Im dealing...or not!

Awwwwww, Sweetheart... it is extremely difficult to completely let go of so many years of your happy life together... the memories... the good times as a family and indeed, the children are a reminder. But, you've gone through the worst stage... the anger... and you've made your decision. I admire you for that. Hopefully, once this allocation of belongings is sorted, you'll be able to finalise the break, and close the door on the bad times. Feelings are sometimes so difficult to let go of when thoughts remind you of how good they were, but stay strong, my dear friend, and look to the future, for you have the most precious possession in the World... your kids. They will see you through, and when something comes up which you don't feel you can share with them... I'm here for you, as I know many other of your friends are. Sending you a big ((((HUGGGGGGG)))) to help you through your current phase, and all the Blessings I can muster, that you find your way out of the darkness, to peace of mind and happiness, my dear, sweet frind. xxxxx

that would be horrible thing if you won't take him back. If you love your husband you won't allow somebody will stole it from you, like a things if it is useful you of course you will not allow that it will be stolen. if i am the wife i will do all things to take him back unless he won't return back to me so i will set him free.

I am so sorry you are going thru this. You will get thru this and you are young enough to still have a good life. Just think this is the first day of the rest of your life. Good luck hun.

I agree with you. I went through the same kind of situation when my first husband dumped me. There were alot of factors, but one of them was that he took up with a friend of mine. She can have him, and he can have her. It's been several years. I am remarried, and I still feel the same way about this situation.

...."When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him." So true, so true. It still hurts, but myself I find it gets better with every day that goes by. No more fighting, no more wondering were he is, or who he's with...let HER worry about that now. : )

I am so sorry . Well, he just wasn't the right one.Follow your bliss and if you don't look , you may find the right one. Take care.

And here's another thought: 9 out of 10 times, they cheat again. So chances are that this dummy who is with your ex, will know someday the suffering she caused because she will suffer it too!

I would guess it would not be long before she starts cheating on him. I would have fought her tooth and nail, but since she sort of won, well she has not. Was he cheating on you first and saw this woman as the first opportunity or was he lured by her seductive ways? I would never let anyone put their claws on my husband. They would not stand a chance.

that is so true for if she steals him what does she get?a cheater if he cheated on you what makes her think he wont do so to her? All she proves is she now has a low life cheater and you are free of him!

Sometimes when they get the other woman they find the grass was not greener on the other side the fence, and then they want to come home, oh they have learned their lesson, you are lucky you got rid of a piece of sh-- that will do the same to her. I know it is hard to go through the dividing of all your stuff you have acquired over time, but look at it this way, you are free to start over and and no more hassles to ruin your life. That saying is so true the best thing you can do to get back at her is to let her keep him. I took someone's hubby and it was not a marriage it was a money thing she needed someone to support her, but the fact remained he was still married to her. There has never been anything in our lives that has gone right. He said all he wanted was someone that didn't cheat on him (and she had laid with everyone of his friends) and he would be the best hubby anyone ever had, what a crook! He was abusive, drunk all the time, he worked but when off work he hung with his friends, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere had a time limit when I went to the store. And I took it as punishment for taking her husband. I got what I deserved. If it was a woman that split you up she may be smiling now but her fun has just begun, he will do the same to her as he did you, then is when you get your laughs. Be strong you are way better off with out him.

I know this must be so awful for you Mom and I am keeeping you in my thoughts and prayers! I know once this is done you will start to feel better but it is hard getting to that point! I have to agree - let them keep him , he diesn't deserve a wonderful woman like you and you deserve much more than he can ever give you! xxx

I am sorry, my friend, that you are having the troubles you're going through. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens sometimes in life, and we must remember that it in no way detracts from who we are or what we have done-or not done! I urge you to lean on friends and family for the support you will undoubtedly need. I wish you well.

Counselors are always talking about extra baggage we all carry but in your case its the about to be x that is your extra baggage. so it is kick him to the curb time and let the other woman have him. I wonder how long she will want him too. I can imagine the sorts of feelings that you must have about all this looking back at all the years you spent together. I know it would be hard. although I have not been in this situation I can sort of imagine what it would be like to be with someone that mistreated you and cheated on you. But I applaud your decision to end it and start a new life for yourself. My own parents should have divorced instead of just going on and on with the same resentments and quarrels. the idea of staying together for the sake of the kids is stupid in that the kids know darn well that things are not right.

i really never understood the concept of "man/husband woman/wife stealers" people cannot be stolen. one, they arent possessions.. they arent property. two, if they leave, they did so willingly, the "other" person didnt kidnap or hog tie them and force them into an affair or leaving. im very sorry for everything yer going through right now. its a very difficult thing to have a marriage disintigrate. one woman set precedence a few years back.. and actually sued the "other woman" for alienations of affections, and WON. http://www.nodivorces.org/alienation_affection_wife_sues_mistress and it isnt the only case, where the wife sued and won.. i found that out when i searched for the link for you while im not into vengeance.. it is a viable legal recourse you might want to incorporate into yer divorce proceedings. good luck

I totally agree with you. It takes two people to commit adultry; one to intice, and the other to go along. Someone can try all they want to intice, but if the other doesn't take the bait, no harm will have been done. If a man's not strong enough to stick with his partner, then his partner doesn't need him.

I have never heard that expression before, but I think that is one of the best sayings I have ever heard. Yes let them keep him, let them put up with his laziness, bossiness, controlling characters, burps, farts, tantrums, carelessness, immaturity, selfishness, dirty laundry, sloppiness like clothes all over the floor, what ever his faults are, they think they are getting a deal, I just say wait, the haven't seen anything yet, honey, just wait.

I lost my husband to another woman, 20 years ago, and my revenge to her was to fool around with him while they were together and make sure she knew about it. I wanted her to see and feel what it was like to have a cheating husband. They are no longer together anymore either because after me he continued to cheat on her and she finally got a brain and left him, like I did. Once a cheater, always a cheater, is what I say. She was welcome to him as far as I was concerned and I only slept with him to pay her back. I had kids with him, 2, and she didn't have any with him, so the payback wasn't quite as good as it could have been, my sleeping with him.

Be strong hon. It's difficult I know but you'll get through it and in the end it will be ok. That is a very good saying. The person that said it is very right. It took me a long time to finally leave the guy I was with. Now I'm happier than ever with my new boyfriend. It will be fine and you'll find the guy that will treat you so wonderful you won't know how to act.

Im also glad that your going to let him go instead of bringing him back and allowing him to do even more damage but im not sure why you are thinking of it as a finality, the only thing that is really ending here is his opportunity to hurt you. It not the end of anything for you but more of a beginning a fresh start and a chance for you to find something or someone that will bring happiness joy and love into your life which is something that you deserve now more then ever.

I think it's best not to think in terms of revenge. Just let it go. Having been there, I can tell you there are several phases you will go thru during the healing process. anger hatred mourning self discovery change in friends change in interests finding new comfort zones settling into a new lifestyle realisation that your ex was holding you back from reaching your potential Pity for him when you realise what a wonderful person he missed out on. And one day you will barely remember being in love with him. And even more amazing you will be able to remember the good times without any anomosity.