Are you a stay at home mom... who actually stays home?

Easy? Easy? What I do not think could possibly be easy is leaving your child or children for upwards of 8-10 hours to go work somewhere while somebody else gets to care for them and basically RAISE them in your absence. You also get to PAY this other person or facility for that delightful responsibility. While you are definitely correct in stating that a mom or other parent who works outside the home and reports to an employer AND takes care of children and home works two jobs, there are sacrifices either way. Somebody who does not work outside the home perhaps has to sacrifice financially. They cannot afford the vacation every year, the latest electronics, a new vehicle. Somebody who works though trades that time they could have had with their kids for a paycheck. It is impossible to have it all and I don't say that lightly. It is simple math in terms of time. If you are at work or traveling to and from work, you are not with your kids. I see arguments all the time about quality vs quantity. You know what? As an adult who remembers being a kid, I would prefer quantity. I don't want one hour a day to spend with my parents, even if it is the coolest hour ever. I want more time with them even if that time isn't necessarily earthshaking. My kids are about quantity. I have asked them. Sure they want that cool hour once in awhile as well, but given a choice they prefer having US to rolling in dough or having a substitute for us. I planned, hoped, dreamed about having my daughter for almost 10 years! Alas I was not lucky enough to be someone who found her other half at 18 and got pregnant immediately... I was 29 when she was born. I am not going to trade one minute of time I'm given to spend with her doing something else that isn't necessary. Time is finite, when it is gone, it is gone. If I HAD to work I would be finding something I could do without having to trade one thing for another. Yes, it is a sore subject with me too. I believe some people are cut out for juggling too much, others are not. I even know some people who are not the type who are wired to be at-home parents at all, and they do much better with a full time career as their focus and parenting as a secondary. This is just fine as long as they do not act like someone who doesn't have a career and is mostly focusing on being a parent is in any way lesser than they are.

I'm sorry, I was just reacting and responding to the little phrase near the end of your post which says 'it is easy to be a stay at home mom'. I just wanted to show how untrue that statement is when you look at it from the other end. It would be particularly nice if it were always a choice, but it isn't.

Never enough hours, are there? I am sitting here online and I should be going to bed. LOL!

Always good to take a little time for yourself! What you've put here is very typical, I think most of us do all that stuff - minus ironing. I don't iron. If I need to get the wrinkles out of something, it goes in the dryer with a damp washcloth or towel. I also don't really mow the lawn, I do get rid of weeds but it takes forever to do that because I just do a little at a time.

LOL! Yeah, today was a 'not normal' weekend day and I didn't do very much at all. Generally I have a whole list of things to do, some cleaning, laundry, errands, and I have an extra little girl now for half the week all day long.

Yesterday i sat around doing nothing, I mean i did nothing at all. I didn't even work on my site. i need a day to just be. Sunday is usually my big Sunday dinner day so i cooked, i washed i don't know how many loads of laundry. I got up at 7 am to get my hair done. got breakfast for everyone and started on my Sunday routine. Now i am working on my site and mylotting.

I actually build in time to make it to the gym daily during the week too. I invite people over or visit or meet them places as well. I have little to no trouble saying no if someone asks me to do something and I do a quick glance at my day's plans and it's smack dab in the middle of something else I have to do.

Preach, girl!!!!

Heh! MOMMY never gets a day off. MOMMY doesn't get a lunch break. What the heck is a break at all? How about a nap?? Today one of my friends made a comment about being tired because she didn't get her nap today. Nap? NAP?? Man, I wanted to slap her LOL! I don't think I have had a nap since my daughter was about 9 months old and she woke up from the nap before me and climbed over me and pitched headfirst off my bed! No more naps for me, if I decided to lay down with her, we laid on her mattress on the floor so there would be no falls! Multitasking can be a pain the butt, especially with the short attention spans and patience of toddlers and preschool age children. It's a wonder we even remember what we were doing when it gets around to getting ourselves a snack or lunch or a change of clothes because somebody spit up on us.

Isn't that the truth. Always something that has to be done! I talk to friends and others all the time who have the nerve to say they have time to be bored. I don't know what planet they live on, but on this one, I just wish for a few more than 24 hours in a day! Maybe then I'd be able to get everything done and still get enough sleep and some time to myself. As it is, if I get everything done, I don't get enough sleep, if I get enough sleep, I dn't get enough time to myself, and if I get time to myself or sleep, apparently I don't get everything done. =P Today I am pretty much taking the day off, I have dinner planned but I skipped other things, including picking up, going to gym, visiting friends, yard work, etc. I've been spending it right here with all the delightful folks on mylot and watching tv with my husband.

That's what I mean, there are so many things to do that a mom does, and most of them take place outside the home or she is running ragged IN the home accomplishing them. I can't help but think that somebody that works outside the home doesn't have time to do all this stuff besides, so some of it must fall by the wayside or they pay someone else to do it. I can say that if I'm gone and my husband is home with kids, I don't come home to a clean house and dinner cooked. LOL! Sometimes my daughter doesn't even take a shower or change out of her jammies.

Oh yes, and if you have older kids or a large family and they are not responsible for their messes, then you have THAT to deal with as well! I actually stated 'stay at home mom' because I'm not a housewife... I'm my husband's wife. =) I suppose I will now say I'm an unemployed mom because I'm not a stay at home mom either.