Why Unfaithfulness Occurs in some Relationships?
By angeljenn
@angeljenn (894)
Zaragoza, Spain
February 14, 2008 7:49am CST
I don't know why unfaithfulness occurs in some relationships? I mean, why it has to be that way? Why would they not stick to their loved ones forever? Why would they cheat those who were so faithful to them, all this time?
I have so many questions in my mind, because my bestfriend told me her sad story...her boyfriend cheated on her...she thought she had a great relationship with that person, that they had great memories too, but only to find out in the end, that her boyfriend got married to another girl...i feel so sad and sorry for my bestfriend, and the worst thing is, up until now, she's still in love with that bad guy who broke her heart and cheated on her...i told her to move on, but she just won't...she told me that he is her life...
The same thing happened to one of my male friends...his girlfriend cheated on him too, and he found out when he saw her dating with another guy in a mall...
I don't know what's happening with our world today...that's really so unfair...after all what had happened to some of my friends, being cheated in a relationship, i don't know if i would still believe in a perfect relationship with a happily ever after ending story...
Do you know why unfaithfulness occurs in some relationships?
5 people like this
16 responses
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
14 Feb 08
Yes... I do know
And it has been that way since the beginning of time. It did not start yesterday.
The cases you mention are actually a good thing. It is much better to find out before getting married than after being married.
Two people fall in love... but usually... one is more in love than the other. People fall in love overnight without knowing anything about each other. Then they go on a path of discoveries about each other.
Love is blind and makes you accept all sort of faults in your partner... that you should not accept... because this blindess won't last for very long.
So... when one finally open his/her eyes and see their lover for what they really are... they bail out and move on... while the other is still blind and still in love.
Love is an emotion which makes you feel good... but unless it is base on something solid... it does not mean anything. Loving someone is not enough. You have to do everything which is require to make them love you in return.
Nobody is going to love you... just because you love them. That is the biggest mistake people make.
@cindrel_27 (89)
•
14 Feb 08
Hi Aussies
i agree with you in this aspect, yes people who love the other person does not just love them as they are, but love them with an axpectation, so when their expectation are not met to the standard, they are disappointed,
Always expectation leeds to disappointment.
But true love never expects anything in return, they just accept their partner as they are, & feel happy in all the thngs they do,
I liked the way you have discribed
Take care
Have a Blessed day
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
14 Feb 08
true love never expects anything in return.
That is correct. But before achieving true love... you still need to meet all the requirements to make you compatible with each other. You don't just fall in love with anybody. You need the right chemistry.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to you thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts to my discussion...yes, i do agree with you...it didn't started just now but even before since the time began...yeah, it's better that they've found out already before getting married to those people who weren't so true to them...but you know, i really feel so sad and sorry for my bestfriend, because up until now, she won't get over with that bad person who cheated on her...she's still in love with him and that's really so sad to know...
I understand, that two people fall in love, but usually, one is more in love than the other...and that's really so unfair on the part of the one who's so in love...yes, i do agree that love is blind, because when you love the person, you accept that person's all sorts of faults...yes, i totally agree with you, that loving someone is not enough, you have to do everything to make them love you in return, but i think my bestfriend did all her everything, but still it isn't just enough...that bad guy doesn't really deserves my bestfriend's love...i know GOD will give her the right man for her...i do hope and pray things will get well to my bestfriend, she will move on, forget her bad past experience, and she will be happy and not be sad again...
Thank you for sharing those here in my discussion...it seems that you know everything about love...and i am so thankful that i've learned something more about love...thanks really for sharing about it...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family more and more blessings!!!
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Yes, the seeds of desception are sowed early in a relationship. Most of the time we are not aware that this is going on but it does as we are the last to know.
I did this to a girl I went with for two years in college. It seemed to being a good relationship until I found another girl that sort of was more exciting and she treated me like I was so special. So I broke up with my first girlfriend although I still cared for her but I did it in a very abrupt and cold manner.
The new relationship did not last long. As soon as I went into the military the same night or the next night she went out with my close friend and cousin and they did have a fling. But when I was in Basic training I got a Dear John letter and I was so busy with the training that it really did not bother me at the time.
But when I first got home on leave...many months latter I met her in a parking lot and she was already engaged to another guy..and they were married about 35 years and that ended in divorce. I have no desire to see her but it was ironic how it turned out and my first love ended up married with children right after we separated and soon divorced after her second born was born. I always wondered if the first child was mine as she had him so close to our break up but she probably was doing something with behind my back...but I always wonder..Mama's baby..papa's maybe.?
2 people like this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
3 Mar 08
Yes, I too believe i Karrama and fate and how you live your life will determine what will unfold in your life later on. I had been a cad and broke up with a trusting lady and she was hurt..but another women did the same to me so the story goes on and on until we learn from our mistakes and live a life that wil bring us more positive results. Not all bad things are good and not all good things are bad we use life as a learning experience from day to day.
