I want a divorce

To keep a marriage going is perhaps the most difficult thing to do. Men often try to rationalise their actions and justify their wrongdoings by lying or twisting things according to their convenience. I know, lo of my male friends here on myLot may not agree, but it's a fact.I know it's very, very difficult to continue. I've had my share of unbearable stuff in this marriage and am still undergoing. But,I'm doing it for my son. He loves both his parents a lot and has told me, you both can go on fighting and screaming but please don't divorce. I want to live with both of you. I feel, after a certain point, we should really push ourselves into the background as our children's future is more important than ours. Our kids have a right to not just a home, but a normal home which gives him feelings of security and warmth, something he will cherish and remember with fondness forever. Please don't think, it's easy for me to advise- I have gone through hell and sometimes do so even now. But,most of the time I choose to ignore the hurt and the lies. You too should do just that. Get involved with other activities and make friends and focus on your kid/s. It's easier said than done, and I know it better than anyone else but whoever said marriage was easy?

Hi areweine, do you ask him what make him unhappy. You have been trying to save your marriage. So find out what wrong with yourself first. After that try to make a change. If this dosn't make him happy, than he is the one who have problem or trying to create problems.

i think you should do some thing, like ignore him every where and try to talk with other males. might be he will get jealous for it. or he will ask you for divorce.

You deserve to be happy and if he isn't willing to work at the relationship then I would say that it is time to end things now. Since there is a child involved, hopefully the two of you can accept the fact that the marriage isn't working and make the transition as easy as possible on the child. However, you need to just tell him that you want a divorce.

I'm not going to say that I'm in the same boat as you are in, but I understand where you are coming from. Granted I do not know all the details such as what he did to break your trust repeatedly or what you've tried to do to fix things or anything like that. My husband and I have been fight a lot lately about many things. He has lied to my face several times about things and it is very hard to trust him about certain stuff. So I do know where you are coming from right there. No, my husband didnt cheat, and I'm not saying yours did either. What he did to loose your trust is something you dont have to explain to anybody if you would not want to. How long exectly have you been married? Did he just change all of a sudden or has it been going on slowly over a length of time? If you have really tried to make things work and he doesnt seem to be putting any effort into it straight out tell him that either he changes his attitude and gets his butt in gear and tries to make it work also if thats what he wants. If not then your gone. One day see if your kids can visit a grandma or a friends house for awhile and tell him you guys need to talk. Thats when I would tell him that he needs to work on things as well. That you know you are doing nothing wrong, but he seems to act like it. If he is making you feel bad about yourself then tell him that. Tell him what HE is doing wrong and what HE needs to do to fix it. Also tell him if HE doesnt want to do it and stop being a d*** then fine there is the door and dont let it kick him on the way out. Dont take crap from anybody, not even your husband. Does he do the cooking, cleaning, or the laundry? Does he help take care of the kids or do any house work? If not remind him of all the stuff that HE doesnt do and that YOU do on top of work. Dont feel worthless because of him. I'm sure you do a heck of a lot more than he does and he still has the nerve to stay stuff to you. I wish things would work out for you for the childrens sake, but not all relationships work out no matter how long or short you've been together. People do change, even our spouse. I wish the best of luck to you. You might as well tell him there is no more debating. Its either he gets his act together and stuff or your totally done. There is no reason for him to act like that.

Are there kids involved because if there is then please try harder as its not nice for the kids not to have both parents about.... why not try a trial seperation where you can both have time away from each other and see if you miss each other/want to work at your relationship..... failing that pack your bags and leave, or pack his and tell him to get out.

From personal experience if you have tried everything and it's still not working, now would be the best time to call it quits. I grew up in a home where my parents were both unhappy. It hurt me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I would end up getting beat by my own mother because she couldn't deal with daily life skills and because she was unhappy so she had to take it out on someone. My father would just sleep, eat, and work. Wouldn't even acknowledge his own children were there and needed a father. After both my sister and I were grown, the damage was already done, they both decided to get divorced. In my own life after being grown I went and found the same kind of relationship I had witnessed my parents having. After 4 years of the mental, physical, and emotional abuse I finally told him to get out when he threatened to start abusing my children. Now having children in a home with this kind of "family" is not really a good home for them to be in. Yes you may convince yourself that you are doing what is best for the child(ren) involved, but in the end it will do more damage. Due to all the damage that was done through my childhood I have been in abusive relationships, had several one night stands with perfect strangers who ended up fathering a child they don't even know exists, and mentally abused myself for being stupid and childish, ruined perfectly good relationships with my attitude, held several different jobs, and totally screwed up my own life because of what I have witnessed in the past. I am presently going through counseling not only to better myself, but to better my children as well so they will have a parent with a head on her shoulders. All I can say and think it is I hope it's not to late to undo the damage I've already done by having my children in the environment they have been in for the last 11 years. I have been in counseling for about 8 months now, in a good relationship with a man who is very kind, and presently seeking a real job so that my children know how a real life is suppose to be. Whether you are married or not you can provide a loving home and financially support your child(ren). Good Luck in deciding your future. When you have had enough you will know it because it will just happen when you least expect it. There will be no thinking that this is better for my child, but that you will make a move for the better.

Tell him that it is over, you want a divorce. If he tells you that it's not what he wants, then tell him that you do not care what he wants, or what he thinks because you're fed up with him.