As A daughter....Do I deserve this?

First, I want to say that I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Second, it's apparent that your mother should have used protection if she didn't want to get pregnant and if it was at a time when protection was rare, she should have had the man pull out. She was being reckless and probably didn't care about anything but her own pleasure at the time. However, who was she to complain when she was the one that put herself in that position? I think it's terrible that a mother would do that to her kids. Someone like that is selfish and only cares about themselves. They have no love for anyone else. It's very sad... I think that's disgusting behavior from a mother and I think it would be best for you to cut ties with her altogether. I personally, would not have wanted anything to do with a mother who did that to me in the first place. I don't think that this is someone you would want your kids or future kids to be around. So, I say cut ties now while you have a chance...

No child deserves to be born into this world to just be abandoned by irresponsible and selfish parents. I could not even comprehend the thoughts that runs across the mind of a mother that would abandon her child, worse children. It is very unfair, if she had one child and realized that she wasn't ready then it was to be stopped, but there were three of you? It only meant that she did not even think about your future. The kind of life you'll be living was nowhere near her considerations when she had you. It is plain unfair. Normally I would say that no parent would be able to do such thing to their children, but I have been hearing a lot of stories as yours, and as much as I hate to accept it, the number of irresponsible people in this world is growing. The remedy would only be that you do not do the same things as she did, do not follow the kind of life that she lived, be the best person that you can be despite your life story and prove to the world, and prove to her that she made a really bad decision to leave you guys behind. Not to be vengeful but rather go on with life, with her or without her, make your story a beautiful one.

Hun you have to do whats best for you. If your life has no place for your mother in it because of the things shes done then you should allow her in your home. NO ONE deserves this kinds of treatment even from a stranger. Your mother is no different than someone stealing from strangers. If she can't keep her sticky hands away from your stuff then if it were me I would tell her not to come back. She is making your life miserable because she doesn't want to change for her kids and that is awfully wrong. I had my first when I was 20 and as soon as I found out I was pregnant my life changed. I made the changes that NEEDED to be made in order to take care of my child. I had my second baby at 24 and nothing has changed my life is about them and only them at this point. Nothing will ever come before my kids. So back to original statement, Do what is best for YOU and and your family ,if you have one. Huggers, StrawberryKisses

Your situation is very tough--and rare. At most, there are these kind of people who give very little regard to their own children. It was as if their children is not their children and they even had the drive to betray or do harm to their own kids. Probably, your mother have some kind of mental or attitude problem. It's better that you're not under her care because if you're still under her care, then, you might eventually end up being neglected. At least, you receive care and love from your Nanny. Condolence for your Nanny. It's really unfair for you to receive such treatment. God gave you this kind of challenge because He knows you could surpass it. Good luck and God bless!

I'm very sorry that you grew up feeling unwanted. But please know that what appears to be rejection may in fact be something else. It's sounds as though your mother is a very troubled lady and she may be harboring a substance addiction or a personality disorder. I am sure that your mother loves you, even if she is incapable of understanding her feelings or showing them. But you are not indebted to her, and you do not have to be around someone that hurts you. You can choose not to answer the phone and not to answer the door. Let go and love her from a distance. Remember, no one can make you and no one can break you. The power is all yours.

i am sorry you have this pain.your mother has chose to live her life the way she choooses,which is what you must do.even tho you love her,it is time for you to be happy and enjoy your life.your mother disrespects you by stealing from you.my daughter was killed in car accident .i miss her so much.sometimes peolple just take others for granted.it is your choice if you want her around.if she is not going to get counsiling and change her ways it would be best for her not to come to your home.it would be ok to have a casual relationship,as lond as you use detactment .you have to face the facts that she may never change,just write to her ,tell her you love her and you are concerned.ask her to seek help for her problems,and remember that choice is hers to make.she is the one who has the problem.take detachment classes as i have had to do and you will be so much happier.contact me if you need anything.i would love to have a daughter. susu22

hey i feel very sorry for your mom dear ...but i am sure that there should be a bright future for you and dont think on the past just look on your future dude .....

i wonder why people like them live in this world. i'm sorry she is your mother after all but i can't help to get a bad impression on her, like what you've said she doesn't deserve to be a mother. if she doesn't like you and think she's too young to have a child then why did she let herself got pregnant in the first place. and goodness she made 3 of you, so why on earth will she tell you she's too young for the responsibility. i see and hear different case of parent leaving their children and i wonder why there are these kind of people. they don't deserve to be a parent.

sorry for the tough life that you have had and no, you dont deserve it, but to add a cliche, what doesnt break you makes you stronger eh? seriously though, some people are just not meant to have kids, it seems like she is one of them. Just because she gave birth to you, it doesnt automatically make her a 'mom' (maybe her instincts just never kicked in?)

Glad to hear that it was your grandmother who raised you up, for I keep thinking if you were with your mother for all the past years, of what kind of personality will you possess,it's really hard not to be affected badly when you live with such kind of person. Anyway, you have passed over the most heartbroken period,I mean, your childhood. What you most need to do now is to be a good mother yourself, for giving love to her own kids is never more sweet. Good luck!

