When parents try to force children to marry a person much older than her....

Sure society is changing and so should the parents, they cannot force their own daughter, and abusing is just too much. First of all the thought of marrying some1 you dont even know except a name and his family backgrounds scares me, and well just marrying some1 because her parents r forcing should really b hard on that poor girl.Somebody has to make them understand, its their daughters life, so they do have part in it, but she should live with it, so her chopice should be first recognised...

I think 7 years is not a very big number.If she loves him very much everything will not be the force except the parents.

It's not actually a problem of generation gap but about respecting the girl's wishes. My husband is 7 years older than me and I don't think that's old. My aunt's 11 years younger than my uncle. What I'm saying is if the girl thinks 7 years is too large a gap then it is....if not, then it's not. Once she thinks it is an issue she will have a problem as soon as she gets married and she can't get the block off her mind. My sister didn't want to marry someone who was more than 3-4 years older than she is and my parents respected that....while I had no problems and they respected that too. But personally from my experience....age is not really important. I speak to my husband as if there is no age gap at all. It depends on how each person sees it. The parents might be feeling that age is the only negative the girl is seeing while there are so many other positives in the person.

this was an issue with me and my parents and relatives before i got married with my wife. though the one they like to pair with me was not older but i dont like her at all. they are all forcing me to get wed with the girl so i can live abroad. the girl likes me and looking forward to get married with me. marriage is a big thing and i have all the right who i like to get wed with. i am the one who will live with her so i will choose who that one would be. i know up to this point they dont like who i choose but i dont care i am happy with her

This is against the law.....the Parents should not force her to according to their wishes.....Marriage is a crucial thing in which both the girl and the boy should like each other...what is hapenning in your neighbors house is completely wrong..

I think the parents should realize you cant force commitment. She needs to find someone she is compatible with, someone she would actually enjoy being with, see her life together with, not someone her parents picked for her. That is just madness. I would love to have a talk with her parents and see WHY they would even fathom doing that to their poor daughter.

Okay in the first part you said this person was 7 years older then in the second time you mention age you say 3 or 4 years older soe which is it. Either way it isn't that much oldere. I am 7 years older than my husband. Age is but a number. Can't really address the issue about her family making her marry because every country is different and have different custums

I believe that parents should not try to force their children to marry anyone. I believe that it should be the choice of the the child. What the parents think is a good match may not be the best for the child. I know that marriage is a big step not to be entered into lightly, but the child should be an adult by the time they are even thinking of getting married and should make their own decision.

of course the parents are wrong. not because the generation has changed a lot. but because, their daughter has a mind of her own. she can decide for herself. and she should marry a person that she loves and not someone for convenience. a person should be allowed to make her own decision because that makes her unique to others. she should be the one to choose her own path in life and not her parents. her parents can only guide her and help her but not dictate and force her.

I dont think the parents should force the children to get married to people of their choice. Nowadays children are matured enough to make their own decisions. But at the same time a 7 year gap is not too much. I think your friend should see this boy and then decide whether to get married to him or not. She should not say no just because he is 7 years older and not 3-4 years older.

she should not be forced into a loveless match by her parents. let her find someone she loves and who 'loves her just as much. too bad they abused her. I see the parents are old fashioned and way out of step with todays situation. let her find her own love in her own way. let her alone to pick out her own love.

Jeepers! Where does this girl live? Is it a cultural issue, this arranged marriage? The whole idea of an arranged marriage is foreign to me. The last people I'd want to pick my spouse would be my parents.

As I see the situation, the parents was after into something from the guy. Is he rich? or what is in him that they will force their daughter to marry him? there is really something that they really see from that guy. Well, this thing wouldn't work anymore in this generation. Some sons and daughters do not even informed their parents that they are getting married. We are now in the opposite world of what we had 100 years back. But there are still good parents and good children. Parents must be aware that we are now in the new and now generation. those who want to get married they can do it right away without the parents consent if they are mature enough. There are some who are younger who will falsify their personal documents just to appear legal to get married without parents' consent. That's the truth in today's generation.

I dont know if parents who are so set on their belief can change , this has been passed down through the years . I wish they would listen to their child and see she is not happy . I could never marry someone I didnt know or love .

Well, I can't comment on this age problem , because we all know about situation in India. You are also from kolkata, where I do also belong from. So situation is some different here and parents don't try to full fill the demand . But about abusing her is really very bad thing. I have got sadness after reading this . These types of things still happening here ...we can't think for it ... Just try to convince her parents, You can't do more ... Thanks !!!

Well, it's getting worst. Either side's approaching is bad. The parents run for a wrong schematic to convince her daughter. They force her in a brief time, but not preparing her from the scratch. Because I saw some sample of successful arranged marriage around me, just because their parents prepared well emotionally on their daughters, some since their childhoods. If she feels insecure about her parents and their treatment like that, she may choose to leave the family. An arranged marriage still left a small proportion for their daughter's opinion. She may tell her parents he is good one or not -in the introduction-, but not the chance to choose whom. In your case, her parents who were forcing and using bad languages on her, personally I myself think they had gone too far. A parents that shows her daughter of their incapability in holding the title of 'parents' itself. There's no point return in changing old generation thought, because they're imbued by their era. It takes a very powerful-influenced event that will change their perceptions, but not all.

i think the parents should back off and let her find her true love the one that she truly wants too marry and wants too pend the rest off her life with they need too let her find her soul mate and sstop buddies in and respect her as an adult and love her no matter who she choooses to marry!!!!!

Any one have no any right to force for a marrige.I think if she do not like it then her parnets do not force to this marrage. But the age is not a serious matter in the case of marrage.I think they also can live a successful life after their marrage. Thanks Subha

parents should always consider their children not just thinking of what they want and want to be.

This problem should be solved, both of them should sit and discuss about the plus and minus of their point of view.. Because the parents can able to show the example for their point of view, form the live people, even have a very good life. Your friend also should establish that his point is more valid than their parents. Also, i have seen couple of our old people those who are now in the retired people, they are married in a difference of 14 months, now, they are facing lots of problems, like, incase if any one became sick, the other one also become sick, like that they strugle like anything.. not only a single couple, but i have around 8 retired people family in my apartments, out of that 5 of them are in this cader, rest are the age difference of 8 to 10 years difference. The more age difference people are very happily living even now at their age of 80 for grandfather and 70 for the grand mother.. they use to go out to temple by walk daily evening at around 6.30 and come back around 7.45. i use to watch them when ever i use to be at home..