are you unkind?

You sound like me, I have accepted those that have asked to be my friend. I do check out their profile, if we have something in common, I turn the notification on. (I have you turned on). Some folks that are just wanting to rack up a large friends list, I accept them but don't turn the notification on. I would never dream of turning someone down and then telling them why and we had nothing in common. I have only asked a few people to be friends with, most have asked me. I do ask if I run across someone who I think sounds interesting and I have something in common with. I recently sent someone a friends request, they didn't respond for 2 days. I just went and deleted my request. I have plenty of friends here, some I feel I have made a real connection wih and have become friends with. My feelings would have been hurt too, most of us are a friendly bunch, we have to stick together and not let the occasional bad apple spoil the bunch.

No, I can't be that unkind my friend. I would never even go there! I only hit deny when I get a request from somebody with zero points, or sometimes, if they have few points, I will hang on to see if they progress. If not, I will hit deny, because they're obviously not active members. I do take a quick look at profiles of those requesting, because I am interested to know who I'm talking to, but I accept most of my requests, without question, and certainly don't feel the need to hurt somebody's feelings like that person did yours. Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. x

How ca anyone criticize someone they don't know. There is such a wide range even within each interest category that it isn't possible to judge if the person is a suitable friend. I look at the profile and the questions and responses before I decide whether to accept or deny a friend request. I have only denied a few requests, mainly because they had only used 'tea or coffee' type questions. I just press deny and, as far as I'm concerned that is enough. It is surpeising how hurt you can feel when you are criticized by someone you've never met.

I've told a couple that if they used real English instead of txt spk that I'd accept them but, I denyed them because I figured if they started using real english they could ask again.

WEll honey I always try not to be unkind Tickle. I don't think I would ever have done what that person did as it is not my style - I don't try to tell my friends what to do or think, I tend to like them for who they are. Maybe this person thought it was nicer to give an explanation but it would seem like it was actually quite a harsh thing to do! You are just perfect as a friend to me you know so do not let this get to you! xxx

Personally, I don't understand why people have to be soo rude. I do check most out, but I still add them. I enjoy meeting new people. I guess if I found someone that I befriended and they were to start being rude to me, then I would find a way to block them or just ignore. But you are right! There was no since in that person being that rude! Now, me myself and I would not criticise someone just because we didn't have everything in common, Like I said I like meeting new people.

I myself think that went a little to far, because why should we be judged by our interests? I have added interests that I am not really interested in because some discussions ask if we would like to and if I think that I will be resonding to that discussion then I most times go ahead and add the interest. We shouldn't judge people that way. I add 99% and like you if I like their discussion I want to be alerted of their discussions of not I don't But even if we don't have anything in common that doesn't mean you can't learn to be friends because of your interst group..really quite silly in my opinion..

HEck no wouldnbt do that I add the ones that equest if I think we have things we can talk about down the line if I never hear from them the get deleted and I think I need to go through list and see which ones I havent heard from in a very ver long time but I dont in hopes they come back and post something lol

I would get upset if someone did that to me. I would never send someone a message as to why I didn't accept them. That was very uncalled for and very rude. I just don't understand some of the people in here some of them are very rude.

Wow, I could not imagine even doing this to someone. I'm sorry to hear that you were done this way. I have not turned anyone down that asked me to add them. Even if we don't have much or anything in common. I feel that sometime they may have something to say that I would be interested in just because we are different. Or they may need help in some way with a problem. I would hope that I would have a suggestion for them. Differences we can learn from. I'm all for learning at least one new thing everyday. I'll never be too old to learn something. So if someone wants to hang out with me that's okay by me. I turn on the request to get their started coversations to all in my list.

