. It depends to the feelings first meet and the hope if continue to develop the relationship and produce the deep emotion love .
Love is long and difficult .
@JeremyEdison (281)
• China
6 Dec 07
in my opinion,maybe the first can be a lover,but not a husband.the second can be the husband .the third choice ,find another one who you loved and love you.
@shinnis (55)
• China
14 Dec 07
Thank you for your advice.
The man first is my first love .It was he that let me know the true love inside. I never forgot the taste of love ,so sweet with a lot of bitter ,for it is a complicated love story , with three person . The moment i lost him , i always cried and cried . I was blind by this emotion .My mind is filled with the sad views , his cruelty to leave me , his tender to hold me , i can not see others onside him.
Now he and she broke , he also loved me more and more even though he and she still has a little contact . I have seen a lot of realistic things , his cool apearance ,his leaving and coming in my life can not bring me a sense called safe . And he is very poor , some custom in life we can not share . So i decided to leave him .
I want to find some one really close in my heart , dig up my love inside again . I am still young , i will be brave enough and patient enough to wait for the beloved man in my life .
@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
6 Dec 07
I don't know how things in relationships work in China but if I had to choose between those 2 I would talk to both of them. You said that the first one hurt you so I wouldn't consider him for marriage. Every person needs to feel happy and loved and secure by the person she/he loves and if you know that this guy would hurt you , you shouldn't think about him even if he was the best looking man in the world. And about the other one, if he is just behaving according to what your culture says he should do then you should talk to him and tell him that you know that he tries very hard to get himself a good wife but that he needs to pay more attention to you and he should try to make you happy. If he can't think of anything romantic maybe you should test him and do something romantic by your self and see the way he reacts to it. Maybe he surprises you.
@janey821113 (6)
• China
7 Dec 07
Talking about your happiness in the future, you are suggested to spending a while getting along with the second boy. Just forget about the first boy, for he doesn't love you at all according to what you've described, all that he wanted from you maybe is a sense of satisfaction.
@diamondtry (1)
• Indonesia
6 Dec 07
I like to be single. I'm a single mom. Men are annoying, better take care of children than husband. i don't like to get married.
@daisyduanli (5)
• China
6 Dec 07
I like to be single too. Right now it is impossiple for me to spending so much time thinking which one i should love or marry. I enjoy walking around or chatting with my friends without love affairs.
@shinnis (55)
• China
7 Dec 07
SOme man is so annoying ,this is really a fact .See my experience , this will be the proof.
They sometimes think girl is just managing the household and he goes for the big bizthings . So they like a baby with nothing to help you at home ,watch tv without listening to you. Eat things after you cooked it and don;'t help you clean it after eating . I hate such man .
@bishu_sinha (1457)
• India
6 Dec 07
Sometimes changes are for the good and sometimes it may not be... I have walked through different changes,some good some bad, but the intreasting fact about all the changes that has occur in ones life are finally a matter to be laughed at.... Just think for a second about a change that has drastically changed your life....
You ought to feel it as a joke....... If not it means you are taking life too seriously ... What i have learned and advised my friends throughout my life is that life and its process itself is a big complex of sort you dont have to do anything extra to make it more complex.....
We are living in a world where changes are a common phenomena. But remember my dear readers, the changes which happen naturally or ones changed by you learn to lenjoy your life bcoz 80 years of life is nothing as far as a human being is cocerned.... Learn to love and to be loved always. Then you will never feel that life has changed you .....................................
@shinnis (55)
• China
6 Dec 07
Thank you for your good golden advice .
This is the reality . Life ,surroundings ,people ,attitude are changing so fast . Don't always take one person or one fact as the truth. People made the proverb,but people are not perfect and acient guy are past away.They never could live in our modern world again .So some complicated things they can not come to a real abosolute conclusion .
Now the attitude to find a right one for me is very different from before. Because when i am chaning myself,outlook ,apperance ,career . So i always changing my standard ,but always i just want the life happy ,beautiful with the guy i will wait.
I believe i will gain the last happy as long as i hold the belief in it . Experience something is the bad thing to do . Just love who you love ,dislike who you don't like . Dont be tough about that ,take the love the marriage as the bad things the heavey load to carry ,in this way i think i will get final happiness .Let it be natural . ^^
@cnetboss (2473)
• Philippines
7 Dec 07
Choose non, The world is not limited to these two types of personality.
@mizrak07 (557)
• Philippines
6 Dec 07
If you're choosing who to marry, I think no one from the two. How can you marry the first one when you say you are hurt by what he does, because from the way I understand it you are not his priority. The second one you hope to run away from so obviously you cannot marry him.
