Is it selfish to have only one child?

i dont think its selfish at all.. what if you couldnt handle 2 kids?? i would think it would be better to have 1 kid and be able to give him everything than to spread yourself thin just because he might get lonely later.. every one can feel alone even if they are in a family of 20!! a lot of people think im selfish for not having kids when i could not handle them health wise and chose not to.. one of their excuses is that "who will take care of you when your older?" and i think its insane to think of producing life just so i wont be alone later.. my kid could hate my guts and i wouldnt be any better off!! i think your kid will be fine with or without a sibling and dont do something because you think everyones right when it may not be right for you.. the only possible thing i could see that would be bad as far as having one child would be that they may need to learn how to share with others on various things but other than that a happy parent is better than a sibling any day

It's not being selfish, if you want one child, then it's your choice, and your choice alone. I have two only because my 2nd, was a omg, I'm pregnant, . My oldest was about to turn 5, I found out on my 24th birthday. Wasn't a gift I was expecting. I will be honestly, and frank, I saw all my plans wash away. I wanted to go back to work after not working. I was tired of being the stay at home mom. Now that my youngest is 6, and my oldest is about to turn 12 in a week. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's hard with two, I won't lie. Since the huge age gap, they fight alot. The youngest doesn't know why the oldest doesn't want to play with her. My oldest played by herself, didn't really want me to do anything with her, unless I wanted to. My youngest is always whining that nobody will play with her. With the parent thing once your to old to take care of yourself. It usually falls on one child either way, because the other siblings will not want the responsibility to do it. It normally falls on the older child, which in my case, won't be. With the added companionship, is a full of bull as well. I had 3 siblings, 2 older brothers that could care less about me, because I was a girl, and a younger sister that I honestly didn't like at that moment, because she came close to being born on my birthday. I always played by myself, I didn't care if my sister joined me or not. Now that I'm older, I love my siblings, but we aren't so close, that we talk to each other all the time. After my middle brother passed away, we became even more distant from each other.

I'm an only child, and all that stuff about "needing" siblings is bull. I was very happy to be an only child and even felt sorry for my friends who had brothers or sisters because it seemed like they were always fighting and getting each other in trouble and driving their parents mad! I didn't have to share a room, my stuff didn't get broken or lost, I didn't get blamed for things I didn't do, I wasn't always being compared to a sibling... where's the bad in all that? I would have people ask me if I wanted a brother or sister and I would always say "No way!" (and I'm not sure why they would do that, my mother would have been over 40 at that point, so it would have only made her feel bad if I had said "yes," she couldn't likely have had another child anyway). You should only have as many kids as YOU want and can support. Doesn't matter if you "could" have more children, it is if you WANT to have more. In this case, it is no one else's business and they should keep their opinions to themselves.

In different situations its different like yours if your a single parent then no its hard to have a child by yourself and give that child what he needs. I'm married and its hard having 2 kids even with the help so you do what you have to do. Now on the other hand in my brothers situations I think that they were being selfish b/c they both make good money so they can afford to have another child and they love each other and now with them being married they are in a good enough relationship to have another child but don't want to b/c the one they have is too old now which he is only 13 but still like you said something could happen to them and it would be nice to have someone else to know what he is going through at the sametime. I cried the day my brother got fixed b/c I wanted them to have another child.

I see nothing at all wrong with it. I know many who decide not to have children at all. Do as you want in life, no one has a right to tell you if it is wrong or right.

I was raised as an only child, and I'll tell you it's not selfish. Being an only child has both advantages and disadvantegs. I loved being an only child. I didn't have to share a room, my stuff stayed where I put it. I had two children. I think honnestly both of them would have been happy to have been only children. They do love each other, but I think they would have liked being an only child. What I can tell you is that having only one child makes your life less complicated, especially when they get into the upper grades in school and become involved in activities. It's hard to be in two places at once. Especially when children will have different activities. I had one child that was involved in rodeo and one involved in motorcross. As you can guess.... those don't exactly go hand in hand.