Hi dear really strange to hear that as she did a lot of research on u, read ur profile, check all the intrests and i am sure ur friends as well, then bother to write u that IF u delete some intrest then its OK. Wow. She had ample time and critic mind too Just for get her, i really like ur approach of doing it, well i dont deny any one i just accept whoever want to add me. keep the notify on, if i like their discussion, i respond to them, if not then just lay back and watch, and if see some one is not active since 3-4 month, then may delete that id. i sure reply back them in PM to thanks them Thats all, how can i critcize other when i myself am not perfect??? Take care and cheer up

Hi MsTickle, I don't think I have ever denied any one requesting but have deleted one person who was extremely nasty and rude to me in private messages but sweetness and light on postings, strange one that one eh! I thought to be able to send you a message you had to be friends with the person anyway so she must have accepted, sent message then deleted I would think, but I would be upset if someone sent something like this to me. Maybe she thought she was being nice in explaining the deny but she shouldn't have then gone on to critise you. Bigs huga from Ellie to cheer you up a bit. Ellie :D

My list of friends is not long as I am not hugely active. (I respond to discussions rather than post discussions. I have a tough time remembering what I thought might be a discussion as they come to mind when I am away from my computer...and I have a pitiful memory.) I am always pleasantly surprised when I do see a friends request (which I don't always notice right away as I am reading discussions that catch my interest). I go to the requester's page to see what is there and I have found only one reason to decline a friends request even though I have few interests in common. They still have discussions that will get me thinking. The one reason I found to decline a request: I declined one request only after I waited a number of days to see what he how much he was participating in myLot activities. What he seemed to be doing was building the biggest list of friends possible on myLot (he as up to 9,100+). He seemed to then use PMs to contact them. As far as I know, he has not posted anything on myLot beyond his initial 4 posts. I felt no need to explain to him why I declined him. The need some people have to "justify" their actions ... sometimes it smacks so much of arrogance, superiority, self-righteousness ... such a narrow view of the world.

Having every interest of the person you ask to be a friend shouldn't be a prerequisite! I have many friends on the internet who have different interests and we've been friends for years. A few I've met; others I have not. The person you mentioned should have just hit deny and let it go. I seldom look at another person's interests on another site. I would never tell someone they weren't good enough to be friends. That shows how immature that person really is. It is not like the two of you will ever meet in public. But, she probably did you a favor! I know people like that in real life and I had rather not even be around them.

Ms.Tickle, No. I would not do that. I have hit 'Deny' a few times myself, but I have never told someone that they can not be my friend unless they changed something about themself. Your' better off. As I have recently learned here, some people are mean just for the sake of being mean. I'm sorry that happened to you but know this, there are many, many people on this site who like you just the way you are. I'm one of them.

That sounds really rude how the person responded. I agree that the should have just hit the deny button and left it at that. It is even worse that they wanted you to change your interests just so you could be their friend. That is like someone wanting to marry someone else only if they change who they are. Wrong, wrong wrong! I acept anyone who request friendship and then wait and see how they act. If they only talk about things I am not interested I just ignore them until they post something of interest. If they just want me to sign up for something i delete them as a friend.

I requested someone recently and they sent me a message telling me why I wasn't good enough to be friends. I didn't share interests with her in a certain area. But, if I removed certain interests it might be alright LOL are you kidding me?? OmG some ppl are just so damn nasty...Well just look at it this way, hindsight being 20/20, do you really want someone like that in your friends list? People just trip me out sometimes

I do not think that I am unkind. But I have had a few people that I thought would make great friends, and they have turned me down. One woman in paticular sent me an email saying that I was a B**ch. I didn't even know her. And vicea versa. I always try to be nice to people so in turn they are nice to me. Some people you just can't help.

Hi MsTickle, I always accept those who request friendship, and see how things work out. Blessings.

I wouldn't do it like that, but I've encountered other members who have. And to me, I like the diversity in the friends list. Sure I'd like some closer peers in terms of interests and demographics, but it only goes so far. Several members really don't match according to some, but a lot's been learned and new relationships emerged. Sorry you got put through the ringer MsTickle. Its just someone being picky and rude. Here today, gone tomorrow, and you still have plenty of other people to fall back on.