Is love more important than friendship?

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India
May 25, 2008 3:52am CST
Heloo all my friends here there always have been this one questin in my mind: is love more important to you than your friends. i actually had a real life situation when i had to choose one of the two and i really got stuck as in what to do. one of my friends told me that if you dont leave that girl than i will be leaving your friendship and i was in great confusion . but then i choose to go with my love but after 2 months of break in between me and my lover i think that i was wrong. what do you all think?
2 people like this
25 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
25 May 08
I would choose my fiance over my friends but to each his own... I only choose my fiance over them as they have proven to not be welcome to my fiance. They feel he has changed me too much whereas I do not feel that I have changed at all... I know that a mirror reflects only what you want to see, and that friends reflect what is obvious, but my friends do not know as they have not been around me.
1 person likes this
• India
25 May 08
actually i think it is different in your case as the guy is your fiance and yes i believe friends do matter but fiance is an all different thing you have to live you life with him so you sometimes have to ignore your friends . thanks for your response lady.
1 person likes this
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
25 May 08
Well I think that depends on the reason why my friend want me to leave my partner. In your case I assumed that your friend has a pretty strong reason and unfortunately at that time you were not aware of that. I think generally my friend won't post such a demand on me. After all, a good friend want you to be happy, not to occupy you.
• China
31 May 08
Calm down man. I said "I assume" and I didn't get that assumption from you blog. I got it from what you said in the post.
• India
30 May 08
hey what kind of strong reason are you talking about in my case. i dont think that my partner had any strong reasons for leaving me. its you who has wrongly taken the blog. so i would request you to please go and take a look at the blog again. and then we may talk . thanks for replying.
1 person likes this
• India
31 May 08
yeah even i m sorry for that rude behavior. anyways why don't you go and read my blog their and then it would be better for you, cause then you can make correct comments and not hurt anybody feelings. whats your say on this miss...
1 person likes this
@katisaurus (1038)
• Canada
26 May 08
I'd tell my friend to stuff it, to be honest. They aren't much of a friend if they make me choose between my love and them. For someone that could potentially be that person you spend the rest of your life with, would you wanna choose your friend over that? My girlfriends tried that with me. They said they wouldn't talk to me until I agreed to stop seeing him. I told them it wasn't happening. 7 months later I'm still with that guy and they've finally accepted it. I left it up to my friends. They could bail or support me on my decision. I think unless you're absolutely sure on your love, you should pick friends over them, but if it's something you're confident on, why destroy that? you can find new friends but it can be really hard before you find someone you can really love. In your situation, it depends on how long you and your love were together before the break and if YOU feel that it was worth losing a friend over in the longrun.
• Canada
2 Jun 08
I think you made the right choice. The guy I'm dating (the one I mentioned above) and I stopped seeing eachother for a bit after about 2 months and I had already lost my friends. I don't think I made the wrong decision. I don't regret it that's for sure. If we hadn't made up and gotten back together I wouldn't be upset over losing friends. I can make new ones, it's easy. Not easy to find a soulmate.
• India
1 Jun 08
thanks for your opinion on the question and yes now i will have to say that yours is the best and the most sensitive answer to the question. i think you are really very mature. but lady there is one thing everybody replies to me but the question i have asked is what should i have done in my case. that is what i am asking and i will surely be waiting for your reply. and hope i get the best once again this time. happy mylotting and good luck.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
25 May 08
I think love is more important then friends because you only find love once,and if your friends are really your friends they will be happy for you,and still be friends with you even if you do spend more time with the one you love.
• United States
26 May 08
Yeah I am sorry about your situation and I am sorry you lost your friends and your love,and I will defitnally check out that site,and I will try to comment on it too.
• India
25 May 08
yes even i think love is more important than friends but what do you say about my situation wherein i got my love and i lost my friends but at the end i lost my love too. and yes if you would like to know the full story then please log onto: www.love-whenitbreaks.blogspot.com and yes please do comment on that site. thanks..
@mtsandeep (1586)
• India
25 May 08
In your case if you know your friend for long time and you have full faith in him. that is you know his character and all. You may be able to take suitable steps. For choosing your life partner you don't have to take the advice of your friend. Its your life and iyour friend can point out why you should leave your lover.The you mat get the idea of the situation. You may be able to avoid your lover or your friend according to their reasons they put forward .
• India
25 May 08
thanks for your reply. i have found that you are a very bif techno freak and to tell you even me is the same. but pal i have a question do you know how can i make my internet conection fast by doing some changes in the proxy server for lan. what should i type in there. and if you would like to know ore about my story then log on to: www.love-whenitbreaks.blogspot.com
@mtsandeep (1586)
• India
25 May 08
I don't know any thing about lan as i haven't used it. I know things which i am using for myself. You may start a new discussion about your problem on mylot and ask for help. This is the right place to ask GENUINE questions. You may get your answer soon . best of luck
• Mauritius
30 May 08
both love and friendship are important in life, both have thei importance in their own way. Love makes someone really feel special and friendship also has its importance but i think one should be friend with the one he loves and thus both will be with him always.