You don't have to kick her out of your life. Just be very cautious. Like don't let her come over to your house. If she wants to see you, meet her at a public place. And always remember to take everything she says with a grain of salt. I have a friend whose mother and sister do this to her. They have continued to do it for years. My friend doesn't ever stop talking to them even though it upsets her sometimes. She knows what they are like and she knows what they will do to her. But that doesn't stop her from putting her heart out there. I can sit here and say to cut all ties all I want, but it isn't me in that situation. You need to do what feels right to you. If you feel that you would be a better person if you didn't see her, then so be it. You have to think about number 1 sometimes. Good luck.

What a rough life you have had. I was 18 when I had my 3 month premature daughter (now 17 and beautiful) and 19 when I had my full term son. I was 19 when I got married. My husband was 20. He spent the first 3 years of our marriage on the road. So i was pretty much a single parent to 2 babies in diapers. I can tell you, it wasn't easy. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! I can understand you mom wanting to live her life... but she should have done it with her children. She was old enough to have s*x.. she was old enough to know the consequences of the outcome of unprotected s*x. To answer your question... no you don't deserve it... but YOU have to be the one to stop the way she treats you. It will be rough. But, if she wants to see you.. do it in a public place, like a park. Don't give her the opportunity or the satisfaction of hurting you. You are allowing it to ghappen. It is up to you to either cut her out of your life completely, or learn how to manage your feelings toward her and how you let her make you feel

i think there comes a point when the person you have to make happy is yourself. you didn't chose to be her daughter, that just happens. she chose to get into situations where she had children so the responsibility is all hers. if she can't own up to that responsibility, i am sure glad for you and your siblings that someone did. if she genuinely wants to be a part of your life at some point, it should be up to her to prove that to you. chin up! people care about you!

Having this kind of life is non- acceptable, but live your life to the fullest, and learn to forgive, God forgives even the one who claims his life.

No one deserves what you have had handed to you. I would say when your Mom was younger she was to immature to handle the fact that she had children. But she can not use that excuse now. And that is what it is is a excuse. It is very hard to lose someone who has taken you into her heart and home. I am sorry that you have lost your Nanny the only person that truly showed her love for you and your brothers. Your Mom should have thought about the fact that she wanted to live her life before she had kids. Once you have kids they are your life and a very special part. To me you saying that she is in prison again says a lot about who she is. She will always be your biological Mom but when a women gives birth to a child doesn't automatically make her Mom material. Stealing from anyone to me is unthinkable but to steal from your daughter is worse than horrible. I wouldn't keep accepting her into my life. She has proved that she doesn't care about you and only takes advantage of you when she gets around you. The one thing is to try to forgive her. Not for her for your self. That way you can cleanse the hurt and anger that comes through in this discussion and just try to keep your distance from her.

Thats really tragic story of you ..Just have courage now and keep fighting and you will succeed. I do not want sympathise on you but would like to encourage you .Don't look back keep moving ahead and secure your future with the hard work so that you give better like to your children..cheers

That's freaking ridiculous! What kinda so-called egg donor does that? I had my baby early too, but I had the sense to keep my legs closed or wrap it up after him. I had him at 18, and he's my own sweetness and light, the only pure source of joy I've got. I'm not letting that baby go for the world. I did it on my own for a while too, until I met my husband. All that to say, I'm terribly sorry and angry on yor behalf. I am glad your grandmother loved you enough to take you and your siblings in and love you as her kids. Just tough it out for this little while and protect yourself from your egg donor. It's a shame, but its what you need to do to ensure you have a better future than she does. Keep yourself sane and loved for your own kids' sakes, and surround yourself wih positivity. Blessed Be

Well my case would have the one of the case if I were to tell you. I am really sorry to hear that you've gone through this. It must be very hard for you understanding all the things that had happened to you back when you we're still young. A lot questions that are going through your mind that time. You're mother is so insensitive. She might be the worst mother for you. I understand the hatred and pain that you are feeling right now towards to your mother. She maybe felt less love when she was young that is why she doesn't know how to love others too even to her kids. Mother should never be like that. But as the saying goes 'Nobody's perfect' and she is one of those not perfect person. There are really people that are like that. I am so lucky that even my father is one of those unperfect ones, well mother at least belongs to the perfect ones. She is the best for me and I love her so much. She has done so much suffering and sacrifice for me and for my family. I love her so much! Well, I just wished that your mother will come to her sense soon what she has done was wrong.

I am so sorry for you. Usually every mother takes care of her kids. Maybe your mother had some bad experience when she was young. We can't blam our parents. But honestly your mother didn't take the responsibility as a mother. Maybe with aging, she will realize that and come to you. Take care of yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that.When u are a child ,mum has the duty to care u.It's her flaut.When mum is old,u has the duty to care mum.U can take care of mum instead of leaving her aside.Because u r a warm-hearted girl.