Does your husband/wife invole their mother in everything?

I dealt with it with a boyfriend and I don't know how you are doing it. I actually broke up with the guy becuz I couldn't imagine dealing with her...she was a 3rd wheel, literally in our relationship. Even when he was away for a while, she would swing by my house to check up on me and of course, critisize. I didn't need it. He thought I was ridiculous and I could see how he brought it on. He talked to her about everything and welcomed her into our lives. he had been thru many relationships for what I assumed was her overbearing ways. I came to realize that it was he that was the problem. He was perfectly fine with her involvement. he encouraged it. Your not alone at all. as for a solution...i don't know...i never let it get to the alter.

In response to this I must admit....I live with my daughter and son-in-law. I know when to back off and what is my business and what is NOT! We have lived together since my daughter had my granddaughter prematurely. She is now two. Actually we are very close. My daughter and I have always lived together. She is my very best friend. She is 30 now. My son-in-law calls me MOM...he is, I consider my own son. They don't involve me in everything and that is all good because I need my own time too. I can't see me in any other place in this world....this is my home and my family. What holds us together is a lot of love, understanding and listening. Respecting each others space. Talk to your husband one-on-one. Explain to him how you as his wife and partner in life makes it feel for his mother to know EVERYTHING about your business. Talk, NO screaming or attitude. I wish you the best. Janet

This is a big genuine problem in our society. In India wife has to change her home and come to her husband's house and ispite of changing herself she expects all the members of her husband's family to change. Also she tries to get involves her parents in all the cases without realizing that now she is in a new home and her parents would not be able to effects the decisions of her new home. But still she does it leads to problems on her daily. Also her parents without knowiong that their unwelcommed suggestions are actually are going to put their daughter in trouble, keeps intervening in her home. But I am foutunate, I duscussed this problem with my wife at an early stage and luckily it has not poped up till date.

My hubby used to be pretty close to his Mum, he was the youngest of three and so was her baby really. He did used to tell her things but she was not overly involved and she is never one of those interfering, overbearing mothers like I might be when my boys get girlfriends LOL. Unfortunately they had a big fall out just over a year ago and have not spoken since which is really sad. Have you tried talking to your hubby about it? If my hubby does something that annoys me, I always make a joke about it first to see how he reacts and then turn it into a serious chat!

My mother in law is deceased. But when she was a live my husband used to tell her more than I thought he should have. There were things that I think should have been kept private between the two of us and yet he would tell his mother. It usually worked out, and I could always talk to my mother in law too. It was good that we had a relationship. You need to tell your significant other that some things are just for the two of you, and need to be kept between the walls of your own home.

In some way my husband tell my mother -in law things that supposed to be ours only.It's irritating sometimes but we always talk about things .even about it that's why he tries to avoid it already.But reading about yours as if you are in a reality tv show already.I hope he would realize that there are things that husband and wife should only know about it .

My hubby's from Melbourne and me from Adelaide, and when we were living in Melbourne, he did everything for his mum, even though she put him in a boys home, and yet still had 2 other children after him, and didn't put them into homes. I found out about this and absolutely cut sick at him. LIke why are you doing all this stuff for your mum when she's done this to you. I don't appreciate what you are doing for her. I had to miss out alot while living in melbourne so he could satisy his mother, and yeah,it did irritate me and annoy me that much, that we moved to Adelaide where i'm originally from. That's the oonly way i could get some attention from my husband. when we had our daughter, i thought it would stop, but it just got worse. Maybe if you ask him to move somewhere far away from your mil, and hope you get this all sorted out soon

Wow that looks like you husband is pretty well dependent on her and maybe wants to please her mother and would not like to see her mother disappointed about your decisions in life. Oh well is he aware that you are getting irritated by his actions. If so, what is his reasons behind doing so? Well for me for as long as she would not interfere in your daily activities then its fine. he might just as well would like to let her mom know what is happening with you and your family.

My mother-n-law will stop by and sometimes it can be a little to much.I dont mnd every once in awhile but sometimes she goes up to sister-n-laws house ti help her out with her kids since she had three and then she goes and flies out to see her husband in Las Vegas Nevada.Long story.LOL.She moved back to see the grandkids and he stayed since he has a good job and she thinks he is going to move back but isnt.I couldnt live that far away from my husband but I guess thats just me.Sometimes my husband will take along his mom when I just want me ,my husabnd and kids along.And that kind of makes me mad.I dont mind sometimes but sometimes you just want some quiet time alone with your family.WHen his mom used to come along when we were walking in stores he would be up their talking to her and I felt like a tag along.And I told him as it got irritating and upsetting.SO he wuit doing that.I guess my husband doesnt tell her everything .Thank goodness as some things are better left in private or shared among the husband and wife.I feel for you as it can be upsetting and make you mad.I would talk to him alone about and tell him your feelings.I guess maybe he is just excited about the places he was looking at.But he shouldnt be telling your mother-n-law stuff though unless he goes through you and asks you first.I hope things start working out for you.

In the early day of my marriage my MIL tried to be too much in our lives and my Mother also. But we set our boundaries as we are very private people. My husband does call his Mom and we have decent relationship with her, but we are our priorities. And believe me there are many many things we would never consider telling anyone else. You may have to put your foot down and ask for some privacy.

Your husband seem to be open to his mother than even you yourselve. Remember you are one, you should consider on how to deal with your relatives equally. With me I moved away from my parends and my parends in law and in town. Our african culture many people don't believe a down life. So I moved my family from village and moved to live in town to avoid many complains. Whenever they visited us in town they don't stay long they either spend one day or two days and we see them off. Whenever my mother or mother in law visited us we tread them equally and I am the one to give any token not my wife, because I am the head of the family.

My hubby and i have lived in their house for one year now. My mother-in-law is nice and is a housewife so she does all - absolutely everything including laundry, but i bought her a washing machine for that. She lets us do whatever we want to but sometimes gets so irritating when she constantly tells to rest, stop tinkering with that computer as you are already tired from work, eat this, eat that, stop spending money so much, and stuff like that. It's irritating because I am used to being independent and my own mother would not tell me what to do, but then I do not really abhor her as all that she were admonishing were true. I do get into a habit of using my laptop even when I just arrived from work -- and I work in front of the computer for eight hours. I still wish she won't tell me to do things. And I surely wish that we have our own house already so we can have more privacy but we're still saving on that dream.

hi do you still have this issue?

Hi - do you still have this issue?? im getting married in may but my boyfriend tells his mum everything and i cant cope with it!