• India
1 Jun 08
yes you are absolutely correct that one should be friend with one's love, but as far as friends are concerned not all can be your love correct. so i would like to know what do you think should be according to my case , ie what should be done so that my case is solved. it is already finished but anything can happene now. i hop you are understanding what i am trying to say. and yes i am sorry for replying so late.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
26 May 08
actually what happened in your case is not at all correct it seems. but it could have happened other way round.then you have thought taht you took right decisio0n,. actually it depends oj the situation. nothing i sgreat or less.
• India
1 Jun 08
yeah you are the only one that is saying that whatever happened in my case is not at all correct. thanks for supporting me but may i please have your favor on telling on what basis are you saying this. its not being rude of me but i just wanted to know that. just out of my curiosity. actually i am unabe to understand what you actually mean by saying this. it would really be very nice of you if you explain it to me. thanks and happy mylotting.
• Portugal
26 May 08
I think that with REAL friends you should never have to choose bertween LOVE and FRIENDS. Both, love and friendship are great parts of our life. When we grow, marry and have family, we often break contacts with friends because of different reasons. But, you can meet friend after 10 or more years and you are still friends.
• India
31 May 08
yes you are true that with real friends that situation shouldn't have ever arose but god knows that happened. but do you tell me what you do when you find one of your friends in the same situation that my friend; she knows that the girl that i love is not correct for me, then what would have you done? i seriously am waiting for your reply to this question. anyways i m really sorry that i replied so late. good luck and happy mylotting.
@sanzi1201 (644)
• China
26 May 08
Oh,I'm very curious why the two of relations couldn't owe at the one time .To me,I'll persuade my friend to accept my lover.The two are very important for me.
• India
1 Jun 08
yeah you are correct that you should persuade your friend to accept your lover but in my case it was all the opposite my friend was persuading me to dump the girl cause she really believed the girl wasnt good for me but as you know love makes you blind. and yes i believe you havent gone through my blog , go through it and then i would like to have your comments there. happy mylotting and i am sorry for replying so late.
• United States
25 May 08
Love should go hand in hand with friendship. Your situation...Ultimatums don't fit in with love or friendship. You chose wisely. It just didn't work out.
• India
31 May 08
yeah you are correct love and friendship should go hand in hand but how? you are the only person that said i choose correctly but it just didnt work out. thanks for raising my mood and self belief. thanks a lot. and yes i m really sorry for not replying to you early. good luck.
• United States
26 May 08
If I had a friend demand that I dump my lover if I wanted to see them again, I'd dump them in a heartbeat. Regardless of how much someone hates a friend's SO, they're there to support the friend, not judge and structure that person's life to their preferences. I had a friend whose boyfriend I hated with the passion of a million burning suns, but I made a point to let her know that I loved her, would be there for her, even if I couldn't be in the same room as her boyfriend. I never bashed him to her, never harassed her about him, and never demanded she leave him. And, when she broke up with the pig, I was there to help her through that. And she's done the same thing for me. :) Demanding you break up with someone for their company is petty, childish, and indicative of how good a friend that person really is. JMO, acourse.
• India
1 Jun 08
thanks for your opinions on the topic and yes your answer is really great , but i m sory to say that it isnt just the best but yes really great. after going trough it seems as if you are very mature. happy mylotting and i am really sorry that i didnt reply early.
• China
26 May 08
yes,i think love is more important.When you get in love with someone,the person maybe will become the one who will live with you together in many years as far as to the end of life.The friend is also important.But if he or she is your real friend,he or she should understand you and hope you can be happy,do you think so?
• India
1 Jun 08
i agree with you but not fully, firstly what i believe is friends and love are both very important and you cant chosse either of them as the first option. secondly, as it is always said that true friends are the ones who tell you when you are wrong and do correct you. then wher is the problem if he or she tries to tell you something true rather than just hoping that everything will be correct in the coming time. i mean i dont agree with you. and yes as i was talking about my case i think in my case it woul be my friend that i should have gone with but as i was blind in love thats why i didnt think over my friends opinions about the girl. i recommend you go through my blog and only then come back here and again comment on the question.
• China
25 May 08
Both Love and friendship are important things in people'lives .they are necessary and indispensible things through all the time of one's life .but there are some conflicts and contradict between them .in the opinion of my own ,it is ideal abd good to keep a balance .you must have the the confidention in yourself ,your lover and your friends.they are able to be friends under your help .
• India
31 May 08
mr. whatever you said here always looks good only when written on papers. but in real life nothing is like that. situations make you take all the wrong decisions and then after the result comes you realize that you have made a mistake somewhere.thats all my dear. and i cant understand what you are trying to say about balancing friends and my lover. what do you mean by this. can i have it a more clear way. thats all dear. and yes i m really sorry for replying to you so late. good luck and happy mylotting.
• China
30 May 08
It is quite hard a question to answer.Different people may have different choices.But for me,I may choose my friend if only one I can choose between them.(Of course,the friend is one of my present best two friends.you know,not all the people have the rights.)But as hard as to make the choice,to tell the reason is hard for me,too.Maybe I do that without reason,my heart tell me to do so at the first time I come across this question.
