Do we focus only on the traits that make our enemies so unlikable?

the neighbor that hurt us hasnt a good side the postman now won deliver mail to them for they let dog bite him and laughed about it

I think you're right Zel. I find myself faultfinding a lot with people that I don't like. I have learned that if I pray for these people and for my heart to change God will do wonders. If I would be faithful about doing that I think I would be much happier and more peaceful cause there is some difficult people that I just can't avoid.

I think as humans we often tend to overlook the good and focus on the bad. We have "news"... it's 99% bad news, rarely good news but we watch it. We have "friends" but how often have you heard someone ragging on their friend for something they've done to make them angry but rarely hear what a great friend they are when they're making you happy? I think most every human in the world needs to stop and look deeper. Perhaps there would be a lot less hatred in the world. Thanks for making us stop and think about it!

This is a different kinda discussion and shows how beautiful you are from within. I really appreciate Zelly. Yes, it's hard to find good traits in ppl whom we hate. but then we are even hated by someone on earth, that doesnt mean that we are not good or do not have good qualities! It's just a matter of how we perceive things. There is some colleague of mine with whom I do not go along well. I kinda hate all his mannerisms and sense of values but he is very good at his job. I do not think no one would ever match up to his level of expertise! So, we all have both the qualities as you have said but sometimes we get one eyed. Thanks.

Usually we focus on the traits that makes us dislike them because if they are important enough to have earned the title of ENEMY they have really wronged us in some significant way. This being the case they were, likely, close to us in some manner before. It can be prudent self-protection to focus on the bad lest you should forget and let yourself be hurt by them again. Of course, this is assuming that you only use the word enemy like I do. For serious transgressions. Very few strangers have or will ever earn the title of "my enemy".

I try not to. I try to know my enemy and to really get to know someone you have to be willing to see the good and the bad. I am probably not evolved enough to love my enemy but I try to get to know them. I dig when people I can't stand still make me laugh. Darn few people are all bad. Some but not many.

yeah that is true ..but i guess its our human nature to always find fault with anyone ...ignoring the good points that particular person...

Alot of the people that have hurt me over the years, did not have any good qualities about them in my book. They chose the bad side of qualities rather than the good ones. I tried to be friendly to these people but they used me and treated me bad and will not even give me the time of day anymore.

What you say is true. It is human nature to focus on the negative aspects of our enemy because the pain more than outweighs any little rationale left. We would move up to a higher level if we could sincerely pray for our "enemies". This I feel is the greatest love one can give.

Before... i do this most of the time... i only concentrate on the bad qualities of the people i don't like... without thinking that they also possess good qualities... but now that i have grown in experience... there is a change in me in which... i try not to dwell on the negatives... but also look at the positive aspects of all people i meet... even if i do not like them... this makes working or living with them bearable...

Hi Zelmarq! I know it is really hard to go beyond that negative or ugly side of your enemies. I have gone beyond that whether you may believe it or not, I have always tried to give justification or reasons to any bad behavior that was done to me by other people and always focus on just trying to understand the situation. It was instilled in my mind when I was young to hate the sin but not the sinner. But I do admit, it is really difficult to just to stay calm all the time when they do it over and over again. Just my thoughts. Take care and have a nice day!

Try loving a Pastor that ripped you off, talk about hard..Yep, the Pastor we bought our car from, we found through another that he has done this in the pass..So how do you deal with that? He is still the enemy, but an enemy who should have known better..

Some people look for faults as if they'll win a prize for being a critic. I always try to find positive things about everyone, especially the people that we're unfortunately at war with right now in the MidEast. Because if you don't look at everything, the good as well as the bad, your enemy becomes inhuman and unreal, just a black cloud that your country wants to defeat. You don't see the humanity of those you are fighting and that's one of the most horrible things about war. The way people see another people as one entity with no personality or feelings is very dangerous. I don't have any personal enemies because I look for the good in a person and try to ignore the bad. I get along with just about everyone. If you look for the bad, you'll find it. If you look for the good, the bad is diminished.

I know what you are saying, but then where is the fun in seeing their positive sides!! I dislike the people that I like for reasons and I want it to stay like that. I think there are 2 people that I dislike, one that I dislike and one that I absolutely loathe with all my being. The one that I dislike has lots of good points and so I could probably overlook what she did and forgive her, one day. The person that I loathe however, or thing as I refer to her on a polite day, has no postive attitude and no good points, you may think that this is not possible but trust me she has nothing good about her whatsoever. I would never love this enemy, no matter who wanted me too.

Interesting question. That reminds me of something a teacher once said. She said the trait that we find most annoying in other people is what makes us less than good. In some ways I have noticed that is often true.

Theres certain countries they always bad mouth on the news without never anything good to say. Surely they would have something good about them. The sad truth is though if a reporter started saying some good things about these countries they would be fired. The news channel would also lose alot of money from sponsors supporting them. The american media only wants to tell 1 side of the story on countries who have sanctions focused on making them look as bad as possible. I'm sure the others countries are the same way. Rather than try to find ways to get over their past problems by both admiting their mistakes and cooperate for a better future neither side wants to take the first step to doing that. The news media should never be 1 sided in any way. Theres always 2 sides to every story.