Life is always a journey and never a destination..we keep traveling hoping someday to achieve our ultimate goals...Dare to be great and great you will be.. dream the immpossible dream..for what is heaven for?
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
3 Mar 08
yes, karma is really true...i do believe on that...yeah, we all do mistakes and we've all learned from our mistakes...life teaches us to be strong and never give up...nobody's perfect in this world, only GOD...but we do try to be perfect in order to do HIS right will for all of us...and i'm blessed to know that you've learned from your mistakes...as long as there is life there is hope...and we have to have faith and trust GOD so that in the end, we'll end up with HIM in heaven, the home and paradise of all good children of GOD...always believe, anything can happen if you just believe...have a great day ahead of U...may GOD shower U & UR family with lots of blessings, good life, happiness, lots of love, and with good health, today and always!!!
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
3 Mar 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your story to my discussion...i really do appreciate it...yeah, i do agree with you, that most of the time people are not aware that it's going on, and they would just end up being the last to know...like what had happened to some of my friends, and that's really so sad...about your story, you're having a 2 year relationship with your first girlfriend when you were still in college, and then you broke up with her and jumped into a new relationship with another girl whom you thought that she was more exciting and treated you so special...but in the end, she cheated on you and got married to another guy...
Now talking about your first love, you thought that probably she was doing something behind your back...well, in my own point of view, i really have no right to judge other people...i mean, i am not saying that you should not judge her but it's just that you don't know what's really the truth behind all what's happening in her life...maybe you're right, that she had your first child, but it can be also that child isn't yours...you have to make sure first to prove that her first child is yours...
You said that you broke up with her because you've found a new love, maybe she became depressed and sad like what's happening to my bestfriend when she found out that her bad boyfriend got married to another girl...i guess, the main point there is, don't do unto others what you don't want others do unto you...it's not really good to hurt others feelings...and that's really a good moral lesson in life...i really do believe in karma...karma really works... GOD will reward those good people who were willing to do all HIS will...i really feel sorry and sad for my bestfriend who's up until now can't move on, and still sad...anyway, thanks really for sharing your story...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
2 people like this
@manigandan18 (243)
• India
1 Mar 08
s its mainly due to misunderstanding dude ....
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
2 Mar 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your reply to my discussion...i really do appreciate it...yeah, i do agree with you, maybe because of misunderstandings...i do feel sorry and sad for my bestfriend because until now, she isn't over with that bad guy who broke her heart...i'm the only one whom she can count on, and have a cry with...she treats me as her sister as i treated her as my sister too...i have no sister, i'm the only daughter in my family, but i have a brother...my bestfriend is the only daughter in her family, that's why she's treating me as her sister...i hope and pray she will move on and forget all her sorrows and pain...thanks really for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I don't know why your friends' partners cheated. There could be any reasons or no good reason at all.But don't let this make you give up on love. There are many people who don't cheat.
The main reason I know of for cheating is boredom, not with their partners but with themselves. So they have affairs.But that doesn't fit for everyone. the sad thing is that you may never know.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
17 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your good thoughts to my discussion...there's no reason for the person to cheat the one he/she loves, if he/she doesn't want to be with his/her partner, then he/she should tell it directly to his/her partner...my friends really don't deserve to be cheated, they were good, loyal, faithful, and GOD fearing...yeah, i do agree with you, we shouldn't give up on love...i would always tell that to some of my friends who were cheated but they still love those people who cheated on them, they're sad, and just don't want to move on...but i still hope and pray that they will be happy and move on... GOD will make a way...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
2 people like this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
15 Feb 08
Some people look for love elsewhere when their partner makes them feel unloved or worthless. I think that's understandable.
Some people cheat just because they want to screw around. Those are the pigs who don't deserve to be loved.
2 people like this
@TravisE (440)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I believe those who cheat are the ones who want to screw around and are not in a situation where there is an openness to discuss that desire. So, the ones who cheat are the ones who want to screw around AND hide there desires and activities from there partners.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
17 Feb 08
i do respect your views and opinions travise...yeah, i do agree with you those who cheats wants to screw around...which is really not good because it causes too much disaster, bitterness, and hurtfulness on the part of those who were cheated...and i can see some of my friends who were cheated having that kind of situation, like they're life's been devastated after what happened...that's a sad truth...but i am hoping and praying things will work well to them...thanks for sharing...may GOD BLESS U & UR family with so much blessings and good health!!!
1 person likes this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your thoughts to my discussion...i do respect your views and opinions...those people who cheats really don't deserve to be loved...and it's so sad to know that my bestfriend still loves her bad boyfriend after all what had happened...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I've been cheated on before in a few relationships. It's always hard, but that person is unhappy in some way or has some other type of problem(s).
