Feeling Guilty?

Yes I know exactly what you mean. I have a kind heart too and love to give more than recieve. I give a lot to charity and I go to Church and this Christmas I bought gifts for people who otherwise wouldn't get many. I spent quite a lot of money. I love to give to charity and I love to give when I can. Sometimes when people ask for money for charity you wonder how much will actually be given and how much will go into their pockets. When people sell scratch cards only 10 % is given to charity the rest is kept and then given as wages and towards material costs. I set up a support group for people with OCD obsessive compulsive disorder. I have mental health problems myself and when my husband broke his leg and I had to cope on my own with my 2 year old daughter and at the time I was studying to be a counsellor. I had to give it all up as I couldn't mannage. I gave up my dream of helping others because I needed help myself, but then I felt like a failure because I couldn't cope. Now I have had to come to terms with the fact that I am a full time mum and my job is looking after my daughter and my home. This is rewarding but, I still feel like I have failed. I was in my last year as a counsellor and had to give it all up. People make you feel guilty they expect you to go out have a career and still bring up a child. Sometimes you need to look after yourself and put others after you and sometimes this is a gift in itself. Sometimes we have to say no and this is a gift because we cannot always give, but sometimes we need to recieve. Sometimes it can be a blessing to say no. Other people don't know your situation, but I know how they can make you feel guilty for not giving. There are other ways you can give apart from money you can give your time and energy into helping someone with the little things like helping someone do some cleaning or tidying. Helping out in a soup kitchen. You can do little things like baking a cake for someone in need. However you can only do so much of this kind of giving as well. You have to look after yourself or you won't be able to give to others. Only take so much on remembering if you take too much on you will eventually burn yourself out and need some rest so only take as much as you can mannage.

I try to donate as much as I can to a couple of specific charities and I will usually contribute to others as well, depending on the cause. I must admit I haven't often encountered pushy collectors but even though they're not pushy I still feel guilty if I can't afford to donate. I think it's maybe because I've done my share of fund-raising and I know how grim it can be standing rattling a tin in the street or wherever. That's when you discover how rude and abusive some people can be!

Those kind of people remind me of the pushy used car salesman. I wish I could do more for some of the charities we have here in Houston. I have given clothes and occasionaly a little money. I figure a few coins wont break me. But I have learned that I have to pick and choose and that some people will always be pushy. They try to make me feel guilty. I dont go for it.

Oh yes!!!! One year I was able to afford to give ALOT of money to a very good charity and for christmas bought enough toys that some little child was VERY happy. But I have been in the same situation (like this year) when I was pushed and pushed and its not that I dont want to help them but its that I can't help because I am counting EVERY single penny that I have from paycheck to paycheck. It hurts not to be able to give back for what I have been able to receive but people need to realize that we all have hard times too!

It has happened to me a few times as well... but I can't really blame the people. There are definitely people out there who won't donate just because they are stingy, even if they are well off. Sometimes, the extra pushing and prodding will help out the charity in a big way, if they can coax out a donation. Also, you figure that the charity is making you guilty for a good cause... even though they are trying to pull on your heart strings, they only want to help those in need. Sometimes we don't like it, but in the end I think it does more help than harm.

I completey agree, I am also known as someone with a bleeding heart. I wish people who do that stuff for charities would understand. Just this past christmas my husband and I did not have much money but the extra we had we gave to salvation army and a family his store adopted for the holidays...but then we were at the mall walking around and some older gentleman with a charity hounded us for 5 minutes. he asked if we could spare a dollar and my husband told him sorry all we have is our debit card,which was true and the man asked me if i had any money and I responded no i am very sorry i don't,well then the old man looked at my husband and said that he wouldn't have taken me out if since i was not carrying any cash. He was so rude!

I have had it happen to me. My husband used to work Afternoon Shift and you know when the collectors came, during the afternoon after four when those husbands who worked the day shift was home, but since my husband worked in the afternoon, it was me. The only money I received was my small pension of less than $90 plus maybe $20 to $100 working on line. They looked so pathetic and looking at the house, you would assume that we were well off, but our house was small, and we got where we were by scrimping. True we have a DVd, tV, etc. but everything was paid for by cutting back on food and not going to restaurants, and the money these people was what they assumed would be out of my husband's paycheck, so I was not expected to give them one dollar, they wanted something like $200 or more. I had to tell them no, that it was my money and I already gave at my church and donated elsewhere. I did not feel that guilty, it is not supposed to be a means of making a person poorer or that you are making too much. Charity is supposed to help the indignent, not to make the giver poorer.

The pushy charity collectors actually make me angry, those charity collectors aiming some people working Abroad, whether they have good or bad job. They ask 10 times more than that a common man's amount. I either pay only the amount the common people give or bit more. For the homeless people I never gave food Items from market yet, some time I have gave money and also some food when they come to our home. Always I don't give money, depends on mood. Onetime a big man with healthy body came to my home asking money and said from some other sate, and gave nothing when he left my mom murmured, "can't that man use his health to do some work", then he looked to us like a buffalo and gone .. LOL. And another time I have seen two guys, they are well dressed in executive style, and they are asking for dress and compel us to give my jeans and pants hanging on the anchor. I didn't kick him off, that only remains :)

Isn't it strange that those of us who have no reason to feel guilty are often the ones who feel the most guilty? I, too, feel bad when there are times that I just can't give. Like you, I give when I can. I feel I am fairly generous. Just remember, true giving comes from your heart. You know what your intentions are, so don't let anyone make you feel bad!