Woman Yelling At Your Child
By ladym33
@ladym33 (10979)
United States
March 28, 2008 4:59pm CST
The other day my kids, my mother, and I were leaving a store. There was little boy running to his mother who ended up galling forward. My 10 year old saw the whole thing and responded with a bit of a sound affect, like Ohhhhhhhhh. He wasn't laughing at the little boy, but was reacting to what he saw out loud. I told him he was quite loud and shouldn't do that when someone falls.
The mom of this little boy turns at my son and says, "That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't laugh when someone falls down and gets hurt."
I agreed with her and we continued to walk. She then continues to yell at my son telling him he doesn't have any manners and just continues on. At that point I started to get angry and said, "OK you have said enough, back off my kid now." She then starts telling me I should teach my kid some manners. At this my son said he did not even laugh at the little boy, he just reacted to what he saw, she then started yelling at both of us, telling him again to learn some manners and telling me I should teach my kid manners. At this point I yelled to her that maybe she should get herself some manners, and told her she really needed to get out of my face. At this point we walked our different ways.
I understand the mother bear in her coming out when she thought my son had laughed at her, her child, and I had already scolded my son for what he had did. I would have gladly let the original comment stand, because my son should not have done that, but she can't possibly have thought that the mother bear in me wasn't going to come out when she continued to yell at and insult my son right in front of me.
Do you think I over re-acted? Has this ever happened to you?
6 people like this
22 responses
@steffyhoney (706)
• United States
28 Mar 08
I completely understand the whole situtation. I feel if my daughter fell and I felt someone was laughing at her I might have said something also. Esp if I saw the mother telling the child that was wrong or something. However, I would have just left it at that. And that lady not leaving it at that is wrong on her. Now, if my daughter was the one laughing or whatever I would have told her not to as well. And if the woman said all that to me I would have got defensive also. This type of thing has happened to me a few times. I dont think you over reacted at all. I think she did. I cant take someone yelling at my child, or cutting her down. Its my job to tell her whats wrong and right. I hate when people try to do it for me. I know some parents would just let their child laugh and not care. But if your child wasnt out right rolling on the floor laughing I dont see where she can see even telling your child that that was rude.
1 person likes this
@steffyhoney (706)
• United States
28 Mar 08
Sorry, I meant "esp if I saw the mother telling the child that was wrong or something" AFTER I said I would have left it at that lol...I went back to add that in and added it in the wrong place.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
28 Mar 08
I actually said to in the middle of her ranting twice that he had already been scolded for reacting out loud the way he did, and she just kept yelling at him and me, although she was looking at him to do her yellowing, and never looked me in the face. I also thought that was pretty cowardly yelling at someone's mother through their 10 year old child.
@ROXYZMOMMY (245)
• United States
28 Mar 08
those kinds of mothers need to keep it indoors.
1 person likes this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
29 Mar 08
i would of been so mad! i find my self doing things like that. if i woudl of seen him fall i probly would of made a noise like that. your son did nothing wrong. if he did laugh you took care of it! but he was not and she had no right going off on him like that. maybe if she had kept her son under control none of it would of happened.
i have had people make comments to me because when we are in a crowed place i will use a harness for my 3 year old. i have had words with a lady about it because she said i was a bad mother and that i had a child not a dog. after we had a couple words someone else chimmed in with its better then losing her kid and him running all over getting in to things. she then walked away and let us be.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
29 Mar 08
I don't know why some people think it is a bad idea to have a harnass for a child. I have no problem with that at all, children can run off so quickly and if you are in a large place it could be disasterous. My other son is 4 and when ever we go to a mall or any spacious place with a lot of people I still strap him in the stroller, sure he is old enough to walk, but I would be stressed out the whole time we were any where if he wasn't strapped in. Better safe than sorry. Better a harnass than a lost child.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I think you were completely right to have reacted as you did and she was lucky that that is as far as the reaction went. With the way things have gotten in society lately, there are many mothers who would have said and probably done a lot more than you did. My own daughter would have been ready to physically fight the woman and tell her about herself. I had a similar situation many years ago that was about defending my child. I lived in a house with a front porch that I used to sit on all the time just to watch the traffic. I had a car stop out front and tell me that I should get a job. On one point I am a retired teacher, so I had a good job, which I pointed out to the man by saying that I probably had a better job than he did since he was the passenger in a car that was almost NOT running. At the same time my daughter said something to him, which I don't remember, and he said that I should teach her some manners and I told him that it was obvious that she had more than he did. He had his nerve to tell ME to teach HER manners when he was being so rude to me when he knew nothing about me.
@vera5d (4005)
• United States
31 Mar 08
yeesh, some people really don't know how to let things go, do they?
I would have done the same thing as you and probably walk away or ignore it. You can't say anything right to those kind of people. An apology should be enough in that kind of situation!
I will usually not say anything to other people's kids. I'm afraid to pick them up if i see them walking away too far from their parents or running away. I once yelled at a 7 year old boy for knocking my son over when he was 2 but then that boy started making fun of me...i got so mad we just left the playground...i knew if he was that rude his parents weren't going to be any better, lol.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
1 Apr 08
You are probably right. If a child is that blatantly rude especially to a grown up, you know they are not being brought up to respect anyone.
