Diffucult situation

Being in an abusive relationship is not an easily task. But the advice I can give to you is to encourage your friends to visit a counsellor. Sometimes person love each and they do not know how to communicate. Communication is the key in an relationship so encourage them to see a counsellor before it is too late.

My sympathy to your friend but sometimes we women allow that thing called love to controll our life. I don't know if we are afraid that no one else will love us or we would just like to be with this person so much we don't mind the abuse. I wish I can help my own slef right now, but i don't know how.

Unfortunately, That is about all you can do. The ball is in her court. It's up to her. When she has decided she has had enough she will do something. Until then all you can do is be there for her. I sincerely hope there are no children in this relationship. Maybe you can help her by suggesting a group for her to start talking to. They will help her to have the courage to leave. Just hearing others that have been through what she is going through may help her.

It sounds to me you are doing the only thing you can do and that is be there for her. She is not ready to leave him. How long have they been together. I had a very good friend and she explained what happens in this kind of a relationship. She knew because she had been in one. She said her ex had her convinced that she couldn't make it on her own, that no one would hire her, that no one would want to be around her, (which she didn't have any friends or family coming around anyway because he had succeeded in isolating her) that she had no brains and on and on and on like that. The least little thing would set him off and she said he would beat the heck out of her. She said that one day he had slammed her around the kitchen once to often and when he went to work she got everything together and left. She said she had a very hard time putting her life back together again but she managed and she said that the day she left was when her life began again. He tried to force her to come back but she got the police involved and it took many months but he finally left her alone for whatever reason. My sister-in-law also had been in a abusive relationship and hearing her talk about it she said the same thing my friend said. So it is not a simple thing to leave this kind of relationship because basically the person has been brain washed for the amount of years they have been with the abuser.

Babe, you forgot to add what I told you she said last night about him liking to fight with her when she's sober because she doesn't fight back and he wins! But when she's drunk and they fight he is scared of her!

A lot depends on whether she is married to him and if she has kids, as this deepens the trap, the hold and the abuse.If they are not married with kids, she is extremely lucky and you have a great chance of helping her to get free.She still seems to be in denial or doesn't realise that there are lots of nice men out there who would respect her.She needs help to build up her self esteem. Try slipping her a couple of these books."The verbally abusive relationship"Patricia Evans and "the verbally abusive man. Can he change?" Patricia Evans. They are real eye openers.By the way, psychologists recognise that emotional abuse is more damaging than physical abuse as it is soul destroying.If she staya with him she is slowly burying herself alive.