If someone cheats, the relationship is probably not meant to be, especially with all these lies and deceptions going on. ... Not to mention potential spread of STDs!
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
1 Mar 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your beautiful thoughts to my discussion...i really do appreciate it...that's really sad to hear that you've been cheated on before in a few relationships and it's always hard for you...yeah, i do agree with you, if someone cheats, the relationship is really not meant to be...i feel sad and sorry for my bestfriend who still love that bad guy who broke her heart and got married to another girl...i hope and pray that she will move on, and be happy because she's always sad...there should be no cheatings and lies in all relationships...and i do agree with what you said, cheating can cause the spreading of STD's and AIDS, which are very dangerous nowadays...thanks really for sharing your story to my discussion...just keep on praying and trusting GOD...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
15 Feb 08
Well it ha so many reasons.Discontentment is the main reason.If you don't know how to be happy with what you have and how to reciprocate the happiness you tend to veer off from the normal path of life.
Second the immaturity and intolerance among the partners.You just cannot expect your partner to be 100% perfect all the time and you are also not that perfect.So if there is no give and take in the life the cheating starts.
You can go on on this subject.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your response to my discussion...i really appreciate it...yeah, you're right, nobody's perfect...but cheaters should have conscience too in doing those stuff to their loved ones...discontentment, not happy, immaturity, or other stuffs, are not an excuse for cheating your love, if they really want to break up with their loved ones, then they should tell and not do it behind their loved one's back...that would be so unfair...and that's what's happening to some of my friends right now, feeling so sad and depressed...i hope and pray, they will move on and live a happy life...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
15 Feb 08
i think the main cause of its is the attitude problem with some people.They think they will just enjoy the life by playing the game of love.
i have seen this very closely.
one of my so called good friend was very nice to me when i was in the same city. it was for the reason that he wanted to get many advantages.
but after some time, when i moved back to my own hometown, he started avoiding me. its due to the fact that he was not getting those favours what he used to get in the same city.
he even proposed me once.
thank God I declined. what would have happened to me if i accepted. he is a real cheat.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your experience to my discussion...i really appreciate it...yeah, i agree with you, maybe the main cause of it is the attitude problem with some people out there who loves playing...it's good to know that you didn't accept that guy's proposal, good for you, thank GOD... GOD will provide the right guy for you...thanks really for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family!!!
1 person likes this
@kat_princess (1470)
• Philippines
18 Feb 08
It depends on the cheaters' reasons why they are unfaithful.It saddens me too but we just have to accept that some things are not meant to be.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
18 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your thoughts to my discussion...yeah, i do agree with you, we have to accept that some things aren't just meant to be, but not in that kind of manner cheating their partners because things are not meant to be...that would be so not fair especially for those people who were hoping that their relationships with those bad people are truly meant to be, like what's happening to some of my friends...that's really a sad fact in life...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
15 Feb 08
That would really hurt if my boyfriend cheated on my and actually ended up married. WOW But I think what happens for some is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. And like most crimes you just don't think you will get caught. I have had it happen to me and vice versa. Not a good thing to do or have happen to you.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your thoughts to my discussion...yeah, i agree with you, it's not really a good thing to do or have happen to you...yeah, it's really hurtful to be cheated, i've seen some of my friends going through on that kind of situation, being sad and always crying...and i feel really so sad and sorry for them...i guess, all we need to do is pray and have faith in GOD... GOD will make a way...whatever happens, HE will never leave you nor forsake you...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@TravisE (440)
• United States
14 Feb 08
I do know why it occurs in some relationships, and I do not know why it occurs in others.
It seems to me that the largest contributor to difficulties is an environment where one, or both, members are not welcome to speak the honest truth. The second largest is unrealistic expectations.
If the "unfaithful" partners in these examples had been welcome to share any dissatisfaction that came up, or were allowed to express that their interest had been piqued by another, they may not have been moved to "cheat."
If my wife were feeling that there was something she was not allowed to discuss with me, and she wanted too, that would be a big problem. Also, if she thought someone else was attractive and not allowed to express that, that would be a big problem. I speak from a point of view of having a non-traditional marriage, but that marriage has been the strongest relationship in my life by orders of magnitude for over six years now. We have problems sometimes, but not either of the big two listed above, and it has been a very successful and nurturing way to live.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for having a care to share your response to my discussion...yeah, it's true, people should be honest and tell the truth...if only people will be true to themselves and be honest to tell the truth, then there would be no cheating...but you know, most people aren't that way, and that's really a sad truth to be accepted...it's good that you and your wife were loving and truthful to each other for over six years now...wow, i'm blessed to know that, atleast, i know there are still existing good relationships here on Earth...good for the both of you...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
Maybe because there are some characteristics in a person is lacking for what we really expect or maybe we have this high expectation on one person.. But if you finds the real contentment in life or in a realationship you will be happy in any shape or form.
