Are you selfish like me or do you support your soldier?

It is very difficult when our soldiers go away. Wether it is just a normal deployment or war. I had jsut married my husband not even a year before he left for Iraq, and our son had just turned 2 months old, his father had passed away while he was on training so he didn't get his training because he had to come back for that, and I didn't know anyone barely when he left. I was only 19 and had no clue what was out in the world and had never even imagined military life. I guess it was a good thing that I don't like people to see me cry or anything like that I don't let people in much so that made me hold it all in when he was around. But what is comes down to is that you need to try and be as strong as you can for him, just let him know you are there for him and you support him and then you can worry and be scared all you want. It is very scary to go through this and not know what to expect, but it is even harder on them. We will never understand what all they go through, but dont beat yourself up too much I think it is normal to worry about ourselves, because we have to live through it its just a matter of making sure you let them know you are thinking of them too. So straight up your not bieng unsupported unless you are so worried about yourself that your not even thinking of him or being there for him and from the sounds of it you are your just a little scared and nervous and that is normal so don't stress yourself out about that you'll have enough to deal with. Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you and your family.

Hi cherylsousa, I believed that is a very normal feeling but try to overcome it and be supportive to your partner...I know it will not also be easy for him and he needs your comfort and support! I have a friend who experienced that and they were able to manage it properly by being with each other...

my husband was deployed to iraq for a year,he has been home for about a year and a half. i know just what your feeling and its hard. i had a hard time with him going i had never been with out him like that and with him going where he was going it was the worst feeling. I DID IT!! its funny what we can do when we have too. you will do just fine. i had my days where i didn't think i could do it anymore but guess what i did. we had lots of pictures of daddy around the house and talked about daddy alot. the kids loved do projects to send to daddy so we had lots of paper and glue. a really good place to get fun things for the kids to do and send is orientaltrading.com. Then we would go shopping just for daddy and get his fav snacks and drinks and we always had to get double most of it cuz the kids had to drink and eat daddys favs too. We also did alot to keep us busy,the park and in the summer we went swimming alot. My family was great to and did what they could to keep us busy. you are stronger then you think you are and you will see just how strong. you should beable to talk to your husband alot on the computer and phone,i'm not sure what his job is so i'm not sure. my husband drove truck and was on the road alot but we still got to talk on the net alot i went and got a microphone and webcam and he got a headset so he could talk to the kids and see them and once in awhile he would get a computer with a cam so we could see him. I'm not sure how old your kids are but mine where 5and 1 and it really helped them i think. i know its gonna be hard but you can do it you will see.

My husband is Air Force, and he deployed recently. In the 2-1 weeks before he deployed, I was angry at him for leaving me out here, at a base 2,000 miles from my family, all alone. And I started dumb fights over minor things, but that stopped several days before he left. The first time I dropped him off at the airport I was so upset that I was actually nauseous walking back to my car. The first two weeks are the most stressful, but after that, things settle into place, and it's not so hard any more. Just don't try to go it alone, rely on your friends and family, their support will help the most. I kind of think that the guys have an easier time adjusting. They aren't facing the uncertainty that the spouse does. They are going, with a lot of their buddies, to do the job they were trained to do. It's a hard time, but the military knows how to handle a deployment, and take care of their deployed. I think that the problems the spouse faces are greatly overlooked.

You are totally normal! This is not being selfish or unsupportive in any way. He's your husband and you are in love with him. In this situation you have to look on the positive side. He's defending your country and your freedom! He's only going away for 6 months (the army is gone for over a year and my hubby is a marine...if he goes it'll be for 8 to 10 months). Last, but certainly not least, he's coming back to you soon. You are being supportive by not wanting him to go....that's showing that you love him and want him to be with you forever.

I am sorry to hear that your husband will be going away for such a long time, but I am also thankful we have men like your husband who are willing to support and defend our country. I have friends who are in the military and thier husbands or sons have gone overseas. I know that that is their job but I also feel so bad for the wives and children left behind. I wish you all the best and hope your husband will be home safe in 6 months. We appreciate yours and his sacrifices for our country.