Here we go
By wooitsmolly
@wooitsmolly (3613)
United States
May 24, 2008 1:29pm CST
I think we all need to take a moment to contemplate some things.
What is the difference between being rude and starting a discussion?
Seriously.
When someone states their opinion and someone else replies saying they disagree and "here's why..." they are starting a discussion, NOT being rude.
When someone states their opinion and someone else replies asking questions about it (and perhaps tries to point out what they find as flaws in the original poster's logic), they are starting a discussion, NOT being rude.
Disagreeing with an opinion is NOT being rude, it is starting a discussion.
MyLot is not a place for people to state their opinions without being asked to DISCUSS the who what when where and why about it.
Why is it that I am always seeing people implying others are rude for disagreeing with them, or trying to open their eyes to new ways of thinking. Are we that set in our ways that we can't imagine the idea of thinking outside of our comfort zone for even a moment?
By the way, it is not fair to state an opinion as if it is a fact and then tell anyone who disagrees that they are absolutely wrong. There is no logic behind this argument.
I think melons are disgusting. It's like me saying, "Melons are nasty" and having someone else reply, "I don't think they are!" and then saying, "YES THEY ARE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE. IT MUST BE RIGHT."
10 people like this
18 responses
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
24 May 08
I'm glad you started this discussion, I agree with you 100%. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that is what MyLot is about, to give your opinions to different discussions and other p eople give their opinion about your discussions. If you don't agree with me on something I have no right to say you are being rude. This is America!! Take care!!
2 people like this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
25 May 08
Well, not everyone here is from America....lol
1 person likes this
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
24 May 08
To be honest, I love controversy. I love it when people get into arguments here. And maybe that's the result of my history teacher, whom I mentioned before, who used to give us things to talk about and then we were able to debate our little hearts out. To have a nice, pleasant non-threatening discussion can be pretty darn boring, and people stop checking back to see what's been written. On a topic such as those that I've been starting and responding to the last few days, I'm obsessively checking back to see if anyone's replied or written something new. Those are excellent discussions because everyone is trying to present their case, everyone's researching to back up their arguments, and at the end of it, perhaps someone's learned something new or at least had to pause and re-examine their belief system. I think that's incredibly healthy. Those who refuse to ask why or consider their beliefs are sheep, in my opinion. To blindly go through life in willful ignorance is sinful, again in my opinion. To challenge each other is fun, not rude. Name-calling and abusive remarks are rude; not aggressive discussion.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
24 May 08
EXACTLY what I'm trying to say. I am sick of all this, "Interesting, Thanks for your opinion!" crap when you know the person is really thinking, "what a dipsh!t!" I am not one to turn down an opportunity to get my opinion out there, so maybe I just don't "get" this way of going through life...
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
24 May 08
You know what they say about opinions being like @ssholes. Everyone's got one and they're usually full of sh!t.
Having an opinion is great. Free speech is great. But free speech usually means that someone's going to say something that another person feels is wrong. And they'll use their free speech to tell that person what a tool they're being. "Thank you for your opinion" is a discussion ender, as far as I'm concerned. How about "I agree" or "I disagree and this is why". Elaborate, people! Get passionate about what you're talking about.
Another thing that bugs me (getting a teensy bit OT here) is the inane discussions that get a bazillion responses. Like "do you change your underwear every day?" gets a huge number of people responding. Whereas other more complex discussions that aren't necessarily hot-button issues but still important get one remark. Do people just not want to think? Argh.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
24 May 08
Some people avoid any controversial topics like the plague for fear of getting chastised for their opinions. If that's how they want to be, that's cool with me, but I just think they should grow a pair and see how fun it can be to rattle a few cages.
As for the meaningless, boring discussions that nobody cares about, yet everyone answers.... I just don't know.
1 person likes this
@wayz12 (2059)
• United States
24 May 08
I like reading this discussion topic. Very perceptive of you.
In a venue, where everybody has an opinion in every subject, we should be careful that we do not express our beliefs as if it is a fact. Furthermore, with the variety of our backgrounds, it is a given that there will be a difference in opinions.
I have to admit that based on my observation and experience, I feel that the mylot population is a little conservative. Most of the people comments are based on what they expect to be the right or expect answer.
However, there are a few who tries to share a less streamlined opinion, and sometimes they get attack by other mylotters. I feel that is wrong.
This is a venue to share and express what you think, and nobody here has the right to tell you that your opinion is wrong.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
24 May 08
I feel that the mylot population is a little conservative. Most of the people comments are based on what they expect to be the right or expect answer.
Yeah, I agree.
It scares me a little, honestly, how often I see people who actually don't realize that there are other opinions other than what they were taught out there. It's difficult for me to wrap my head around that.
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
27 May 08
I've been told that I am rude, confronational and abrasive. Yes, I am. But I don't agree with beating around the bush and acting all sweet with honey dripping off my lips when someone is being stupid. i don't know everything. If I reply to a subject that I know little about, I bow to those who know. If I know something, I'll fight. And if folks think I'm a biotch, that's there problem, not mine. I will be me and I will fight for what's right.
For the record, I do love melons, with salt.
1 person likes this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
27 May 08
Pepper is better ... on melons that is.
Well ok, let me re-phrase that. Where I am from we grew up putting Black Pepper on Honey Dew and Cantelope, Salt on Water Melon.
So I guess it is all a matter of taste and opinion!
