Am I doing it right?

In my opinion you are probably spoiling just a little bit. Does he understand when you say no? We spend a lot of time doing things and getting things for my daughter but when I tell her no she understands. She is not quite as old as your son. She is only 2 but you do not want him going through life thinking he can get anything he wants at anytime he wants. Good luck.

i would think you're on your way to spoiling. i do that for my son too though i'm much stricter than my hubby on this. you should buy him but you should also know when to limit him. if he always keeps getting what he wants, later on he might throw tantrums if he doesn't get them making it tougher for you. i do that for my son and so far he's ok. recently my hubby's been like never mind, buy for him and always buys something. so now my son is always asking my hubby to buy this buy that. even when we're not going out. my son will also be 5 this dec by the way. so they're more or less the same age. he has also filled one sack already. i told my hubby we can't keep buying like this. next time when there's another baby we can't afford it so need to discipline now.

MY daughter is soon to be 3. My husband when she was younger would insist on buying her something every payday or if he had a little extra money. Of course we had to stop because of the space. And now all we do is buy her a little something IF she behaves, its incentive but then she is 2! I agree with the person who said you are n your way to spoiling him. My ex mother in law does that with my older daughters and my oldest is now starting to measure love with how much money spent on her and shes 9!!

I guess you have spoiled your child already. I have a five-year old daughter too but she knows that we can only afford toys not more than PHP100. We buy her more expensive toys only on special occasions so that she'll have something to look forward too. She also knows how to take good care of her toys, she got I guess 4 boxes of toys and nothing is broken (we either dispose off broken toys or have it fixed). We did not buy most her toys, they are either gifts or "inheritance" from my sister who is a year older than her. When she wants something expensive that we cant really afford or we find impractical to buy, we just tell her to ask her aunt and grandmom in the US to buy her the toy she wanted. i'm glad she knows how to wait and listen to our explanations.

Unfortunately, there is no users manual that you get when your child is born. We all have to give it our best and hope we're doing the right thing. I can not make a call as to if you are spoiling your son or not. But, as a father of three, I can say there is one thing that you must do. Be consistent. If you think you are doing the wrong thing when you buy him a toy every time, you are now in a position that you can not just stop because YOU think it is wrong. There must be a valid reason. If he is not throwing a tantrum or causing problem, I would be inclined to say that there is no reason to change your style. However, rather than going some where that perks his desire for you to buy something, try an outing to a location that would keep his interest but doesn't require you to buy him anything. Or maybe avoid shops all together if possible. Get him to be interested in something other than shopping. Change the environment for your outings and see how he reacts. I would only stop buying him something if he acts up and only then make him realize he can not just have everything he wants. But it sounds like this is not the problem. Try different settings. Then you have removed the major portion of your worry. I would be interested to see how this works out.

i also have a five year old, well i am not saying that you are doin it wrong, i know there is that feeling that you cannot just help but give in to the child, but anyway, i will just share what i do. Before I even gave birth, i promised myself that i would raise my daughter in such a way that he/she would grow as a nice responsible person. What I usually do is when she asks me for something, I present it as a reward because of something good she did. In that way she'll grow up knowing that life is not getting always what you want but earning it. It is ok to splurge on infants, but for kids who are beginning already to understand the world, it is better that little by littl, we inculcate to them how life should be handled.:)

I think that is your sole decision and you have to think about it. YOu only have to make the decsision about your child.

i have an and 8 yr old a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old my 6 yr old doesn't get everything he wants because me or his father can't afford it , my oldest lives with my mom and my stepdad and they would get her whatever she wanted and still do because they don't feel like fighting with her when she throws a fit cause she doesn't get what she wants. in my opinion you can raise your child however you chose as long as your not beating the crap out of him. (which i don't think you are) jsut don't give in to him when you say no mean it don't let him throwing a hissy fit change your mind. you can even teach him a value of a dollar by telling him that you want him to go thru all his old toys and pick out all the ones that he doesn't like anymore and sell them and tell him that he can get a new toy with the money he makes from the old ones

hi, well for me yes your spoiling your child. because as you said your child has lots of toy already and its just stock.you can buy him anything as long as he really needs it.it's a big help for him also.you should teach him that everything is not just easy to get.i have a child too shes 6 years old and she want to buy everything also but we always tell her that we can buy but the important only. and she understand it. and right now she is the one who telling us that we should not buy if it's not important.:)it's good that your focus all your time to your son and it's enough and that is the very important that you show to him how you love him and care for him. hope it's could help .thanks

I do this for my daughter when we go shopping. She is only 2 but once she understands a little bit better she has money that I have been saving everytime someone gives her cash for her birthday or Christmas. I will tell her she has that much and once she spends it thats it so they can learn about spending money. I think it would be a good idea for you to do that with your son. When she gets alittle older I will also give her some money for doing things around the house.