2 people like this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your reply to my discussion...i got your point, but they should not cheat their loved ones...if they don't really like them anymore because there are some characteristics lacking or other stuffs, they should tell it directly to them and not cheat behind their backs...yes, you're right, i agree, if you find the real contentment in life or in a relationship you will be happy, but having GOD in the center of your life and your relationship will make your whole life better...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@vulgarlittleprincess (919)
• Canada
15 Feb 08
When I cheated on my boyfriend I didn't realize until after that it was because I was hoarding secret resentment for some of the restrictions he had put on me. I ended up doing exactly what he had told me i wasn't allowed to do. (drink and hang out with other guys). I loved him alot but when he had put those restrictions on me I was unable to deal with them.
As for other people I have no idea, I also do not know the story of your friends well enough to pass judgement.
Sometimes people do not know how to leave a realtionship. they think if they hurt their significant other then perhaps that person will leave so that they will not have to do the leaving. Relationships and people are complicated there is no way to really know how someone thinks.
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your thoughts to my discussion...i do respect your views and opinions...we cannot judge people, we're just humans here on Earth...now talking about your boyfriend, maybe he's just so in love with you that's why there are some restrictions...yeah, perhaps, relationships and people are complicated, but if there's really a true love involved in a relationship then there would be no complications...and let's put GOD in the center of our lives...thanks for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@rain1337 (8)
•
15 Feb 08
Well, in life, some are just cheaters or unfaithful.
One reason why many people do this is because they are not happy in their current existing relationship and somehow tries to fill the void with other people.
I'm glad that I'm very happy with my current relationship (and probably won't be looking for another one either for the rest of our lives)!
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your reply to my discussion...yeah, there are some cheaters or unfaithful in life, and that's a sad truth in life...and it's so unfair for those people who were so faithful and loyal to their loved ones...i am so blessed to know that you're very happy with your current relationship...thanks for sharing...keep the love that you have right now...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@vehaileairu (2286)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
i can feel that pain, i saw a lot of close people in my heart who are cheated and abused..
as i was too..
its really not fair for the one who is true, who focused so much and dedicated everything.. for a person who doesnt value that and just cheat..
when my bestfriend tried to cheat her boyfriend, who is so good, humble and sacrifices a lot for her... i scold her like hell.. i get angry and i gave her the thoughts to see whats right and see what is wrong with her.. we had a very bad conflict, i sometimes cry because i love her so much,
but i dont want the way she do it, i do dont want her to be a cheater.. most of all, as her best friend, i will not tolerate it.. and it hurts me because we havent talked for weeks..
then she came to self realization, now... she is still with her boyfriend and is trying her best to be loyal and true..
i still cant answer what makes cheaters contented..
and i cannot say why they always cheat.. this world is full of bad traits that people likes to repeat and wont ever learn..
but i am very proud, even if my partner cheats... i will never do the same.. even if it hurts me a lot.. even if i will be broken to million pieces,.. but what that person did, wont mean i will cheat as well.. no..
i can say it all comes in the person, it depends if she/he will cheat.. but sadly, almost everyone nowadays likes to hurt people than dedicate themselves for faithfulness..
take care^_^
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
15 Feb 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your story to my discussion...yeah, you're right it is not really fair for the one who is true, focused so much, and dedicated everything for a person who doesn't value that and just cheat...i feel sorry for you that you have went through that stuff also, being cheated...it's good that you've changed your bestfriend's way when she tried to cheat her boyfriend...that's really great, and thank GOD, she finally realized her mistakes...i am so blessed to know that...
I don't know why some cheaters don't have a conscience...they love to hurt people's feelings, worst of all, they love to hurt those people who truly love them...i feel really sorry for those who were cheated like some of my friends...they don't really deserve to be cheated, because they were good friends of mine and they're really faithful and loyal...yes, you're right, sadly, almost everyone nowadays likes to hurt people than dedicate themselves for faithfulness...thanks for sharing...i hope and pray GOD will provide a good guy for you, because i know you deserve it, you're a good girl...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
1 person likes this
@angeljenn (894)
• Zaragoza, Spain
4 Mar 08
hello there to U...thanks for sharing your good thoughts to my discussion...i really do appreciate it...yeah, we can find unfaithfulness in different ways, and i can hear and see a lot of people are so unfaithful to their loved ones...they shouldn't be doing that because they're hurting the feelings of those people who truly love them...just like my bestfriend who's really hurt and still can't move on...i feel so sorry and sad for her...she really don't deserve to be unhappy, she's a good person, she's my bestfriend...i hope and pray that my bestfriend will be ok now...thanks really for sharing...have a blessed day ahead of U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family always!!!