How was that for diplomacy?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
25 May 08
That happens so much on here and even in the most innocent of conversations! Someone will always seem to feel the need to make the other person that doesn't aggree with them feel like an idiot. It is usually someone who is very politely stating their own thoughts. Someone disagrees and before you know it they are challenging each other's mentalities.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
25 May 08
But see, that is what I'm talking about. That is what a discussion is. Sure, I don't think people should be calling names and being rude, etc... but I think it's a good thing when someone disagrees with someone else and they argue their points.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
25 May 08
I think when someone states their opinion and another person state a different opinion, "I believe in Science" "I believe in religion not science" or questions points in the other person's opinion is part of a discussion, "I believe in religion" "How can you believe in religion when there is no solid prove?" but when someone states their opinion and someone just says "you are wrong" or "you are an idiot for believing that" with no reasoning then that is just rude.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
25 May 08
Yeah, exactly. When someone calls someone who disagrees "rude" JUST for disagreeing that is ridiculous. Of course if the person IS being rude (name calling, etc) then that is ridiculous, too. As long as everyone is being civil, I think the discussions here are great.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
25 May 08
I agree, people that think it is rude of someone to have a different opinion to them need to get their head out of their behind and look around, many of the people around them will differ in opinion unless they are a member of some over the top cult lol.
1 person likes this
@dodoguy (1292)
• Australia
27 May 08
Hi wooitsmolly,
This is genius - pure genius!
A discussion about having discussions...
Sort of like a snake eating itself - will it ever see its butt again?
Sadly, no, because the meal will never end, not even when the snake can see it's eyebrows from behind - hard to visualize, but true...
The mind boggles - how can anything so simple have such seemingly infinite ramifications (even metaphorically speaking)?
Anyway, so long as that snake is tied up trying to finish the meal, he won't be able to bother any squirrels - except maybe as a choker collar.
And the only way for the snake to avoid disappearing altogether in a final burst of mastication at the end of time is to just back out of it now. Before the point of no return - when his fangs engulf his eyeballs and he forgets there ever was a world outside of his own cake hole.
We all have opinions - and even those we don't understand or accept, or those held rigidly by incorrigible adversaries, are fuel for learning.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 May 08
Disagreeing with an opinion is NOT being rude, it is starting a discussion
I agree! unfortunately there are some members here that are just far too sensitive, anal and narrowminded to "get it" if that makes sense....
I get totally blown away at how some members can get so bent out of shape when another member disagrees with the original members opinions..what is this freakin grade school?? 
1 person likes this
@Bd200789 (2994)
• United States
25 May 08
When I start a discussion on here, I really want other peoples' opinions. I like to debate with people. I'm not being rude, I am just discussing the topic. It's just like you said. I have had people tell me I am being rude, and a lot of people tell me I am wrong, but I don't think anyone's opinion is necessarily wrong because it differs from mine. Most of the time, I can see an issue both ways. I may think one thing, but I can understand why someone else may disagree.
1 person likes this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
27 May 08
The thing I have noticed thus far on Mylot is with a few exceptions people are really uncomfortable with debate.
Strongly stated opinions often get viewed as personal attacks or "rude". Discussions don't continue to logical ends more times than not.
I would think in this format with so many people and so many opinions there would be more really "controversial" subjects. More current event subjects as well. Maybe I just haven't found these despite my searching.
From a personal perspective I don't think it is rude to have a differing opinion. Certainly it depends upon how opinions are stated and whether you are able to effectively argue them with out the discussion degenerating into name calling or personal attacks. I love a lively discussion about relevant issues of today. It is unfortunate that there doesn't seem to be many of these on Mylot.
1 person likes this
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
25 May 08
i also agree...you can give your opinion without being rude...also if you give opinion always expect someone will always disagree with you..just listen and give their opinion a little thought then ask yourself if you will change your opinion or not...it is still up to you..but atleast accept that others have a different opinion...it is rule of give respect and earn respect. for the one giving opinion...atleast give a little warning like..i am just stating my opinion here..blah blah!
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
24 May 08
I agree. I have seen these type of discussions. Also, because someone does not like your opinion they just go off on you.
That is what we are here for, is to give our individual opinions no matter what they are. Not to argue with each other.
We all have different minds with different opinions. As it should be. If we were all the same the world would be a really boring place.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2404)
• United States
24 May 08
I stuck my neck out in a political discussion where my opinion was different from everyone else's. My heart was pounding, I was so worried someone would take offense, even though I was very diplomatic.
Opinions are personal reflections. No one is right or wrong. Maybe one person will consider another person's viewpoint. That's what makes mylot so interesting.
It's a safe place to express our differing points of view and learn about each other. Or, it should be.
Thanks wooitsmolly for opening up this discussion. I hope many mylotters will stop by and leave positive comments.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 May 08
You are so right discussions are supposed to be
about our opinions and we should stress that this'
is my opinion only, and be open to new ideas and
new thoughts and maybe we may even have to alter
our own opinion.As you say an opinion is not a
fact and we should always remember that. I do
not care about people disagreeing with me, but
i do not like to be called names or flamed because
of what I have said. I try to respect everyones
opinions and only ask that they respect mine.
It is always fun to be open to new ways of thinking.
1 person likes this
@Lambchoper (538)
• United States
24 May 08
The people who get offend by a differing opinions are not all that firm in their own opinions and they feel threatened, this makes them a tad combative.
I am here to learn what others think and feel about things. I know what I think and I would be bored to tears if I shut out all that don't agree with my way of thinking.
Like you said..New ways of thinking...If you aren't open to that you are limiting yourself and you are denying yourself opportunities to learn.
By the way, you are on a roll!! Your discussions are great!!! 
1 person likes this