You are on your way to raising a person who will expect instant gratification all the time. What happens when you cannot afford it some day or what if he cannot afford something as he is older. He will be so used to getting everything he wants that he will not be able to handle not getting things. He will end up thinking anything he wants should be his. People like this will often charge up credit cards because they have to have things and have not learned how to wait for something they want or how to work for something. Children need to learn how to work toward something they want and to save for it so they will not end up in financial trouble later in life.

Yes definately! A child should not expect special treatment, and you have been teaching him to do just that. Your child should not be able to insist that his parents do anything. Who is the boss in your family, you or your child? Its time you decided, and took measures to act upon it. If you don't, the time will come when you will wish that you had!

He sounds like a very lucky boy raised by loving parents that dote on him and give him lots of loving affection. 2 sacks of toys does not sound too bad for a 4 year old, I think my three year old has about the same. I think there is nothing wrong with taking your son to the movies and window shopping, that is great. However maybe you should not buy him something everytime as he might come to expect that everytime he goes to the shop he gets a gift. Also he then he will not appreciate things you buy him as much. But him gifts once in a while. But spending quality time with him like you do is the best gift your child could ever have.

You know what, we were exactly the same with our children, anything they wanted if we could afford it they would have it. Maybe it is spoiling I dont know, I didnt feel that it was, but what stopped me doing it was this, because they were getting everthing they wanted all the time, they stopped appreciating it, they would have it and then within weeks or even days they would break it and it would upset me. So I stopped, and now they only get the things they really really want for christmas and they get a little something they want for their birthday, and if they do really well at school they get a reward of some kind, they also do jobs in the house to earn money so that they can buy the little toys they want, then if they break them then thats their money they have wasted. And this has worked and they are now starting to appreciate all the things that they get. But its lovely that you take him out every week to the movies and that, I wouldnt say that was spoiling him, I would say thats like quality bonding time you are having, but buying him something all the time may lead to spoiling.

As long as he understands that he gets the toys and treats when you can afford it then that should be ok. My kids have far more than they need! They know that they don't get anything if they misbehave but they don't expect things. What you are doing is ok but you shouldn't let him insist or expect. He should be old enough for you to explain that he can't always have something. If you thin he has too many things, you could ask him if he would like to give something to a child who is not so lucky and maybe say that for each toy he gives away, he can then have a new one. There is nothing at all wrong with giving your kids all you can give them. He's lucky (and so are you) that you have the means to give him so much. I would just say that he needs to know that.

Unfortunately, it's definitely spoiling. If a child gets used to having what they want every time they ask for it, then they will continue to expect it as they get older. They will never be able to fully understand the value of saving for what they want because they will just think of it as - why bother - when i can just ask for it & get it like i always do. I think at the age of 5, you should probably stop buying what he wants, when he wants it. I think little gifts every now & again are fine but you don't want to be doing it when he wants it, he'll never get out of that habit. Especially since you say that when you go out, he insists you get it & you give in - kids should not demand things & if they do, they really should be told NO, demanding things is pretty disrespectful & you don't want this behaviour to go on so that he still does it as an adult. Good luck :)

I had 4 children and no resources to buy them even near everything they wanted, but I would say that you are on your way to spoiling. I have a son who has 2 children and he is doing the same with his 2, without the money for such spending, and I tell him that it is not important to buy them everything that they need. They will know that they are loved and if they are given only things they have earned or only things now and then, they will learn to appreciate the things that they do have. His children are good with their toys, though, and he is now passing the ones they have outgrown on to his sister's child. There will come a point where you won't be able to give him what he wants and then what?

No you're not. Spoiling your child in such a way doesn't teach him to appreciate anything and everything he recieves but instead he'll start EXPECTING to get something every time you take him out. If he doesn't learn that he can't or won't be getting something every time then he'll learn to be very unappreciative of all he gets and he'll start throwing temper tantrums every time you take him out and not buy him something. He needs to learn the value of the dollar and in doing so he needs to learn how to earn his toys by doing things such as cleaning his room, making his bed, and putting his dishes in the sink. By doing those things he'll learn the value of the dollar.

It's fun to buy toys for your child, and you can afford it. However, if you let him have a new toy everytime you go out, he is learning to expect these treats. I'd like to see you say "Not today" sometimes. Let the toys be treats instead of expected. He has two bags of toys at home and doesn't really want them after the novelty wears off, true? He's young -- giving into his INSIST is going to get bigger as he gets older. So stop now :)

Hello jpso138, for my opinion your on the way to spoiling your son. Try not buying him the things he want then observe his reaction. If he just let it go then your child is not spoiled yet. But if he really cries and is starting to have tantrums then you should start disciplining him.