Dear WIFE can you QUIT your JOB for our cute little BABY!!!!
By karjyo
@karjyo (830)
India
August 12, 2008 10:17am CST
When a child is born, he needs the love and affection of his parents. Moreover he is totally dependent on the mother for feed and is a 24 hour duty of the mother. A lady generally gets 3 months maternity leave from the job. But after that what??? Your baby still needs you!!! He will need your full attention for at least 5 years. One can even keep a maid or a baby sitter but she cannot give what a mother can give to her child......Then what should a career oriented lady do? Quit or resume work? What is your opinion?
6 people like this
38 responses
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
13 Aug 08
i would love to be a stay home mother and take care of my children if my finance situation allowed it... i don't have a child yet... but when i do have one in the future (hopefully real soon), i would like to spend as much time as i can with my baby... i'm sure that i will take at least one year maternity leave or even 2 years before i go back to work again if i have to... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
13 Aug 08
You see the part that bothers me is saying it is the mothers responsiblity to be there for the baby. You know quite often the husband is a better parent. And here is another aspect. If father has to work so hard he can not spend time with the child this is NOT a good thing. Children need a male influence also. Parenting like a marriage, should be an equal partnership.
Now grant it I was home the first 2 years but after that I went to night college, my husband was quite capable of taking care of them. Later he worked the night shift and I would get them ready for school. He would get home, go the sleep and wake up when they got home and interacted with them. So we did not need outside help.
Now my husband watches my grandchildren 2 days a week and the other granparents watch them the other 3 days. I watched my grandson the first 9 months but when my husband retired , I told him it was his turn. And he is great at it.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Well it really depends on the situation you are in. Many mothers are working so to supplement the family needs, but if you think that you don't nned to work and your husband can provide for everything it is ideal for mothers to stay and be with their child. But out of economic needs i would say that it is practical to be a working mom too. I have no problem with my wife staying at home but right now economically we should both work to maintain our present lifestyle and financial needs.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
12 Aug 08
I think that it all depends on the mother really, if they are lucky like I was and can have the choice to stay at home with their babies then it is great but some do not get to have the choice.
Also I guess it depends on whether they want to give their careers up, if I had been in a proper career at the time of having my second child then I probably would not have wanted to give it up especially if I had enjoyed it.
1 person likes this
@leateagee (3667)
• China
19 Aug 08
Though I am not a mother yet, I would say i would quit my job and be a mother because I believe that my child will only be a child once. I want to enjoy that moment. That is why I want to have a child when I know that I can support myself even not being a full time worker. I may think of a job that doesn't require me to leave the house and that has a flexible time so I could work on my fire time. Money is nothing if there isn't happiness in your home because all you thought of is to work for the future. Take care =)
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Oh!! this is tough. I am a working mother and everything you said is right. The mother's responsibility is a 24 hour duty to her kid but how can she do that if she is working outside home during the day? Very tired at night and when the baby needs diaper changing or needs to be fed, a mother really need to do that. I have been through that experience. I can not afford to quit my job because my husband's salary would not be enough for our needs. With 3 children and 2 in school? it is tough when only one is earning. So, for me, I resume g=for work after my maternity leave. I have no other choice.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Aug 08
I quit my well paying job before I had my first child. I was very happy. Well, my husband could afford to support the family without my paypacket and we also felt that I needed to be with the baby full time. I started work only after my child turned 5. But with my second child, I started working again when he was 18 months old. I'm not too sure it was a good move even if he is at the same place I work at.
I feel that his routine is being disrupted and I need to be more involved with him that I am right now. Though I am physically with him, I can't take care of his needs preperly and I feel guilty. I think I might soon be quitting. BUt right now our financial position isn't the same as it was when our first child was born.
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
13 Aug 08
There is absolutely no reason a mother cannot work and have a good relationship with their child. I went back to work after being home for six weeks with my newborn. I worked a full time job but still had plenty of time to bond with my son. And I KNOW it did not affect him badly, and we have a great relationship even now that he is 27. He calls me once or twice a week and last night when he called we talked about two hours. Working and leaving your child with a sitter does NOT make anyone a bad mother.
@pradysgirl (246)
• India
14 Aug 08
As a women she is mother first and all other things come next, her priority must be the baby, nobody can give the baby the motherly love. If you can have a comfortable living without her earnings then she should completely devote her time for kids and take a break for 2 years. if this is a question of survival then I think she needs to work. I have seen my friends who are in well paying jobs taking a break for a year, extend the maternity leave to without pay. atleast have a job in hand. if the employer is kind enough. this is universal and every mother sacrifice their careers for kids, she is rest assured not alone in this.
@msedge (4011)
• United States
17 Aug 08
This is a very tough situation wherein you will chose between your child and your career.Of course my child is very important for me but i have the career for her future.I know it is really important for the mother herself to take care of her baby which what was i did but i could also understand that a mother should work for her baby specially if she has no husband or the husband's income is not enough for the family.It is necessary that if your a working mom you should also give time for your baby.Like when getting home from work even your tired, i know playing with your baby can ease your tiredness.Then set weekends for the family.
@iyah10 (4115)
• Kuwait
13 Aug 08
This is a relevant questions on what happened to my wife when she is pregnant she still pursue on doing here job because she is telling me that she would like to help the family back there and she wanted to save more in terms of money until the baby inside the womb is already in the five months and she is having a blood which is not normal and so the Doctor advice for me and my wife that if we need to save the baby my wife have to stop here work so that she could take a rest for she is having a hypertension and the baby's position is very low and in anytime she would deliver the baby in no time and so she did deliver the baby at 7 months "premature birth" although at first she take all the maternity leave and sick leave and so for her vacation just not to let go with the current work but she left no choice at all but to quit unto her job after the baby is a month old and she explain it to the management and the owner of the company was just telling her that if she would like to be back in the work she is welcome at anytime....'