I don't think it's selfish. I think it's a parents way of adding another child to their family without really admitting they'd like another child. I also think it's annoying when they have the child when their first child is several years older than the new child and then they shove the youngest with the eldest to take care of. I think that's selfish. Only children grow up fine. Children don't need to have siblings. There is nothing anywhere supporting the fact that children need siblings to be healthy and well rounded.

no, not necessarily, but as an only child, i have to tell you it is a very lonely life. most onlies that i know hate being an only child! and also, as my parents age, i am the only one that is responsible for them!

Hello relundad, I guess everyone has the right how many kids they are going to have and they are going to handle...It's not selfish for me to have one child only..I can always invite cousins and friends so he will grow up with other kids and feel how is it to have playmate...What is selfish for me is to have a lot of child even if the couple know that they can't handle them and can't provide all their needs and wants. It's better to be wise and plan rather than witnessing our own kids suffering because we can't afford to provide them their needs!

I have a child who is just 2 and already friends and relatives have started commenting on how I should plan a second baby soon so that my daughter has a sibling to play with. All I have to say is at this point atleats let me enjoy my time with my first child, god she doesn't even go to school. I am still undecided on whether to have a second child or not, the first instinct is not to have another because its too much hard work. My husband is an only child and he has no regrets and has never felt the loss of a sibling in his life and that makes me realise that sibling or no sibling, a child can make his or her way into the world happily.

Right now, I don't have a family of my own but if ever that time comes, I would want to have 3 children. We are only siblings in our family and I think having a bigger family means it's more fun. However, I must be very financially stable for that. I don't think it's a selfishness if couples decided to just have one child. I think it's all about good family planning. If they think they can't afford yet to have another child, then so be it, it's not selfishness when you think about te sake of your children in the future.

It is absolutely Not selfish to have an only child. If you want to have one child, go ahead and don't listen to people who think you are wrong. There is nothing wrong with having one child. Lots of people are raised without siblings and grow up to be successful, well-adjusted adults. Take a look at this list of people who are only children, and some information about raising an only child. http://www.parents.com/baby/development/social/raising-only-child/?page=6

I've got one child (and are undecided about whether to have any more), and somebody that we don't know very well made a similar comment to us. He firstly asked if we were planning to have any more children, and then before we had a chance to answer he said, "because it's really cruel to just have one isn't it?" We were really shocked. Like I said we don't know eachother very well, and he has no kids himself, yet he felt like he had the right to say this to us! Well, I respect his freedom of speech of course, but it's really unfair of him (or anyone) to judge our choices as parents. Of course it's not wrong to just have one child. Lots of people grow up very happily as an only child and lots don't, just like many people with siblings grow up happily and other don't. My daughter's a very happy little girl, she loves other children, and has lots of friends, and I think that friendship bonds can be as strong as sibling bonds. Only children can still have lots of companionship while growing up. And, although it can depend on the child, it can also help them to be sociable as they don't have that ready-made friend (or enemy, lol!) at home who is automatically there without them making any effort at forming a relationship with them. I'm sure you're a great parent or you wouldn't be concerned about these suggestions. I say ignore the people who give unsolicited 'advice' on how you should raise your child. There's just too much of this around when you're a parent. Just take the advice that you think is good, and forget the rest.

It's not selfish at all, this world is so overpopulated it's selfish to have more than 2 or 3. I've known people that are only children and they're fine, normal. I can't say I ever met anyone that was traumatized from being an only child. If anything they are probably better off, they never have to share attention.

I feel that if a person can support one child properly then it is better to have one only so that he or she can give proper education and upbringing. As far as companionship is considered then schooling starts very early in life so child does gets companionship. But parent of single child has added responsibility to provide the child companionship as a friend and as a guide as well.

Well since you are single,you might have your points anyway but it might be too risky atimes,thing about this.

Hi Relundad, I saw your topic and I had to respond with my comment on a related issue. There two things which I find much more selfish than having one child. The first is having too many children, when you have no intention of looking after them. The second is having no children at all because one partner in the relationship does not want the responsibility, but would prefer to live out his life as a teenager. See ya! UMart

If one kid works for you, than that is that. End of story. You might have to be careful about spoiling the child, but if you teach him to care for others and that giving is better than receiving, than I think you'll be all right.

do what you want...

I don't think so it is selfish to have one child. I do agree that if there is more than one child, each will have companion. Why not we be good friends with our only child? When they feel they can share anything and everything with the parents or the mother, I don't think it is necessary to have another child.