An Irritating Colleague

WOW! Is her name (insert name here)? I think alot of times we just have to eat the crap.. ya know? If I rolled my eyes every time this person "Knew more" Dude I'd see my past. Some people are just this way, I believe that it is a way of making themselves fell worthy.. know what I mean? It is like an insecurity... (ask her if I spelled that correctly) LOL. I would keep quiet, we say this at work "Just give them enough rope to hang themselves with" I believe that. Do what you do, be the best you are at it, all will come to play!

We have several of that kind in our office, know it all people who as you said seem to know everything about everything under the sun. Fortunately for me, I am one of the big bosses in the office so everytime such person starts to lecture on something I just nod and then say lets also hear what sue or jack or someone has to say about it. In short,the know it all is iven the chance to share her knowledge but everyone else has also the same opportunity and so ideas are shared and it is not alwaysn her ideas which prevail. Of course, a lo of diplomacy is needed since I understand that these kind of people need to talk and share. it is their security and if deprived of the chance they could react negatively nd become liabilities instead of assets. You have to give them credit that they really know a lot of things but i guess they do read up on everything since that's their personality so they must have sufficient knowledge at their fingertips in order to be truwe to form. Nut definitely they become boring and short of being rude to them, we build up our defenses to such people.

what a friend you have there!!!your lucky to have her..just like a walking encyclopedia,adviser and sometimes a doctor into one!!kidding ok..i guess you had to stop telling her about something or even ask for anything..so that she will not give any comment and everything...on teaching you well.. thats too much!! maybe you could just remind her that your the one who taught her on first day she joined the company(jokingly) ..maybe she forgot due to her vast knowledge on everything..

Hi gr8life - this sounds like me to the nth degree. All except the irritating part (grrr!!! I am charming and likeable!! lol). Each year of my life I have taken on a new subject and studied it properly (as a hobby). I buy or borrow books from the library and in a disciplined way I would go about learning. You can gauge the diversity from the range of subjects - Air conditioning engineering to Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. In addition I am a magpie for learning - just about anything grabs my interest. So I am a bit of a "know-it-all". (see my posts!! lol) It is easy when you know a bit to become presumptuous that others know nothing. That is a trap that many knowledgeable people fall into. It is a terrible trap because while people will concede that you are knowledgeable you are insufferable. The best way to deal with such a person is to acknowledge and learn as much as tolerable from her - and firmly, clearly and without aggression draw the line as to where she gets off. This way you will benefit from her knowledge and spare yourself the aggro!!Cheers.

Your friend sounds like my co-workers in the first school where i taught... they were quite veteran teachers (especially those in the English Dept)... and they acted like they know everything... so what i did... is that i just nodded when i talked to them... which made me look that i was a stupid person that they can boss around... But there was a certain situation that happened before i resigned... i created a letter to one of the higher ups of the school... that change the way the school was being run... at first they did not know it was me... but when they found out... they cannot believe it... and i told them "I may look stupid... i may sound stupid... but the fact is... i am not stupid"... then i resigned to work abroad...

I think that we can all identify with what you are going through. I have had a similar experience, however not quite as intense. It is not easy when you have been a friend to someone and the relationship seems to take on a life of its own. However, one thing's for sure, you still consider her to be a 'friend' and that counts for a lot. If you sincerely consider her to be a friend, then I would tactfully tell her how you feel. On account that you find her attitude to be somewhat condescending, then it's important that you assert yourself. It's not about letting her know how "clever" you are, but it's really about respect, asserting yourself and self-preservation (preserving who you are as an individual). It's a tough place to be when someone imposes their opinions and ideas on you. What I usually say is "I got it," or "I'm okay, thank you for your help," or something along those lines depending on the situation. Moreover, it is clear that you have been a good friend to her and also very accepting of who she is as a person. That would explain why she decided to transfer to your department. In addition, she needs you somehow, because you clearly listen to her and seems to be quite non-judgmental, which is why she seems comfortable enough to share as much as she does with you. I understand that it can be quite insulting for someone to give you advice on a job that you are more than qualified to do, however, my thought is that she probably thinks she is really helping. I strongly feel that you should assert yourself in your conversations with her. I would just politely interrupt her and let her know that you are on task and you are just fine. Don't beat up on yourself if your conversations don't go your way or how you would like it to initially. Nothing changes overnight; like they say "Rome wasn't built in a day." I would just keep working at it, however don't allow yourself to continue to be stifled in the relationship you described. Allow who you are to shine, because she is loosing out on getting to know real you and all that you have to offer in the friendship. Imagine if we never share who we are with anyone; especially with our friends and families, then that relationship becomes inequitable and everyone looses out. At the end of the day only you know what's best. Bon chance.

