Moving On And Saying Farewell To The Past...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
May 20, 2008 11:14am CST
Most of us have an ex or two in the closet…sometimes a whole flock of them LoL After the breakup we move on with our lives. Sometimes we never see them again and other times we run into them now and then. Inevitably sometimes they remarry. Depending on the type of breakup you went through with them you might wonder what they have they you didn’t, why it’s working for them and not when the two of you were together. You might be thinking that it’s time for the old “what goes around, comes around” scene. Depending on the breakup you’ll either be happy about the marriage or upset by it.
Shortly after my ex b/f and I split up he got married. At first I was upset, but then I started thinking about what he’d been like. I knew he’d cheat on her (he did), I knew he’d leave her home the kid all the time while he goes to the bars (he does) and I knew she was unstable enough to just about kill him (she is). I think he got just what he deserves…an unhappy, unfaithful marriage to someone that can’t stand him and won’t divorce him b/c it would make him too happy.
If one of your ex’s decided to get married would you be happy or upset? Would you take pleasure in watching the marriage crumble or would it tick you off to see them so happy together? Could you be friends with the ex’s new spouse?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
6 people like this
36 responses
@marchgale (260)
• United States
21 May 08
Well when it's over it's over for me and I could care less what they do.Like you I knew what my ex was like,and he ended up with someone he met at a bar,boy did they have a rocky relationship.Iv'e heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, but endifference.
2 people like this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
21 May 08
I never would be friends with any of my ex's new wives since they would always know i was Number 1 wife and they were jealous of me since i gave the men kids..they didn't..but i'm glad they are with someone..since i didn't want to be and as long as we have children,grandchildren we will always be connected..not by choice but its not the babes fault i didn't want to be married anymore.
Always suppose to be a Mother, but not a wife!
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
20 May 08
To be honest, I don't even think about the past because my present life is full of so many wonderful things that I could care less whether any of my previous boyfriends get married or not. I don't even waste my time thinking about these people.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
21 May 08
I was thinking about this today! It is much better to be friends with the ex and whoever he dates or marries! To me, it is a warning sign if the guy does not have any old relationships or if hje does not get along with his mother! It is just as bad if he gets along too well with his mother!
1 person likes this
@Remembering1996 (2219)
• United States
21 May 08
My son's father and I split for he was doing all the things mentioned above and he ended up getting w/ some other girl and marrying her 7 months later after I left him. The reason why I know this is because my son told me that he was the ring boy and he was only 5 at the time and said daddy didn't want you to know. I really wasn't bothered by it I thought that this new girl would make a better person for him put up w/ his bad habits. They did ok for the first 1yr. Then she started to see what he was like and was ready to divorce him they separated for a while but still stayed married. They talked things out and are doing better now. I am glad to see that they are doing good and hope that it continues for in my opinion if they can be happier else where let them go and be happy. He has improved alot and if it ment it took her to do it then that's good she did something that I wasn't able to do for him and I won't hold that against her for that.
1 person likes this
@kassdaw (591)
• United States
20 May 08
It really does depend on the breakup. One of my ex boyfriends is now my best friend. I go to him when I have a problem and he comes over to drink with me and my husband. We really are the perfect ex's. But then there is one, the one that crushed me. He proposed, he was in the military, and we were in love. Or I was in love, he was in love with the idea of a wife. After his schooling he was stationed on the East coast and I was moving there two months after he got there. Well, he got there and found someone, and didn't tell me. We were on different sides of the country and he fell in love. They got married and I found out a week after the wedding. We were still "together" so I thought. He called daily and told me he loved me.
I was angry at the marriage and only got over it after I started dating the man that is now my husband. His wife found letters that he kept, letters I sent him when he was in boot camp. She called me drunk and yelled and told me everything was my fault. That they were in love. So no, I don't think you can be friends with your ex's spouse. Too many bad memories.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
20 May 08
I know with my ex husband I was pretty hurt because he cheated on me life me right before Christmas 4 years ago and after I divorced him because I didn't want to keep his last name anymore. I payed the whole thing for the divorce anyhow as soon as we divorced he remarried thewoman he lefr me for and cheated on me with. It hurt pretty bad but at the sametime I know we were not meant for each other and also hopefully there is someone better out there for me. If I see them around wh=ich I have like at Walmart his new wife was giving me dirty looks I just smiled at her. I am not going to let him or her bring me down they are not woth it.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
20 May 08
I have only had one "bad break up". at first i wanted to see him bured at the bottom of the sea. then I thought well being that is never going to work. so i forgive him for what he did and didn't do. i forgave myself for what i did and didn't do. then i wished him well. he moved on to another relationship and so did i. I want him to be happy. I want him to find someone who is going to love him and support him. why? because those are the same things I want for myself. and unless you give what you want, you will never get what you need.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
20 May 08
I would not care if my ex got remarried after we split up. I would sure hope it works out for them the next time. I would not want to be friends with him or the person he got married to though. I would not want any part of their life or their issues or problems. I would deal with them only for the kids sake if there were any. It may tick me off if he settled for someone not as good as me and pretended to be so happy.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
20 May 08
Well my first ex...I would love to watch him stuck in a miserable relationship. I would definitely take great pleasure in that. Part of me does wish he could reach a point where he'd realize what he could have had...not with me but with our daughter...but that would probably involve him growing up and having someone give him a second chance, which I don't think he deserves.
