i am never going to do it again!
By aretha
@aretha (2538)
United States
March 17, 2008 7:49am CST
i thought that this year i would have easter dinner for my husbands side of the family. i don't care to go to my in-laws and i hate making the kids go out on a holiday. my two sister in laws have kids with other guys so they only have them part of the day. i was trying to work easter around them so that everyone could be here for dinner. my one sister in law said she had her kids till 2 then they would come up(it would take them an hour to get here) so i figured i would have a late dinner and eat at 3 and my other sis in law said her boyfriends sister is having diner at one. so i figured 3 would be good so everyone could be here. well last night one of my sis in laws called and she has her kids till 4 so having dinner at 5 would be to late for us so earlier would be ok but they would have to leave by 3 to have her kids an hour away by 4 but if i have it earlier my other sis in law won't be here. my father in law said not to worry about it just set a time that is good for us and then if they show up and are there then good but not to go crazy trying to work it for everyone. i made sure i told everyone about it over a month ago and now a week before its all going haywire. so i am not sure how i am going to work it but pretty sure not everyone will be here and i don't want one getting upset cuz they think i plained dinner around the other but wouldn't for them. 
how do you guys all do it? is all your family normally there?
how do you guys all do it? is all your family normally there?1 person likes this
15 responses
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Well all of my fmaily live in another state so i dont have to worry about that. its just me and my daughter and my mother here in nc, im not married so i have no inlaws.so its pretty easy for me...
I am sorry to hear all your plans are going haywire. I hope that everyone fins a way to be there for your dinner:).
Take a deap breath and just go with the flow....
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
18 Mar 08
follow your father in laws advise it is not you that is inconveniencing them they are inconveniencing you, set a time and if they can't make it they can't make it, you can't please everyone,
we have dinner set for a certain time, everyone know, they make and we all eat together,
if some come late after the dinner is done, they get a plate of warmed up food, have good conversation and go home.
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Alot of the time my whole family isn't there on holiday dinners, it's generally just my parents and my brother and I. Other than that no one else comes on over and we don't go anywhere.
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Don't make yourself crazy... holidays are about getting together not just about eating and food.
Enjoy the company. Have snacks or reheatable foods for the people who are early or late.
Just sit back and let them deal with it. You did your best.
I figure the more people you deal with the more scheduling problems that you will have and you can't please everyone so just please yourself.
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
17 Mar 08
These times of trying to set up something that pleases everyone is very stressful. My mom sets a time up and if you can be there, then fine. If not, come when you can, there's always plenty of food and enjoy each others company.
1 person likes this
@Chey1970 (1186)
• United States
17 Mar 08
It's hard to make plans such as the ones you did, and be able to please everyone. Sounds like you are stuck in a tough spot, but I think I would have to agree with your father-in-law. Set a time where it's good for you and the majority of people you invited and if the others show, then they can eat what is left (if any). you tried your best, and that is all that really matters here. All were aware as you said of these plans a month ago. Good luck with it all.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
17 Mar 08
I wouldn't worry about scheduling. I would have the dinner when you want to have it because there is always going to be a problem. If people really want to be at your dinner, they will make it to your house.
1 person likes this
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
Well sometimes people get caught up on things at the time you least expect it. If ever do as your father in law said. Set a time for the dinner and have them know what time it will start. Tell the others that they are welcome to join at a later time if they can. Set the time where even just one of the sisters can join you. They would understand it don't worry.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
If we decide to eat together for some sort of special occasions, we see to it that we can follow the time sched. If not then those who can will attend and eat together.
Few are the times that we are complete, since we all have different lives now.
But during Christmas and New Year we all make way... since we know that the day is for the family. We find ways to be available on that very day.
1 person likes this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
17 Mar 08
if it was me i would have diner for just my husband,kids and i but he has to have his family too. i hate going out on holidays and going to my in laws is a pain so i figured it would be good to have it here. i am just gona have to say to bad if it makes you mad then so be it. they'll get over it.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
17 Mar 08
It very rarely works out that you please everyone. I have evey holiday at my house because my house is the biggest and I have a table where everyone can fit around it.
This year we are down to 19 for Easter. What I have started doing is setting the time I want to eat and inviting everyone at that time. I tell them if they can't make it maybe they can come for games or dessert. (we always play games before dessert).
If they don't like it, they can always invite me to their house. Funny, that never happens:)
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
17 Mar 08
This is why we stopped doing family get togethers! The amount of times I arranged to have everyone over and cooked all day, only to have everyone turn up hours late with their poor excuses, I used to get so upset. But the one thing you could do is just do a cold buffet, I dont know if you were planning on doing a proper cooked meal but if you were just do a buffet instead with meats and things. I have my mum and dad coming over on easter sunday and I normally would do a cooked dinner, but they are useless at being on time so I am just going to do a selection of finger food and some easter cakes and things. Then that way it will not matter what time everyone turns up as they can just help themselves when they do.
1 person likes this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
17 Mar 08
i love cooking so thats not a problem and i know they will all be here just not sure when.
my mom did the cold dinner one year for thanksgiving and it was a great idea. i might do that for thanksgiving no that you have said something. i wasn't going to do this again but maybe i might do the cold thing. i already have everything for easter dinner so its gonna be hot. thanks a bunch
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I have to agree with the father in law too.
If you already set the time a month ago for 3 o'clock and everyone else was notified, why do you feel you should change it because someone else's plans changed?
If a time change wouldn't affect anyone else and they were all agreeable, it would be no big deal and I'd say why not? But that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Why would it be fair to change to accommodate that person/family and possibly put someone else out?
Nope. Stick with 3 o'clock.
1 person likes this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
18 Mar 08
well we did change it to 1 o'clock because it was what we said in the begining but changed it last week to 3 o'clock so everyone could be here. one is best for us and that way at least all the kids would be here that day at some point. if we had it at 3 then we wouldn't get to see some of the nieces and nephews. what a pain! next time if there is a next time i have a dinner i figure out what time and thats that.
thanks a bunch
@queenofarms (1659)
• United States
17 Mar 08
When I plan a meal, I set a time that is good for my children still at home. I tell the other children and other family this is the time you're eating. If they show up at meal time then they eat with us. If not, then they can eat when they arrive. And if I have alright cleaned up they are responsible for the cleanup. You can't please everyone. So you're father inlaw is right. There's no need to worry and go crazy over it.
Good luck! I hope everything works out for you.
1 person likes this
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I feel for you and hope that it all works out. I have gotten to hate holidays especially the big ones. Our plans get worked out and reworked out so many times that by the time the holiday arrives I am so stressed. It is hard to work out holiday details when you have your family his family, your kids, any ex's that have visitation that day to make the planning even harder. We are finally getting some of the family to have the holiday on a different weekend or day so that we can go be with each family and still have time for our own private celebrations. But each year we have to go through a ton of rescheduling to finally reach the date and time. Best of luck to you, and every one here is right you can't please everyone all the time. Do the best you can and don't stress your self out to much it takes all the fun out of the holiday. Best of luck and happy Easter.
1 person likes this
@ArbonneLady (17)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I would say that you should do dinner at Noon or 12:30. Then they could all be there including the kids. If they have to leave early then they have to leave early but at least they would all be there for a little while. If that doesn't work out then see if they would want to do Easter dinner on Saturday instead of Sunday and you could then celebrate with your husband and kinds on Sunday.
