I'm Sorry...Really...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
April 30, 2008 8:31am CST
Have you ever known anyone that always says their sorry but they never really are? Does it get annoying?
I was always taught that if you did something wrong you were supposed to apologize and then try not to do it anymore. If you shut a door too fast and it slams you say your sorry and the next time close it slower so it doesn’t slam. If you yell at someone, you say you’re sorry and work on controlling your temper.
I’ve come across ppl that will do something like yell and scream at someone then say their sorry and five minutes later their doing it again. It makes me wonder what the point is of saying you’re sorry. I’ve seen parents tell their kids “Say your sorry” and I wonder why…the kid obviously isn’t…their sorry they got caught not that they did it. It becomes an automatic reply like saying Have a nice day.
I guess in a way it takes me back to my first marriage and my abusive ex-husband. Everytime after the abuse he’s apologize and swear it wouldn’t happen again. I learned he never meant it and to him it was just words.
If I say I’m sorry about something, I really am and I work at trying not to do it anymore. It may take me a couple times but I make the effort.
Do you apologize and do it again or try to learn from your mistakes? Do you automatically make your kids apologize? When you say it do you mean it?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
10 people like this
28 responses
@lovespecialangel (3632)
• United States
1 May 08
When I say I'm sorry, I mean it. And, yes, I am one of those parents that makes her kids say they are sorry. But I take it a little further than that. I talk to them about what they did and why it was wrong. And I let them know they shouldn't do it again. It actually works for the most part because they know why they are saying they are sorry and not just saying it. I can't stand to hear someone say it and not mean it or even know why they are saying it. I have come across my fair share of those who say "I'm sorry" and don't mean it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 May 08
If I have done something wrong I will apolgize and mean it. I do not do it again and I expect the same from a person
who apologizes to me. they must mean it. Ihave had
fair weather friends who I know do not mean one word
when they say oh I am sorry. just after saying something
that hurt myfeelings. or sorry did not know you were so thin skinned. as if it was my fault that they said something
utterly nasty and mean. I do not do back bends to try to
keep these folks friendships at all.
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Yes I have a friend that does this and I love her but gee that is annoying. Sometimes it is something that she should apologize once for and then try not to do it again. Sometimes its something that isn't really her fault anyway so I have no idea why she keeps apologizing.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I deal with this all day, every day. I run a daycare and the kids will do something and I will try to explain why it was wrong and how they hurt someones feelings or even hurt them physically. Then I ask them to say sorry. They will come out with and I'm Sorry and you can tell by the tone of their voice they could care less!
If I do something to hurt someone, I will apologize and truely mean it.
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Maybe this is bad, but if I don't think I was wrong...I don't apologize. It seems to me that if you aren't really sorry the apology is empty and meaingless anyway.
I have known a couple of people that always apologized and like you said, turned around and did the exact same things again and again. I no longer trust those people.
I don't make my kids apologize immediately. I make them sit and think about what they did, then they have to explain to me why they did it.
I think a lot of kids aren't sorry about what they did; they are sorry they are getting in trouble for it!
1 person likes this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I don't believe in making children apologize, because if they are forced it is meaningless. When I was teaching preschool, instead of telling children to say 'I'm sorry' when they did something to someone, I would talk to them about it. I would say 'You hurt her when you hit her. How does that make you feel? Is there anything you can do to make her feel better?' That would get them thinking about what they did and hopefully feeling some empathy for the other child. Then they would sometimes say 'I'm sorry' on their own. That was when I knew they meant it.
I think the best way to teach this lesson to children is to model. Let them see you making an effort to improve the behavior- in other words back up your 'I'm sorry' with actions. That will teach them more than forcing them to apologize.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
1 May 08
Thats what i have always thought as well....When you say you are sorry for something,that means you will not do it again but will be careful to correct whatever you did and stick with it...A person who says they are sorry and then turn right around and do the same thing over is really not sorry,they are either a liar or they are NOT sorry at all....
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
1 May 08
If I'm apologizing to someone then it comes from the heart. I've been trying to teach my daughter that as well. Takes a real person to admit wrong doing and to say "I'm sorry" for it.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
1 May 08
I hate it when people say they are sorry. I believe in the doctrine that when you do harm you must repair the damage three times over. That is quite different from saying sorry and then going off to do the same thing over again. Once in a while it is polite and I've said it on occasion, out of expediency, but I do not make iot a habit.
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
1 May 08
I have to agree with you, I do know people like that and it just annoys the heck out of me. If someone is going to apologize they need to at least try not to make the same offense again. But if one is going to keep apologizing and never make an effort to change that offense, it then falls upon deaf ears and I know not to trust in what they are saying for real and just saying it to be saying it.
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
20 May 08
Some people don't learn from their mistakes. They are usually highly selfish and expect to get away with practically anything they can.
Teens and children are like this too. Sadly, it is a phase they have to go through.
I agree that people should mean what they say though, and make the effort to learn from their mistakes.
@littleowl (7157)
•
2 May 08
Hi Twoey-I am forever saying sorry about the most silly little things my daughter gets really uptight with me for saying it and after saying 'sorry' to whatever it maybe I think why did I say that there wasn't anything to be sorry about-am not really sure why its such a habit but do know I definitly would like to stop saying it unless I really need to 
blessings littleowl
blessings littleowl
@vivienne720 (3)
•
1 May 08
once i hurt someone coz i didn't show my concern to her .she is my student and i apologize to her sincerly .because i am really too busy to care about her ,but she did't forgive me i feel so disappointing.should i continue to apologizing to her untild she forgive me ?
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
1 May 08
my hubby likes to say sorry... but he does the same mistake again after that... it is really annoying... i know what you mean... i, myself try my best not to repeat the same mistake again when i say i'm sorry... i mean it and it is not just coming out from my mouth like that... i don't like people who like to say sorry but without any sincerity...
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
1 May 08
yes I know many people like that, they seem to think that to say sorry is automatic forgiveness and then they have license to go do it again over and over again and get forgiven every time.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
1 May 08
I believe that when most adults say that they are sorry, they really mean it. But a lot of times they need to go to therapy and get the tools needed to stop doing what they are doing and do something different. Sometimes it takes more than just a desire to change. That is just the beginning for change.
Sometimes the person can say that they are sorry for hurting someone, because they know that they have, but they may not even fully grasp what all they did wrong. For instance, your ex-husband may have wanted to stop what he was doing, but if that is the only way that he knows to handle his anger and no one teaches him a better way, he will coninue to go back to what he knows.
The thing that I have learned about people is that we alwas want compassion and understanding from others, but we are not always will to extend it. Now I am in no way saying that what your husband did was right. Nor am I saying that there are any excuses for his behavior. All I am saying is that we can't assume when it comes to how another person honestly feels.
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
1 May 08
I think tha "sorry" is an umbrella excuse.. It is used to often and not really sincere enough.. I honestly do try and learn from my mistakes..
@qdietz (244)
• United States
1 May 08
talking about people saying sorry and not meaning it, some people just say sorry at moment were i find it usless.
its like:
me: my girlfriend broke up with me...
random guy: oh i am sorry
I don't see why someone would apologize for something he/she did not take part of! I do not see why you say sorry when you did nothing wrong (unless that random guy was cheating on me that is).
I totally know what you mean about the people saying sorry and not meaning it. You just know that some people will just feed (excuse my upcoming french) de la merde to you and really annoying. The annoying part is that to make the people stop you have to create consequences if they don't stop...