My son really is a very sweet kid, and he really didn't mean to make fun of the little boy, he just reacted out loud. I will put up with a lot from people, and I am a bit of push over, but when that woman was laying in to my sweet child like that with out knowing him at all I just lost it.
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Believe it or not but our children have been programed to laugh at others when they fall. Just watch and listen to the cartoons they watch on TV. They are expected to laugh right along with the canned laughter they hear while viewing the violence that is being shown in these cartoons.
We as mothers tend to act like animals (bears)when we see or hear anything we do not approve of when people assault our children, verbally or otherwise. If she had kept her child near her there wouldn't have been any need for him to be running. As for you over reacting NO, I think what you did was a normal response. I myself would have said my piece in a very low voice and then walked away and ignored any more of her ranting. She was only embarrassing herself and her child by continuing the useless yelling. BTW talking to them in a low voice will cause them to shut up a lot quicker than yelling back at them. This seems to work with everyone, even teenagers.
@hersheyskiss (761)
• United States
29 Mar 08
No i dont think you over reacted..in fact i think you handled it quite well. I know some mothers that would have handled it quite differently, and there would have been no manners involved...lol...lol
@alexigne (903)
• Philippines
29 Mar 08
At the first thing, even though how important your child to you, you should know your boundaries. You don't have to involve child misunderstanding and try to know what happen first.Kids are kids and a lot of things they didn't understand. Older people need to understand children.
What do you think your child think if they saw you, like that situation in a public place. For sure they will remember it.
Those kind of people are the one who have no manners because they act that way to a younger one. They can talk the child in a polite way but she didn't
@sskmaestro (252)
• India
29 Mar 08
you responded as a mother only a mom's heart can understand ur feeling..!
@stuffyouneed (57)
• United States
29 Mar 08
No, your reaction was what a normal parent would do....You disciplined your son for any part he played in making the boy feel bad, and that should have been that. Some people just are nuts!! They fly off the handle at just about anything, you and your son just happened to get in the way of a raving lunatic with a hair trigger....I know I was married to one. Bravo for coming out of it alive.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Absolutly NOT! I probably would have done worse. I would have just told her "first off my son didnt even laugh at your son! So back off" I get very angry when people accuse my children of something they did not do. My children react when they see things too and I as well when someone get hurt I say something like that too "ohhh" or "oh my gosh" It's human nature it happens. That lady should be glad your son didnt laugh at him. That is rude but he didnt laugh. This has never happend to my children but to me.
@happymother (1)
• China
30 Mar 08
If it were me,I should say, please spent your time on your child who need more of your concern. I will teach my child myself, ok?
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
29 Mar 08
I don't think you over reacted and you said exactly what I was thinking.. "and she was telling your son to get manners??!!" If I were her, I would have apologized as soon as your son said he didn't laugh..
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
29 Mar 08
i don't have a child yet at this moment... but i can fully understand where you are coming from... i will be mad as well if somebody keeps on scolding and insulting my child... especially if i had already done it and the person that should educate my own child is me... not a stranger... so good on you for standing up for yourself... and i don't think you are over-reacted at all...
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
29 Mar 08
You did a much better job than I would have. I would have gave my keys to my daughter and told her to get in the truck. Please don't preach manners when your standing here in the middle of where every one can see and acting like an a*s in front of your child. Then I guess, I rather that my child has no manners than being a parent that acts like an a*s in public.
You didn't over react, you handled this situation very well. Honestly I had a parent get upset when my oldest was around 3, she accidently pushed a girl off some toy in one of those play areas in the mall. I told my daughter to come to me and to tell the girl that she was sorry. Well, the mom was like that's no nice of a bigger child doing such a thing. My niece asked the mom how old her child was, the mom shut her mouth, grabed her daughter and left once she realised that my daughter was like 2 years younger than hers, lol.
I hope your son didn't take it to heart. I know with a great mom like you, he knows that there's more good apples (moms) than those rotten ones.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
29 Mar 08
I don't know why the other woman overeacted in the first place. So kids laugh, I would not have said anything to your child at all. I would be more worried about my sons safety than anyone around us. I think she overeacted by saying what she said.
@chrysz (1602)
• Philippines
29 Mar 08
You did not overreact, in fact I salute you with the way you handled the situation. You did not spank your kid or yell at him when he reacted that way. You only reprimand him for bursting loudly. A woman who don't have good manners can never recognize which is good from bad. For me, it was right reprimanding your kids for his action because if he was not able to control his action, then you cannot do anything about it even if he is your son. At least you've done your part in telling him right away that he must have kept his reaction to himself coz it might offend the little boy.
The other mom had overreacted. She should have not yelled at your child simply because you are in a public place and that isn't his child. She could have told your boy what you said and walked away. MAybe she just needed some attention and she obviously got it when you yelled at each other.
@twinrachel (215)
•
29 Mar 08
Goodness, how nasty. I would never be able to tell a mother how to bring up her own child as I know that I am not a perfect mother myself. I also know that how ever much you scold a child, they are there own person and will behave how they see fit, not always how you see fit.
I do not think that you overreacted, she obviously thought that you should have punished your son more, but I think that what you did was quite right and good for you for shouting at her!