@mlh8087 (368)
• United States
13 Aug 08
You do what your heart tells you to do. Children are resilient they will survive whatever you decide to do. I was a working mother and my child grew up just fine. She is working at a great job and has had her first baby, my first grandchild. She and her fiancee are about to get their first house and all is well with the world, so far...
Do what your heart tells you. You must have a great job to get 3 months maternity leave; I only got 6 weeks.
@candymarie (1368)
• Canada
18 Aug 08
That, I'll admit is a VERY hard decision, but I don't speak from experience, but more from watching on the sidelines for my cousin.
I have to say this, some women, aren't MEANT to be the stay at home mom, and refuse to admit it, and some can't wait to get out of there. The ones who are trying to bolt? No, doesn't make you a bad person, you just KNOW that you need to get back in your career, and good for you, getting your priorities straight! Kudos!
As for those moms who refuse to admit it, for the love of god, just accept that you're meant to go back to the workforce, and stop being a henpecking mother, or TRYING to be and just end up being annoying to EVERYONE, sorry, but it had to be said.
And of course, there are those mothers who are meant to stay home, because it feels so natural, they know how to time manage, they're just all around mellow people and are the envy of pretty much everyone.
AND then there are those mothers who are the same, but are FORCED to go back to work because one, they need a break, and some unfortunately think, work is a break, yet causes further stress, um, yeah, not a great idea, but that further stress creates the need for bigger breaks, which means, welp, get the sitter, oh wow, that expensive eh? well, better work more, creating more stress, BIG CIRCLE. But yes, a lot of mothers are forced to go back to work, mainly because of expenses, and YES! IT FRIGGIN SUCKS!!!
BUT.....does everyone know about this whole Paternity leave? I've only found out about it 4 years ago myself and LOVE that the government is in full support of this...at least it was in my province at the time, not sure if it branched out completely yet or not.
Daddies can take that time off too for the mommy to get back into work, AND it's saves a LOT of money, because you're not paying a sitter, your still both getting that income, and one of the parents are starting to destress, or heck maybe even both, because I have to admit, I've never seen/heard a bigger sigh of content than from a father who gets to sit down with their baby. It's ADORABLE!
NOW, as for "Full attention" for 5 years, I wouldn't say full attention, they should be able to play quietly with theirselves and have an understanding that quiet time can also be play time, just quiet.
and...wow, I'm sorry, I'm not really answering your question here am I? haha.
Well, I hope the further options and examples at least helps.
Good Luck!!
@insulin (2479)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Well in my opinion quitting her job is not the solution about that and I know that mother is really important to support the baby but you are both important to the baby..THe thing is,If your wife will quit the job then it will affect your lifestyle for sure and yeah you better ask her if she is willing to quit her job about that..But there is always a way with that problems..:-0 All you need to do is how to schedule everything..:-0 Good luck to both of you and godbless to your family..:-0
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
13 Aug 08
I so wish i could stay at home with our 6 month old boy...i was at home until about a month and a half ago, when me and hubby realised i had no choice to go back to work, if we were gonna be able to pay the bills and buy milk, diapers and what not for the baby. It totally broke my heart, and everyday, i dread the moment i have to leave for work. To all of those career oriented women, you are missing soooooooo much of your baby's life, and you don't even realize it! If you can afford to stay at home, STAY! You won't regret it!!
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
13 Aug 08
This again depends on situation if they family is financially good and if they dont have any commitments then it is better and good for mother to be at home and take care of child because that's what mother loves means , mother can do anything for the baby if the situation in family is bad and if we have any commitments to take care then it is better for mom to work and then also take care of baby either ways mother is doing for baby itself so I appreciate both the things but again the luck and the money is with you then it is better for a mom to be at home and take care of the baby for 5 years make that baby healthy and enjoy with baby like other household moms, for me I have many commitments due to which I leave my children at home and go for job but after coming from office I give all my love to my children but I feel that's what I can do for my baby I can not stay with them for longer time but I can certainly give good life to them.
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
13 Aug 08
It is a hard decision to make. Do you really need the money or can you stay home with your little bundle of joy? Some people can't afford to stay home and then there are times when a women needs her job just as much as a man does. Its hard to take care of a child 24/7 with hardly any breaks. Sometimes I miss going to work and having my life in order. I love being home with my kids though and wouldn't trade in my time with them for anything in the world.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I guess I am lucky. When my daughter was born I had the best of both worlds. I stayed home during the day with her. My hubby used to make it home in time so that I could work part time. I did that for over 3 years. In general it was a good experience. Now I work from home. It works out well for my family.
@DaddyOfTheRose (2934)
• United States
13 Aug 08
For some people this isn't really much of a discussion. If they can't make ends meet on one salary, the wife keeps working. They just 'deal with' getting daycare and hope for the best. For some, the wife can't make enough money to make daycare worthwhile. Then, again, it isn't much of a discussion, finances require that she not continue working.
In some families, it is possible for the husband to stay at home. Generally, this is not well approved as it seems unmanly for the guy to let his wife support him. Generally, a man is seen as less nurturing than a woman. And, again, generally a man is considered less of a homemaker.
@vidhyavini (6111)
• India
13 Aug 08
For a family to run properly definitely both of them should earn. Its not easy to get a job once we quit it. Life has to go with some adjustments only. Never blame it. Live the life to the fullest. Take Care.