My ex-hubby...all I want for him is for him to be happy. If that is with his current then so be it. I don't believe they are happy and it partly hurts but I'll admit I enjoy it too. It does hurt some to think of him being happy with someone else but I also don't want him to spend the rest of his life miserable..
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
20 May 08
I have 3 exes, the first moved to another part of the state where we lived and I heard he re-married, but never saw him again. My second husband and I have a daughter together, and we were in touch, and stayed civil til she turned 18, I haven't spoke to him since then. He did remarry, shortly after I married for the 3rd time, and his wife and I were nice to each other however I wouldn't go so far as to say we were ever friends. After my 3rd divorce, I lived on my own for a year, enjoyed my time with my daughters, did a little traveling, and re-connected with myself. It's been 4 years since my last divorce, and 3 years ago I moved 1600 miles to another state. He has not re-married and still lives by himself, but if he should re-marry I would wish him the best and hope he learned from past mistakes. We can talk on the phone now as friends.
1 person likes this
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
20 May 08
I have had a couple of non-serious exes from when I was a teenager. And, one serious ex who is my ex-husband. They all married a some point. I have never felt bad about them moving on and getting married. I have said in other discussions, my ex-husband's wife and I are like best friends.
When I am in town we hang out just about every single day. She knows I don't ever want him back so she has nothing to be jealous of. Neither of us see any reason that we can't be friends. I wish they were happier actually.
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
20 May 08
it is hard to say for me as i am still married even though not very happily. i guess i would feel badly if he remarried and was really happy with his new wife. mostly because he did not make me happy and in fact made my life very difficult at times. i would hate to see someone else benefit from all my toil and strife with him. as far as ex-boyfriends go i have been in touch with a few via email and it doesn't bother me that they are happy. they weren't for me anyway so it is no big deal to me.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
20 May 08
If he was that bad I wouldn't wish him on any women at all. No woman deserves a unfaithful marriage or always being left with the kids and not really shown any respect or love at all. He may deserve to be unhappy but the other person doesn't unless they are exactly the same as him. I wouldn't care if any of my exs marry I never had a bad break up so yeah I probably could be friends with the ex's wife/hubby.
1 person likes this
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
20 May 08
Frankly I don't give a rip what that Troll does.
Either she stays single the rest of her life (most likely) or she finds someone stupid enough to hook up with her.
If she does the latter, I think she will find that there are not many who will put up with her insanity for any length of time.
As far as being friends with the new spouse.... I don't see that happening... although it would be very tempting to offer a few pointers about the stupid cow.
1 person likes this
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
20 May 08
Both my ex and my husband's ex have moved on. My husband and his ex rarely see each other but when they do, they get along better than when they were married. I actually got a compliment from her when her daughter had surgery. She wanted me to be with her daughter because she could not and she even said that I had been as much of a mother to her daughter as she had. My ex moved to another state. I laughed when you said ex in the closet. After we divorced I discovered that he was cross-dressing. The whole thought of that struck me funny. But he did eventually remarry a few years ago.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
20 May 08
I would not be around to watch a marriage crumble. If I were dissatisfied, I would be the first to cut and run. That may sound odd coming from a person who has been married 40-odd years to the same guy, but often times risk-taking is what contributed to success, and the decisions I make every day are not based on whether what I am doing is going to tick somebody else off or make me look silly, but rather on what deep in my heart I truly believe is the right thing to do. Tolerating somebody is never the right thing to do, in my view. If there is a problem, I believe in addressing it, methodically, but right away.
1 person likes this
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
20 May 08
My ex and I are still very good friends, even though he was very abusive to me. Mostly because of the kids. He brings his girlfriends over here all the time because we invite him to every party we have. He has picked some real loser girlfriends. I have to say, I feel really sorry for him. I want him to be happy, but I wouldn't feel right setting him up with any of my friends because of the abuse factor.
@mark17779 (667)
•
20 May 08
I split from my ex partner nearly 6 year's ago now and for the first 2/3 month's I really wanted to get thing's happening again, even though I had found somebody else (my current partner). At the time I was heartbroken and not thinking clearly, but now looking back im glad I didn't rekindle our relationship as ive realised that what is the point going back to an ex partner, despit the fact you may still be in love with him/her as there were clearly issue's that caused you to split and they may/would allway's be prescent, so what's going to stop you splitting again.
I will allway's move on after a split now, no matter how much I loved her as there is allway's some more loving/caring out there waiting for the chance to meet you.
1 person likes this