For me though, as I believe that charming personality and all that goes with it is not that important, I'll choose the second one. He's not confident and he's boring but he's responsible and most of all he loves me. That qualities will make me love him too and will not make me hope to run away.
@cosylvia (399)
• China
6 Dec 07
maybe the second one is better than the first one,for me i dont like the charming coz i am not a confidence girl,and dont wanna to plough so much energy to the boring feelong,so if marry,i will choose a responsible man..but looking from your expression you dont like the second one..
@nkhanna (922)
• India
6 Dec 07
well reading your discussion i think you should not go for anyone.because none of them are meant for your choice.i guess its someone else only.however if i had to choose between the two,i would go for the one who loves me.might be he cannot express his love to me the way i want but one thing is damn sure that he will love you and take good care of yuo.however in today's world only these two elements are not enough for a good marriage.on the other hand you will always be insecure about the other guy since he is very charming.so i will suggest you to wait for someone who you love and he inturn loves you as well.
@shinnis (55)
• China
6 Dec 07
Thank you for your advice . I have chosen broken with the first one thoroughly one week ago . Actually i suggest to be away from him before .But i have a soft heart and can not let myself away from him totally. So sometimes he miss me again and i will agree him to meet. Because i also miss two hearts' life before. I just can not help to make myself apart from him forever though i don't think he is a very safe guy and need a long time to know and live together . We are too young to carry too much reality loads ,such as money to buy house , i can not bear my parents dislikeness words about him.
I ever loved just one guy .He let me know the bitter and sweet of true love. And i will not easily accept the second man's heart. I told i sometimes want to run away . So i never let myself accept the second pieces of love.
I will wait the right boy to catch my hand and don't leave me apart . I will cherish it value it forever.
@fanji008 (775)
• China
6 Dec 07
Hi,there! The best choice would be you love the person,he loves you as well.So as what you mentioned about the first type,if he concentrates on you only,I think there's no problem even if he's very attractive.The thing is that whether he'll turn to other girls around him or he's very clear and only has an eye on you.If I can't be together with my beloved who also loves me,I'll choose the one who loves me but not the one that I love to get married.I think if you get married with the one you love but doesn't love you,you'll have a hard time and you'll be so tried.While with the one who loves you,you'll feel much happier and more relaxed. Hopefully you'll find the best one for you:)Best regards and have a nice day^_^
@happydays (9)
• India
7 Dec 07
here is one thing ,its better to marry someone who like you .he can feel for you
@sweetsagittarius (64)
• China
7 Dec 07
Maybe you have another better choice.There are so many people in the world,can't you find someone loving you and you loving him too?The first man you said is attractive,but he is not credible.The other man is too savorless,or you can consider to change him if you have confidence to him.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
6 Dec 07
If you are a Praying person, I would say you need to Pray about it, and then decide from there. I feel that there is always 1 person out there for each person, and when the time is right, you will know. Wishing you the Best in your decision, and make sure not to rush into anything you might regret in the future.
@VKXY62 (1605)
• Australia
6 Dec 07
Ha ha, ah what a decision to make, ah well, I would go with the 'run away' choice and look for what it is that you actually want. I am sure that there are more than just a couple of fella's there in Shanghai.
You are seeming to be wanting to choose from what you have at the moment. Walk to the next stall girl, and have a look over there.
:-)
@subha12 (18441)
• India
6 Dec 07
I think this is a difficult situation. in both the cases there are some problem. it is also true that no person is absolutely perfect in this world . each has some negative point associated with him/her.
It is the question how much you canm cope up with.
I think here both of those are not suitable.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
6 Dec 07
I am just wondering, why do you have 2 boyfriends. You are supposed to have only one and be faithful to him.
As a girl, my advice for you would be NONE. You should choose neither of them. Love is when the one you love also loves you. In your case, it seems like you like the Romantic boyfriend but he does not seem to like you as much because he does not give you all his heart.
The Boring guy seems to like you but you do not like him because you mentioned you feel like running away from him when you are with him.
None of the guy is suitable. You should go for the one you love and also love you. You are still young and I am sure you can find such a guy.
@bong_domingo (878)
• Philippines
6 Dec 07
i think none of the two.... i mean it would be better to have a man who really loves and you really enjoy loving him too...
@Leigh_char11 (42)
• Philippines
6 Dec 07
i woul want to marry someone who loves me...its hard if you amrry the one you loved...
