Who Should Pay on a Date?
By Britelite
@Britelite (148)
Singapore
11 responses
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
I thought it is a Universal Rule that the man should always pay on a date... because that is the gentleman thing to do... but if it was like a friend thing... then it is okay to go dutch...
Women should never pay for a date... that is my opinion... i won't go out with a man who expects me to pay for my meal or his meal... i would rather eat at home...
@AICIRT81 (847)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I agree as well. Its kind of expected that the guy would grab the bill. As a women I would offer the chip in but hope that he would refuse. Its not that I would mind paying for me, but it says alot about his character.
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
Sometimes you won't know until you are out on your first date and it's payment time. So watch...who's going to take out their wallet...
But I totally agree that a guy should pay even if the girl initiated the date.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Whoever invites should pay, but of course that's not good enough. -_- Note this: the reactions I've seen here, in past discussions (you're not the first to bring this topic up) and all over the net, plus society, that also says something about character ("What can you do for me." Nothing like being viewed as a means and not as an end/person). I will admit plenty of dates and relationships amount to this in their own varying degrees, a bit of it can be rather sad. Oh there is true love, but even then there is still the "What can you do for me" attitude in dating and relationships, instead of "lets enjoy each other's company" or heaven forbid "what can I do for you". And what if someone really romances, tries their best and disregarded? That is also a discouraging situation.
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
4 Mar 08
I do not see that correlation, and have seen other more real indicators of "evolutionary" trends in dating. As I've described in multiple responses elsewhere. My comments still remain. I never said it was a petty issue, I said it was a means/end issue. And as expected people will take it as they want. I simply see it in the fashion I described. My final comment wasn't touched upon as well. There are men who obey the "rules" of dating, and are regarded as nothing for it. Again, everyone's got their opinion on this, plenty have experience along with this. Its all a matter of how you see it. I've also noticed there is a disregard of some things in dating and relationships and adoption/reinforcement of other things (with a net goal of maximizing what one can gain). Its actually quite human when carefully considered. A bit sad, but still human and expected.
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Actually (this is solely my personal opinion), it's not a petty issue about who pays. It's more of trying to understand the other party's intention, respect, thoughts and attitude towards his date. For instance, the guy can say the sweetest things in the whole world to the girl, like I want to take care of you for life, but he wouldn't even care to pay for her muffin. Okay, this sounds a little exaggerated, but you know what i mean, it's more like a "vehicle" to understand the real thoughts of the other person.
Perhaps I'm old-fashioned too, but i like the idea that man is the protector. Paying for the date is a modified expression parallels to the cave-man era where the man hunts and provides for the lady and the family.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
2 Mar 08
I am a bit chauvinist so if possible, the guy should pay on the first date.
Subsequently, unless the guy is very rich or just want to show off like a small school boy, going Dutch might be more manageable.
Dating is expensive. Don't date.
Marriage is expensive. Don't marry.
Kids are expensive. Don't play.
Don't mind me lol.:P
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Haha..you are a funny guy. But there are some truth in what you've just said.
@bikespot (483)
• Canada
3 Mar 08
It really depends on the situation , friends usually take turns paying and such. On a date if your the man and ask the girl you the man needs to pay for sure. You can't ask someone on a date and don't expect to pay.
I think men should pay. Thats just the mans thing to do.
@superjockh (237)
• United States
3 Mar 08
I always pay when I am on a date no matter what. I have never ever gone dutch and pay for our own anything when I am on a date with a girl. I would just feel weird letting a girl pay for me or paying on her own on a date. Sometimes, my date and I have arguments because she wants to pay for the date or at least pay for her own. I end up paying for it, even if the girl insists to because I had be very insulted if I let a girl pay while on a date or pay for her own. I would take a lot of offense to that.
-Feel Free to Disagree!
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
I totally agree with you. You are certainly the kind of guy a girl would like to go out on a date with - not so much about paying the bill, but more for that gentlemanly thought that comes with the gesture.
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
I guess it'll be fair to say if both do not have a romantic liking for each other, it is better to go dutch, for fear of "residual obligation"...
Thanks Lynn!
@jhl930 (3601)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I think that the guy should pay on the date...I mean that was always the way that I was raised that when you ask a girl out you should be willing to pay for her meal and fun too...I mean that is the whole fun in having a date..and its like payback for them agreeing to go out with you in the first place...so i think guys should
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
I agree with you totally. That's the way i'm brought up too..
You sound like a gentleman. I'm sure the girls you are dating are lucky girls. ;)
@queenofarms (1659)
• United States
28 Feb 08
On a first date I would have to pay my own way. Some guys think if they pay for your food or movie you owe them something. Then if theres a date after that I would take turns paying..
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
If those guys think that way that the girls owe them something if they pay, I think those guys are "jerks". I think it should be more like they are paying because it's a pleasure to have great company and to spend time with a beautiful lady.
But I understand your point about going dutch.
If I'm unsure of how I feel or not attracted to the guy, it is wiser to go dutch, else they may feel you owe them something.
@above31rubies (1863)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Well, I think whoever invited the other out on the date should be the one to pay. (And, since I don't really think women should be going around asking guys out then I guess I say the man should pay on the first date. lol)
After a relationship is established, then I think it can be either- maybe based on whose idea it was to go out that day or who paid last time, or who had the most recent payday...lol.
@Britelite (148)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
wow..u are the modern lady. I'm still kind of old-fashioned when it comes to this. So i'll get upset if the guy did not automatically offer to get my share..
