What would you do if your friend ask you to help her to scape from her husband?

Being from the US I couldn't imagine being married to someone I hardly know. What if that person is awful to be with? What do you do to get away from that? Is your friend being abused? I really do try to be open minded when it comes to different cultures and whatnot but it really seems strange to do this. I knew and date my husband for over a year before we got married and I find myself thinking, if I would have known that before we got married I think I would have said no I won't marry you until you quit doing this. Your friend should have to get to know her husband after marriage, you are suppose to have a good idea and then get to know them better after the wedding. That's just how I feel about this.

It's a very difficult situation you are in. While it is our culture to help our fellowmen in need, the help she is asking from you is not that easy. You have to meddle in a marital problem and both of you are in a foreign country for which you are not so familiar with the laws (i guess) on marriage. Maybe you can help her to go to the Philippine Embassy or any Philippine non-governmental organization there and discuss her problems. If I were on your shoe, I won't help her to run away because the responsibility of helping her would all be in your shoulder. You can help her by asking help from the proper authorities. It is just my opinion, and the decision is still yours. If it were all in our country, I won't hesitate to help her run away with her husband if the case is battery.

Wow, I am sorry that your friend has asked that of you. I am from the US and I'm not sure how I would adapt to being married to a man I didnt know. I "dated" my husband for 5 years before we decided to get married. Is your friend from the same culture as you and her husband? Would her leaving even be accepted? I'm sorry, I just do not really understand how your culture does things. But if I were you, I would most likely tell her no. You would have to live with knowing for the rest of your life that you helped someone that way. Would you be able to live with that?

You are definitly in a bad spot. I guess like everyone else has said you need to know if she is being abused or not? The other question you might not have thought of yet is what would your husband think or do if he found out you had helped her? Your marriage must come first!

Seems to be a hard situation. I hope by now you are already well adjusted with your life there and of course you already learn to love your husband. As to the case of your friend. You have to advise her and let her understand things. Since she's new there she might ba having a hard time to adopt the situation she's in but perhaps with your help, she could be enlightened. Running away from her husband might not be the best solution of her problem but might push her to a more complicated situation.

i guess lene she just missing back home if her husband not abusing her.but we don't know unless u know the whole story.we cannot jump out into conclusion right away so i guess better u talk her more,ask her what's going on even it's not ur business coz maybe there is a big issue why she wants to escape.

actually i really confusing to see your friend. in what reasons that she wanna escape from her husband? is it all about the matters of different cultures or there is some harsh thing that her husband did to her, i mean in physically? if you are think that she is not able to give lots of effort to learn and appreciate her husband then in my suggestion that you should leave her alone. i know its hard but she should manage this matter with her own self not by helping from others. by marrying person who lives abroad than in same country as like us, there are lots of thing that should be considered, adjustment and sacrified. she already married with korean so she should bear the consequences to follow her husband stays in korea not in her home country

I can't advise you. I married my husband because I loved him. We dated, became friends and fell in love and our love has grown. My brain screams that Yes, you should absolutely help her leave if she is not happy. My brain screams that this is a barbaric and backwoods way to make a marraige. But I cannot understand cultural norms. so I suggest you ask questions. Does he beat her? Does he control her? Is he mean to her? I don't know what to say. I'm trying to be respectful. Send her to America where she can marry am man she falls in love with and there can be a mutual respect. I just don't get the arranged marraige in the 21st century. Help me understand and perhaps I can help you more. Does this situation bother you? Would you not prefer marrying someone you love and someone you choose? Does the male spouse have a choice? Is there any equality? Help me understand. Thanks.

i can underatnd. may be she found no body to ask for help. she thinks you cam help her. in this situation i would have done what i felt coreect. try to make her i=understand taht you just do not want to get all messed up in this.

Wow!! That's a tough call! I don't think I would get involved in such a risky thing, unless her husband is abusing her, of course!

That is very sad. It's great to know that she trust you and talking about that problem is something very private and serious.I am sure she mean it and worst is if her husband hurt her, I hope not! Have you talked to her or asked her the reasons? it's still a month and maybe also they are still adjusting to each other.. I advise you to be with her and always encourage her about marriage life, one month is too early for her to judge their relationship not unless she is hurt physically. Maybe you need to advice her to talk to her husband and let them settle whatever problems they have!

This matching or buy a bride type of things are kind of scarey. If she doesn't want to anything to do with this guy, then she should get out. Maybe you should help her if she is a real good friend.

Why does she want to run away from her husband. Is it an abusive relationship. Sorry, I'm a single, independant single mother of 3. If ya want out of the relationship, get out of it. Learn and appreciate. That's a 2 way street. If he don't do the same, he ain't getting it from me. I don't honor or obey noone if I don't get it in return. Maybe I just don't understand your culture. I'd help her if I was you.

Hi can I add you as my friend? I'm also filipino, I think I heard about matching to korean guy when I was in Philippines. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano makakita ng korean hehehe, anyway, baka may depresyon yung filipina friend mo, at saka baka na culture shock sya, mahirap kasi yan lao na her husband is a total stranger to her, tapos mahirap pa magkacommunicate!!! Napakaswerte mo at ang napangasawa mo ay magkaintindihan kayo, yan ba ang baby ninyo? ang cute nya!!!

Depends on the situation.Sorry.It's so shocking for me to see such news and in fairness,your friend is just about my age.Well,I hope everything works out well for her and her husband.I think it's not yet too late to fix things.

First of all you should ask what was happen why she run away from her husband and advise her to think about the future of thier children if have and maybe can advise them to get a counseling.

i never heard about Korean matching here in the Philippines..i'm a Filipina too and i was just surprise to know that this is happening.i'm glad you had adjusted so far with the culture there..i see most Koreans are kind anyway, thats what i've know for..maybe your friend just realize that she doesn't want it really and that she misses her family home..she hasn't adopt that culture yet not unlike you and i guess you can help her by introducing her more to Korean culture..if you know the places in Korea you can maybe ask her out..and you can tell her your story how you manage to catch up with their culture maybe it'll help her..

I'm a Filipina, and I have to admit that for me it would take a lot of courage to marry someone who's a stranger to me...I commend you and your friend for having that courage...but I think the downside of it is, you have very different culture with your husband and your friend's as well, it would be very difficult to adjust...not to mention you are far away from your family and with a whole new environment...hope your friend would give it some more time for her to adjust...it's been month anyways...

i think either tell her to get counseling even if u r the one who ends up counseling them or get a divorce. escape? what is this? this is 2008! u need a civilized way of working it out, whether divorce or counseling..

I think that if she is not happy with him then she should leave him, I do not believe in marrying people that you do not want to spend the rest of your life with, therefore I am against arranged marriages and similar types of marriage. I would probably weigh out the pros and cons of helping her, eg would helping her put me in danger? Is he a dangerous man? etc.