• India
1 Jun 08
yes you are correct that answering to questions like this is really very difficult and yes it is only your heart that answers to such questions without any thinking. you dont have reasons to what your answer has to be and itjust comes out of you. but you know when you have to choose one out of the two in this real world you get all hit and just cant think and may take wrong decisions. i hope you understand what i am trying to say.
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
25 May 08
i think your situation is a little confusing. why will a friend tell you that. i mean your relationship with a friend is different than your relationship with your girlfriend. friends support each other they dont leave you just because they dont like the girl you love. i am really confused, i am sure you are too.
• India
25 May 08
yeah i really was confused at that situation and then i decided to go with my gf but know after breaking up with her i feel that my friends were teling me a truth. actually if you would like to know the full story you may log onto. www.love-whenitbreaks.blogspot.com and yes i would be waiting for your comments. thanks for your reply.
• Malaysia
25 May 08
Love is full of nostalgia and conflicts whereas friends give you comforts and helping hands. Therefore i chose friendship. When you love means love and friends means friends that how i differentiate these two things. I can't simply love my friends even though they are ladies as i have great respects for them.
• India
25 May 08
thats great of you man. i like your way of thinking but can ya tell me what will your answer be when one of your friend comes to you and says that you either leave the one person you love or else break your friendship with her/him. Can you answer to this?
• United States
25 May 08
There are only to reasons for a female friend to want a guy friend to break up with his girlfriend: 1. She has a crush on the guy and is jealous of the girl. 2. She can see the kind of person that the girlfriend is clearly and she doesn't like her at all and knows the guy friend could do better. Now that said, it could have been either of those with you and your chick friend. But since she wanted to end the friendship if you didn't break up with the girlfriend I would lean towards number 1 as the reason. A girl crushing on someone will do crazy things and giving an ultimatum is one of those crazy things. Have you tried to talk to your female friend since you broke up with your girlfriend? The thing of it is, that at your age, love is going to come and go. Finding love is always important. And a good friend will not dump you if you find love. For a friend to break off your ties, shows that they are not a good friend. A good friend will be there through thick and thin, good lover relationships and bad, they will be there to pick up the pieces when the love relationship ends, or will be there to celebrate it when you get married. A good friend isn't going to give you an ultimatum, unless she has a motive to do so. If it was that your female friend just didn't like the girlfriend, then she wouldn't have given you the ultimatum. My guess is that she liked you a lot, or felt she was in love with you, and couldn't bear you being with a girl that wasn't as right for you as she is. If you haven't talked to this female friend, I would suggest doing so. Call her, email her, something. Tell her that she was right (girls always like being told that) and that you should have listened to her. Ask her out for lunch or coffee or something. Talk to her. Then ask her if she has ever had feelings for you...but only do this if you think you could possibly date her. If you do not think this female friend is someone you could date in the future, or that she isn't worth the trouble, then just move on and find a new friend. Good luck.
• India
30 May 08
thanks for your advice pal. i m sure that even you might have gone through such a situation , it actually seeems like you have. so may i have the pleasure to know what all happened with you. and yes following your adbice i m surely going to go for my other friend and will do whatever you have told me to. once again thanks for our advice and yes will be waiting to know what happened with you as soon as yu get ready to tell me that. thanks once again.
• China
25 May 08
It seemed that you were an unlucky guy, you lost your lover and friendship both. why not try to rebuild the friendship if you don't not want to give it up!
• India
30 May 08
yeah you may surely write whatever you want to but yes i have lost the friendship and love both. yeah you are correct and u have been working for rebuilding my friendship and yes that has worked out. now i have my friends with me but yes i dont have the one person i love. but as one of my other friends here told me that you should be happy if she is happy and so i am trying to be happy. anywas thanks for your comments and i am really sorry for replying so late.
@jen4kids (32)
25 May 08
In high school, our saying was always "boys will come and go, but friends are forever". Thats true to some degree. Luckily, my fiancee and I have found a balance. I like most of his friends, and he likes most of mine. In the beginning of our relationship, I was very careful about balancing the two, and so was he. I think that true love means accepting one anothers positives and negatives, even if the negatives are the friends. We are currently in a situation with one of my fiancee's friends. We cannot stand his new girlfriend. But, we will never make him choose. Eventually either he will see what we see, or we will have to suck it up and allow this she-devil to be a part of our lives. Either way, he's our friend and always will be.
• India
30 May 08
yeah even you guys are doing a great thing. its better to try now when their relationship is at the intial point not when they have been very much into each other,i hope u are doing great. and yes please do think of the future things that will happen if he comes to know that you were the people that didn't liked his love. hope you be successful in your mission. and yes i m really sorry for not replying early.
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
25 May 08
I would rather say, that you should have sided the "truth"..Hereby, convincing the one at fault, would have been rather tough, but it was worth it..
• India
30 May 08
yeah even you are correct... i should hae gone up with ruth but you know what when you are in love you feel that only your lover is correct and everybody else is wrong. whatever your lover says is correct and everything else is wrong. and yes i am sorry for replying so late . hope it satisfies your explaination. and yes thanks for our reply