Hi gr8life, [i]That will irritate me a lot..LOL! I have tried or experience having a colleague like that but we are not close, I prefer not to be around her and to be close to her..And she knows that! lol! I have not patient for people like that, I will not see myself offending her, i will just keep quiet for sure and stay away! Maybe she is very insecure and she needs a lot of attention![/i]

Well, she's very very intelligent. Just that. I think you should try to enlarge your cultural horizont with her. But I understand you, I have a friend that is like yours, and sometimes it's very very boring to stay with someone like that...

I think i had a friend like that before. And she's not only irratating me but as well as other people. This type of person suffer from attention deficiency. They show and let other people see and notice that they have a special ability like being genuis. Maybe because they want their weaknesses be unnotice through expressing something that may caught the attention of others. But sadly it didn't turn out to have a good impact on them.

Hi there!.. Reading your story made me laugh coz your colleague reminds me of a classmate I had way back in college. She's like a walking encyclopedia who seems to know everything. When she talks, I also keep on nodding and agreeing just for her to stop. Probably, if I were in your place, I'll just leave her alone. She's still an asset,but an irritating one though! lolz!

Poor you! I've known a couple of people who like to think they know everything, and it drove me mad! Usually they stop if they try talking about something you know more about than them!

You know it is very irritating to have an office mate like her. I experienced those things in the past also. I was working in a non-government office that is very demanding. And here's a lady who's in the accounting department who feels like she's the boss though she has the same rank as mine. Huh!

Unfortunately most offices have an "office know it all." If she doesn't bother you too much you could continue to ignore her, but it sounds like she is starting to wear her welcome thin. With these type of people trying to show them that you are more clever usually doesn't work. They often take this as a challenge to their position and you might find yourself in a never ending battle of one upmanship. In the past I have tried a tactic in which I listen politely for a minute or two then try to graciously excuse myself from the conversation. Something like "I am so sorry, I hate to interrupt but I have this assignment I have to finish." Sooner or later she should get the message. Hope this helps:)

I say grin and bear it. Remember this is just a colleague and not a loved one. I'm sure the person is thinking they are just helping you. If you don't want advice maybe monitor what you say to them.

to be honest, i also have that kind of friend in the past and it really irritates me a lot... it is even more irritating because they don't do what they are advising other people about... so it is like a useless thing for me and i call those people hypocrites... what's the point of advising other people if you can't do it yourself??? before you can give advice to other people, you have to be a better person than the person you give advice to... am i right??? i will just keep quiet and ignore those people... take care and have a nice day...

I think all face so,. we also have such a team member. Most funny is the caSE when he also opposes with all in any matter. he may or may not know about that.

Hi gr8life, you are not the only one who have friends like this. I'm also having one who like to give advices and I do not deny that she really knows a lot, from A to Z. I do not have any problem with her attitude as I did learn a lot from her. The only problem is the way she talk and how she wanted people to always follow her ways or recommendations...I mean, you gave suggestions, whether people take it or not it all depends on that person right? Well, I'm still friend of her as I know she's a good person even though she'd insulted many of her other friends. Normally I'll just listen to what she have to say and will not straight away tell her if I'll take her advice or not, just let her know that I appreciate her advises and will consider on it. Sometimes, I'll take her advice but not always though...

Well a lot of people are really like that. I just hope that that person realizes that people know what they do and they shouldn't be told about it again and again unless they ask you to do so. Well some people are like that because they feel superior when they do that.