Three things in life that can destroy a person

Hi Ivaldean, you have a very different views about anger, pride and unforgiveness. It is good and I respect your frankness. But on the other hand, I am not totally agree with you about forgiveness and healing. When one refuse to forgive, it is because of anger. Anger and unforgiveness is the product of too much pride. So this three are actually inter-connected. When we talk about healing, if one have past hurt and never was able to talk about it or resolved it, then this person will and almost always unable to forgive. This is where inner healing is needed. The need to heal the inner hurt or past hurt is a key for us to be able to forgive.

That is not the reality of life as I know it. The reality is that I am proud of my accomplishments as a woman, as a mother, as a person of business. I have the right to be proud of these accomplishments because they are mine. No one handed them to me. There is nothing fundementally wrong with pride of accomplishment. There is something wrong if you debase your accomplishments by not taking pride in them or by handing the accomplishment to someone else. As for anger, if you spend your life angry at what the world hands you then there is a problem and I would agree with you that there is work to do to overcome the anger. This however is not an issue of forgiveness but rather one of ownership and understanding. When you understand the problem then you take the first step toward releasing it. Righteous anger is that which allows you to focus on the problem. This means that you are angry at the correct thing rather than the incorrect thing. Usually when something is wrong in life people focus on themselves first, taking in some of the blame for whatever has happened to do them harm. This is part of why it is so difficult to overcome anger. Why it is so difficult to get beyond the very harmful things that happen to some of us in life. But once we get to the point in life when we realize that we did not deserve what was done to us, we did not ask to be raped, or beaten, or abused, or harmed then we can shift that anger away from us to the person who deserves our anger the person who harmed us. That is the first step in healing. There is nothing anywhere that says that we must forgive the person that harmed us. We should forgive ourselves for taking out our anger on ourselves, that one I buy. We should forgive ourselves for doing harm to ourselves, I buy that as well. But we do not have to forgive the other person unless we choose. What we have to do is make them disappear from our heart and mind. Refuse them power. Make them a non-entity. Make them less than nothing. Wish them no harm and no good. The choice to forgive is personal. If the offender comes to you with true remorse than forgive them if you wish and it is in your heart to do so, but you are not obligated to do so. It is only psuedo religious psycho babble that demands it.

Unforgiveness can destroy a person life. The reasons are when we are hurt and unwilling to forgive that person, then come revenge or having grudges. Being revengeful can make a person do many harmful. And having grudges will make one angry and resentful. It can lead to hypertension. So, when we forgive, our mind and soul are at peace and we can go on around with people with much joy and happiness. Cheers.

yes..u are right...good day...

You certainly have a high level of patient. That is great. I think it is good for everyone to have patient. With patient, we can avoid doing things which we regret later. And for forgiving, yes it is true that we can forgive but it takes time to forget.

Oh, I am sorry if it puzzled you with all these questions. Anyway, I am happy that you responded. There must be something terrible incident that you are unable to forgive anymore. You know you can forgive a person without even telling them or be around them.

You're right. I myself have many anger outburst. I think its the pms thing. I get very irritated easily even to the smallest details. Good for you that you have managed to control your anger. Pride can be positive and negative impact on individual. Forgiving someone who have offended us greatly needs courage.

You must be a very good person. I know some people who are angry express their anger in a very gentle way and sometimes smile on their face. I have seen people like that but one thing for sure, their face shows if they are angry. Yes, too much pride is not good.